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Football, Food & Fauna

Jul 09 2021

The big news this week is that England have reached their first football final since 1966. It has been a somewhat fortuitous journey. Ukraine in the quarters and Denmark in the semis is a pretty easy draw all things considered.

On Sunday, they face the Azzurri in the European Championship Final. I have been thoroughly enjoying the games. At the beginning of the tournament I had a punt on Italy, so even if disaster strikes the cloud will have a silver lining, albeit a meagre one.

In other news, I made this omelette. It took me ninety seven attempts to reach perfection. With the depth of knowledge and experience at my disposal, I feel confident that I will be able to repeat the feat several more times over my lifetime.

Got this ice cream by the sea last weekend. This seaside staple used to be called ’99 Flake’ back in the day. These days they go by the name ‘Mr Whippy’. We can thank Americanisation for that.

Well, that’s the exciting news out of the way.

Here are two pictures of deer taken this week.

Right, time to get some of the grass cut before it starts raining again.

Partying, Partaking, Pastries & Problems

Jul 02 2021

The partying in the title refers to the wedding I attended last Saturday. It had been a very long time since I had been in a large gathering of people. I managed to successfully avoid all physical contact. It came naturally to me.

Some lessons had to be relearned however. Lesson One: Make eye contact with people. Lesson Two: Don’t maintain eye contact 100% of the time (or one will appear psychotic). Lesson Three: Don’t drink to excess, or one will suffer the consequences.

It took me until I was around thirty to learn the first two lessons, but I learnt the latter when I was fifteen. Unfortunately, I had forgotten it. I have since been reminded.

The dining marquee

My place. There’s nothing quite like seeing one’s name in print.

That’s the wine done with. Anyone else a fan of Limoncello?

The two metre plus best man striding away from what was a successful speech.

A Scottish cousin and his other half in celebratory mood. No, it wasn’t England failing to beat Scotland in the football that was the cause of their jubilation.

Now for the pastries. They’re Baklava. I ate the entire box last night.

Finally, a break from the rain. It was time to get some gardening done. The problem was I couldn’t remember which oil the flymow takes.

Could have sworn it was this one.

I was wrong.

It’s A Dog’s Life

Jun 25 2021

Nothing of significance has happened this past week. Usually, I have some exciting news to share, such as pictures of yummy tidbits I’ve consumed. The only news to report is that a green tinge has appeared on what is going to be the new lawn. However, it is not yet in a photogenic state, so I’ll save the lawn pic for another week.

Therefore the dog is going to be the centre of attention this week. Firstly however, here is a picture of a deer. Back when wolves roamed the countryside, I doubt deer were so audacious. I can get almost close enough to touch them.

Two comfy chairs available yet Trigga opts for the floor. It gets hot in here in the summer and the wooden floor is the coolest place. He does have a mat to lie on. Latches for the windows are supposed to be arriving soon.

Trigga leading the way on a walk.

Relaxing in the garden post-walk.

Staring at things on the floor is so much more interesting than watching The Euros.

Will this tedious football tournament ever end? Guy is watching it practically every day and it’s so boring. Surely men should have evolved beyond watching a ball being kicked about. Dogs have.

The Germany vs Hungary game on Wednesday was a fascinating spectacle and undoubtedly the highlight of the week thus far. England are playing Germany next Tuesday in the last sixteen. Can’t say I’m feeling particularly optimistic. Like most of my nation, I am still haunted by the memories of ’90 and ’96.

When was the last time you saw loads of people at once? I am going to a wedding this Saturday. It will be the first time I have seen more than a handful of people in one go in a very long time. I guess most of you have faced the same Covid-related predicament/blessing in disguise.

Torrential Rain & Back From The Brink

Jun 18 2021

Last Friday for the first time in nearly a decade, I didn’t post an update on my blog. You must have been thinking I kicked the bucket, was put behind bars, or removed by the men in white coats. This is not the case.

What happened was, last Thursday when I tried to access my website, it didn’t exist. In a state of panic, I logged in to HostGator. My account had been suspended because I hadn’t paid. The reason I hadn’t was because I was under the impression guyportman.com had migrated to AWS. I was mistaken. There had been some miscommunication which had led me to making a potentially ruinous assumption.

A decade’s worth of blog posts and nearly 150 books reviews disappearing into the void was too much to bear. I was searching for the key to my shotgun cabinet when HostGator got back to me to say that my account was only suspended, and that I could get it restored for a fee.

It proved pretty complicated getting my website moved back over to guyportman.com. It took thirty-six hours and the help of a friend who updated the code, as well as Sunil from HostGator to get it up and running again. While I waited nervously for the site to be resurrected, I found solace in nature.

And eating.

Anyway, the site is back now. In other news, I got 140+ tonnes of soil dumped at the bottom of my garden. It was going spare. The soil has now been spread around. With any luck it will become a nice lawn in time.

It has been bucketing down the last twenty-four hours. Good thing I got the grass seed down in time.

Have a good weekend.

Nature, Nourishment, Naps & News.

Jun 04 2021

Let’s start off with the nature. I’m not really a flower person, but here are some from my garden. Hydrangeas, I think.

Not even an Iroquois tracker could get this close.

A slow worm.

My cock pheasant has found a female friend. There are no sour grapes on my part. Well, maybe a little.

The weather’s been hot and sunny of late.

Red isn’t my favourite colour, honestly.

I mentioned ‘Nourishment’ in the title. Not sure a kebab is really nourishment, but anyway here it is.

Dessert.

Trigga having a nap.

Another day, another nap.

Now for the ‘News’. Brace yourselves; I’ve got a new chair.

It has lumbar support, a headrest (albeit one designed for pygmies) & armrests.

The news doesn’t end there. Mangetout is free on Amazon for today and tomorrow only. Please download a copy if you haven’t already.

Links: Amazon US & Amazon UK

Weather, Writing, WordPress & Wildlife.

May 28 2021

After what has felt like weeks of virtually non-stop rain, the sun has finally come out. It is here to stay; at least that is what the weather forecast is claiming.

Is it just me, or is WordPress not working very well at the moment. It is incredibly slow whenever I use it and there are ongoing issues with uploading images. Rant over. I have been writing non-stop of late. Have just finished a third draft of a novel and am flying through another. However, this has come at a price. There has been nothing vaguely resembling marketing going on, and no social media, or building my mailing list.

On another subject, the cock pheasant has been spending ever more time at mine. How’s this for a close-up of him.

Blossom – a sight for sore eyes.

The dog on his morning walk.

Trigga moments later on point.

The obligatory weekly photo of a deer. This roe buck was considering whether flight or fight was the way to go. He opted for flight. You can never be sure at this time of year which way they’ll turn.

My current read. It’s a slow burn and morbidly depressing in places, but I can’t get enough of McCarthy.

I have some exciting news to share with you. Last Sunday, I went to a restaurant for the first time in forever.

This was purportedly a chocolate mousse. At least that’s what I ordered. Perhaps due to the fact none of us have been out for so long, restaurants now think they can pull the wool over our eyes. Good thing it was delicious, or I would have kicked up a fuss.

Pastures New

May 21 2021

As is the case with near on everyone, I haven’t been anywhere in ages due to the bug that’s been doing the rounds. Last weekend that all changed. I travelled up the east side of the country to the county of Norfolk. It was a long overdue change of scene and proved to be a welcome break from typing and television. Much of the time was spent walking. Saturday’s walk entailed traversing several fords.

A hauntingly beautiful tree.

Despite the omnipresent threat of a downpour, we were only drizzled on a few times.

How’s this for a close up shot of a wild rabbit. Good thing the dog had gone on ahead. Had it not, bunny would likely have bolted long before I got this close.

The entrance to a medieval monastery.

And here are the ruins of the monastery.

A tranquil village at the halfway point of the walk.

On the Sunday, I went to ‘The Washes’. In the winter they are a flooded haven for migratory wildfowl. At this time of year farmers graze their animals here. There is something disconcerting about being followed by cattle. I’ve heard several horror stories recently of people being trampled by them. I managed to make it through the herd unscathed.

Trigga, having smelt a pheasant hiding in the long grass.

Since my childhood many decades ago, I have always wanted to walk to ‘The Iron Bridge’.

Here is a picture of yours truly under the bridge.

4 Good Books I Read Recently.

May 14 2021

I haven’t got much to report on this week, so it’s back to my tried and trusted topic that is reading. Here are four good and very different books I’ve read recently. Click on the links to read my reviews.

All The Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy

Set during WWII, this moving and at times suspenseful novel is a bildungsroman-type story with nihilistic undertones.

My Review: Texan teenager John Grady’s family farm is poised to be sold. As a result, he decides it is time to leave for pastures new. The enterprising adolescent and close friend Rawlins set off for …(More)

Submission by Michel Houellebecq

Submission is an eminently readable, if somewhat pretentious novel. It boasts seductive prose, a satirical undertone, and a touch of melancholy.

My Review: The 2022 French Election sees the Front National defeated by the Muslim Fraternity, who have formed a coalition with another party. Overnight, France alters dramatically. The education …(More)

Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins

Letting Go is not this cynical creature’s typical reading fare. It is a revealing book penned by a scientist with alternative tendencies.

My Review: This self-help book is dedicated to the process of letting go. Its author advocates allowing feelings to be present, as opposed to repressing them. The resulting sensation might be intense he …(More)

The Rules of Attraction by Bret Easton Ellis

The text’s plotless nature mirrors the vapid, aimless characters that populate it. Themes include bi-sexuality, drugs and despair.

My Review: The book is written in the first person from the perspective primarily of three students – Lauren, Sean and Paul. All are pupils of Camden College, an exclusive New Hampshire-based liberal arts …(More)

Motivation, Mutts, Meat and More.

May 07 2021

I’m really getting into this alliteration thing. As for the Oxford comma, for better or worse I abstained.

Let’s start off with motivation. If anyone has any to spare send it my way, I could do with some. Here’s a good quote about motivation I came across earlier today – “You can either experience the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The choice is yours.”

Why can’t one have both?

Moving on. Here is a good photo of Trigga. Something must have caught his interest as he went ‘on point’.

Despite being chased by Trigga, this cock pheasant keeps turning up in my garden. He is pheasant non grata across the road, and as a result has had to find new pastures. The dominant cock across the road has a harem of hens and doesn’t want any males around.

This mateless bird is in esteemed company here. I have faced the same scenario numerous times.

Vegetarians, please avert your gaze.

How’s this for a colour-coordinated combo?

Currently, I am trying to get back into my writing routine. Writing was so easy when it was a habit, but I am now struggling. However, I have managed to catch up with some odds and ends, including writing reviews of books that I’ve read recently. There are presently 192 book reviews in the review section of this website, all written by moi.

Have a good weekend.

Pizzas, Pheasants & Projects

Apr 30 2021

I’ve had a short break from the writing and have been concentrating on gardening. It has taken a Sisyphean effort to get the garden in shape. Ominously, the grass is growing and it seems I’ll need to get back out there soon. I’m not complaining really. Gardening is a cathartic activity and good exercise.

Carbohydrates are a must after toiling in the garden.

Today’s game is called spot the pheasant. Here are three photos, each of which contains a pheasant I came across this week. Can you spot them?

That last one was so well camouflaged, I nearly stepped on it.

Anyone else a fan of Asahi?

Here is a picture of my dog next to a molehill, defiling my immaculate lawn.

Yet more deer.

My current read is a transgressive work peppered with dark humour. Irvine Welsh (AKA ‘The Transgressive Messiah’) is a master of dialogue.

I’m in a quandary now. What should I do first – read, or flatten that molehill? … Eeny, meeny, miny, moe …

AUTHOR GUY PORTMAN'S BLOG

Football, Food & Fauna

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Partying, Partaking, Pastries & Problems

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It’s A Dog’s Life

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Torrential Rain & Back From The Brink

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Nature, Nourishment, Naps & News.

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Weather, Writing, WordPress & Wildlife.

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Pastures New

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4 Good Books I Read Recently.

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Motivation, Mutts, Meat and More.

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Pizzas, Pheasants & Projects

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AUTHOR GUY PORTMAN'S BLOG

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