If Authors Were Desserts

Have you ever thought that if so and so were a dessert they would be an apple strudel? This post is devoted to 8 authors and the desserts that in my opinion they/their writing corresponds to.

Charles Bukowski

Charles Bukowski

American poet and novelist Bukowski was known as the ‘laureate of American lowlife’.

Corresponding dessert: Baked apples with whiskey

bourbon-baked-apples

Rationale: Not aesthetically pleasing and unsophisticated it may be, but it tastes good.

E. L. James

ELJAmes

Erotica novelist E. L. James is one of the World’s best-selling authors.

Corresponding dessert: Cheesecake

cheese(Courtesy of Tennessee Cheesecake)

Rationale: Many, including yours truly, are of the opinion that cheese and cake should not be mixed.

Hunter S. Thompson

Hunter Thompson

The father of Gonzo journalism was a staunch patriot with an insatiable thirst.

Corresponding dessert: Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Pie

choc_pecan_pie(Courtesy of  Random Sweetness Baking)

Rationale: Self-explanatory.

Dan Brown

Brown

Brown has sold more than 200 million of his mystery/conspiracy novels.

Corresponding dessert: Ring-Shaped Donut

Doughnut(Courtesy of i food)

Rationale: These deep-fried treats are not only bad for the health, but they leave one feeling something’s missing.

Salman Rushdie

rushdie4

This Booker Prize winning author’s preferred genre is magic realism.

Corresponding dessert: Deconstructed Strawberry Falooda

Falooda2(Courtesy of Pinterest)

Rationale: This Indian dessert drink might not be soft on the eye, but it contains whole wheat vermicelli, gulkand preserve and is devoid of artificial colours.

John Steinbeck

JohnSteinbeck

Steinbeck was an iconic American author with socialist inclinations.

Corresponding dessert: Carrot Cake

carrotcake(Courtesy of Food Network)

Rationale: This modest and wholesome dessert is popular with the proletariat.

Agatha Christie

Agatha Christie

English crime novelist Agatha Christie is the best-selling author of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Tunnock’s Teacake

Tea Cake(Courtesy of the internet)

Rationale: One has to first unwrap the packaging and then bite through the outer layer to reveal what lies beneath.

Stephanie Meyer

Meyer

Meyer is a young-adult fiction writer responsible for the vampire romance series Twilight.

Corresponding dessert: Sponge Cake

sponge cake

(Courtesy of Cogo Food)

Rationale: It might look like a cake, feel like a cake and smell like a cake, but on taking a bite one realises it’s mostly just air.

4 Comments

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  • Hilarious! Especially Rushdie. He does seem a bit like a deconstructed strawberry falooda now you come to mention it. Do you think the authors would be happy with the desserts you allocated them?

    • I must confess that I am yet to ask the authors what they think. Having lived with a fatwah hanging over his head, Rushdie isn’t likely to be overly concerned with being compared to a deconstructed strawberry falooda.

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