Countdown to London 2012

London 2012 is merely a week away and it appears that nearly everything is ready to go, including:

• Venues – completed.
• Warehousing – UPS is braced to move >30m items.
• Transportation – special Olympic routes set up throughout the city.

Even the weather is towing the line, for after months of nearly constant rain (including the wettest April & June on record) a warm front is approaching across the Atlantic.

 And then there’s G4S, the world’s leading provider of security solutions, who were awarded the contract for the security of the Olympic venues way back in 2008.  G4S had promised to provide 10,000 staff to secure the games, but merely days from the start of London 2012, they inform us that they have merely 4,000 staff.  Actually it seems that I am mistaken in that figure; my companion sitting next to me is waving yesterday’s Sun newspaper inches from my face whilst pointing animatedly at an article about how two of G4S’s staff members have been arrested for being suspected illegal immigrants.  That leaves 3,998 then.

Days after the announcement of the shortfall in staff, G4S’s deputy boasted that the company could handle two Olympics; this despite the fact that it is glaringly obvious to everyone else that G4S can handle only 0.4 Olympics.  Fortunately the British army will now be providing the shortfall in security for the Olympic venues, so we are all able to emit a communal sigh of relief.  A number of jokes have been appearing on the internet about this.  You may have already have heard them but I include them for those who haven’t.

Q). How many G4S staff does it take to secure the Olympics?

A). An army.

Q). How many G4S staff does it take to change a light bulb?

A).  Six soldiers and a policeman.

With any luck the whole debacle will soon be forgotten and in a week’s time we will be enjoying Danny Boyle’s (director of Slum Dog Millionaire) £27m opening ceremony extravaganza, which will be seen by 80k spectators and an estimated 1bn worldwide.  The Olympic stadium is to be transformed into an English countryside scene, complete with 70 sheep, 12 horses, 10 chickens, 3 cows, 2 goats, 8 geese and 3 dogs.  Let’s just hope that G4S aren’t providing the animals.

Have you had a chance to hear G4S’s anthem, if not here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4pSztQk2_0