2020 | Guy Portman's Blog

Covid-19: The Escalating Situation

Mar 20 2020

This week’s been all downhill as far as the Covid-19 situation is concerned. Well, perhaps that’s not entirely true. China are claiming they have no new cases of the virus; but other than that it’s all pretty bleak. It wasn’t so many weeks ago that an Italian was telling me that her country was being their usual overly-dramatic selves in their response to the coronavirus problem. Italy’s body count now exceeds China’s.

As for me, I made another trip to the supermarket this week.

I guess many of you have been facing a similar situation. On the bright side, I did manage to get some (non-supermarket) loo roll. 85p a roll – it’s designer.

And the good news didn’t end there. Another shop even had eggs. Happy days.

This weekend, I was supposed to be working at a sporting event (UFC at the O2) but it has since been cancelled – the latest victim in this post-Apocalyptic sporting landscape. The question is, will the Olympics go ahead? This made me laugh:

My dog’s life hasn’t changed much. He still goes for walks, sleeps, eats, and watches Netflix.

I haven’t been hoarding dog food deliberately; it just comes in 15kg bags.

My fellow humans are meant to be reading more now they, or many of them anyway, are in self-isolation. Well if they are, they’re not reading my darkly humorous offerings. Or perhaps this is just the calm before the storm.

Click here to view my Goodreads Author Page.

Coronavirus: It’s Here and It’s Here To Stay.

Mar 13 2020

It was only weeks ago that coronavirus (COVID-19) was a distant threat, and now Tom Hanks and his wife have it. The shadow of COVID-19 looms everywhere. I went to the supermarket earlier this week. These shelves are usually brimming with toilet paper and kitchen roll, but they now resemble something out of North Korea.

This was my first personal taste of the ongoing crisis. Then I found out that the large sporting event that I was supposed to be working at next weekend, may not go ahead. It could be worse; I could be dead. There are only 10 Covid-19 related deaths here in the UK, but that will presumably increase many fold.

As for self-isolating, I’ve been doing it for years so it shouldn’t be a problem should I get the virus. I’ve just been reading the National Health System’s advice concerning self-isolating.

1). Sleep alone if possible – Tick, that’s a given.

2). Try to keep at least 2 metres (3 steps) from other people in your home – Tick. There are no other people …

While much of the population and many businesses are starting to feel the cost of the outbreak, every cloud has a silver lining, at least for some. The coronavirus is proving to be a gold rush for mask manufacturers, and some hedge funds too. Boaz Weinstein’s primary fund ‘gained 25.5% in the year’s first two months as he bet against companies exposed to the coronavirus …’

Will the crisis also prove to be lucrative for some authors, one wonders, what with self-isolators and off work workers having more time to devote to reading. Only time will tell.

Cambodia – The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Mar 06 2020

I’ve been out in Cambodia briefly. A strange time to travel what with the global epidemic, but I needed a break from the relentless rain. As for the trip, it was good, bad and ugly. In hindsight I probably wouldn’t have chosen to spend much of my time in Sihanoukville on the Cambodian coast. The city is in the process of being turned into a Chinese gambling destination. Or at least it was – the coronavirus has resulted in many would-be Chinese tourists staying at home. And due to an online casino gambling ban, the majority of the 100+ casinos are closed for now.

Unbeknown to me, the city had just been dug up in order to build new roads and water pipes, resulting in the place resembling a post-Apocalyptic nightmare. All western tourist amenities (bars etc.) have been bulldozered.

It is a dirty, dusty and unforgiving environment. No fun for the city’s residents, especially those with respiratory complaints. If and when the Chinese reappear in numbers, their navy and air force are expected to join them.

Factory-bound workers.

Fortunately, the resort I was staying at was on the edge of town. It was by and large fairly pleasant.

There are islands off Sihanoukville. I made a couple of day trips to one of them – Koh Rong Samloem. This idyllic paradise felt a world away from the urban nightmare.

I also spent a few day in the capital, Phnom Penh. My activities included a cruise on the Mekong. It wasn’t the most scenic of cruises.

The Royal Palace proved to be a more ascetically pleasing outing.

Pigeons beside the Mekong in downtown Phnom Penh.

Once you get away from the main thoroughfares, much of the city is a rubbish-strewn dump.

Octopus and a beer.

Tawdry, ill-advised advertising.

A delicious crab soup.

These oriental-style ribs were exceptionally good.

A ‘Boutique Hotel’ (see middle)

Phnom Penh’s Golden Temple.

I hope you enjoyed my whistle-stop tour of Sihanoukville and Phnom Penh. See you next week.

6 Disturbing Reading Recommendations

Feb 28 2020

It’s been a while since I dedicated a post to disturbing books – other than my own of course. Here are six disturbing reading recommendations. Click on the links to read my reviews.

The Road

The aptly named The Road is a bleak, minimalist post-apocalyptic novel.

My Review: A cataclysmic event has left the world in ruins, and almost everything and everyone is dead. In the absence of food, the remaining humans are reduced to …(more)

Marabou Stork Nightmares

This inventive book boasts parallel stories and different levels of awareness.

My Review: Roy Strang narrates this story from the hospital in which he is lying in a coma. It begins in South Africa, where he and his friend Sandy Jamieson are hunting the …(more)

Novel with Cocaine

Novel with Cocaine is a nihilistic novel about adolescence and addiction.

My Review: Set in the years immediately before and after the Russian Revolution, Novel with Cocaine follows the life of Vadim, a Moscow adolescent and …(more)

Haunted

This series of short stories explore a variety of themes, including the media-obsessed nature of society.

My Review: Haunted is about a group of writers, who have been assembled by the conniving Mr Whittier to attend a writers group. The location of the retreat is in an isolated theatre with … (more)

Dark Places

This dark psychological thriller boasts an unpalatable subject matter and reprehensible characters.

My Review: Libby Day was only seven when she witnessed her family being brutally murdered in their Kansas farmhouse. It was Libby’s testimony that saw her then teenage …(more)

Lolita

This highly controversial book is about a man’s infatuation with a twelve-year-old girl.

My Review: The protagonist, Humbert Humbert, is an intellectual with an all-consuming craving for young girls, or nymphets as he refers to them. After his wife leaves him for …(more)

Storms, Sustenance & Soul-Searching

Feb 21 2020

The UK has experienced some wretched weather of late. It hasn’t been that cold, at least not here in the south, but the rain has been something else. First there was Storm Ciara, then Storm Dennis. This rainbow made a fleeting appearance between deluges.

Both my dog and I have been relishing our new piece of furniture. It is proving to be an extremely soporific sofa.

British people generally only eat kebabs when they’re drunk. But the kebab van near me is so good, they are palatable even when sober. I was tipsy when I devoured this x-large one.

Wood pigeon breast is a particularly favourite of mine and readily available here in the countryside.

Currently, I am working on my latest darkly humorous offering. It will probably be of novella length and contain two stories. I will release more information in due course. I have also been trying to garner some interest in my other books. Sales picked up a bit in January, but this month has been disappointing.

Well, hope springs eternal, or at least that’s what they say. Have a good weekend.

The Necropolis Trilogy Box Set

Feb 14 2020

Today, I am pleased to unveil the Necropolis Trilogy Box Set. My hope is that its vibrant colours will prove as irresistible to dark humour crime readers as the bright feathers used to lure mackerel.

Initially, the box set will be for eBook only. The individual books that make up my black comedy trilogy will continue to also be offered in paperback form.

In other news, the 19 free crime books offer I introduced last week is still running. The offer includes Necropolis; the first instalment in my darkly humorous crime trilogy.

800+ Ratings for the Necropolis Trilogy on Goodreads

‘The book is full of razor-sharp satire’ – Crime Fiction Lover

‘… a magnificent foray into the mind of a sociopath’ – DLS Reviews

Have a good weekend.

19 Free Crime Books – Limited Time Only

Feb 07 2020

I have teamed up with some of my fellow authors to offer you a selection of 19 free crime books. Our offer includes the first instalment in my darkly humorous crime trilogy. The revamped #1 Necropolis has a new front cover and blurb.

Click Here To View The 19 FREE Books

All you have to do to claim your free book is sign up to the given author’s mailing list. It can then be downloaded in your desired format. You can unsubscribe at any time. If you want my book, but are already signed up to my mailing list, sign up again. I will remove any duplicates. The offer runs until Feb. 29.

Please share this offer with anyone who might be interested. Have a good weekend.

Click Here to Claim Your Free Books

800+ Ratings for Necropolis Trilogy on Goodreads

‘… a magnificent foray into the mind of a sociopath’ – DLS Reviews

‘The book is full of razor-sharp satire’ – Crime Fiction Lover

Culinary Delights & Reading Plans

Jan 31 2020

I’ve read two books so far this year. The first was a pleasure, the second a chore. Here are the next books on the list. The genres will come as no surprise to those familiar with this blog. The first is dark fiction, the second Transgressive fiction. I am a big fan of McCormac and Welsh (the majority of his stuff).

And now for the culinary delights. Sunday roasts are something of a staple for us English. This beef was exceptional.

And here is a French staple I had at a café. Croque monsieur proved to be an inspired choice.

Green tea and chocolate brownies – the perfect combination for reading time.

If our world has a better dessert on offer than baklava, I am yet to try it.

Thank you America. Our nation is all the better for the introduction of Five Guys.

Vegetable samosas – my all-time favourite starter. And this is coming from a carnivore.

See you next Friday …

Necropolis: New Front Cover and Blurb Reveal

Jan 24 2020

Today, I am pleased to unveil the new front cover and blurb for Necropolis – part one in the recently completed Necropolis Trilogy. Initially, when the darkly humorous crime novel was released back in 2014, I was satisfied with the front cover the designer came up with. But, I recently came to the conclusion that not enough was going on with it and that it was too simple to draw readers in; in the droves at any rate. My feeling is the new cover better encapsulates the book’s content especially when viewed as a thumbnail, which is how prospective buyers will generally view the thing. Here is the new cover:

Necropolis’ blurb also required a makeover. Fortunately, friend, stand-up comedian and sometime copywriter Adam Riley came up with a much improved version. With any luck readers will approve.

The new blurb:

Have a good weekend.

The Great Outdoors

Jan 17 2020

It’s been a very warm winter here in the UK. Maybe Greta Thunberg is on to something with this global warming thing. Yesterday, snow drops appeared in my garden. These augurs of spring should not be emerging for quite some time yet.

And there was a mosquito in my house last night. I squashed it before I thought of taking a photo. And as I didn’t fancy having a squashed mosquito on my blog, you’ll have to take my word for it.

Despite the warm weather, it’s been cool enough in the evening to enjoy a fire. And there’ll be more what with colder weather on the way.

Last weekend I went up to the Fens in East Anglia. Even with the advent of Netflix and iTunes, nothing compares to the great outdoors. Below are swans in flight during the late afternoon.

A full moon followed.

Below is a Japanese-themed tea I enjoyed yesterday.

My first book of the year was The Rapture. It is about a cult. Not my typical reading fare, but I got it for Christmas. I would not hesitate in recommending this intriguing mix of fiction and non-fiction.

2020 has to date found me procrastinating, faffing around and not getting a great deal done. However, I have a new blurb and front cover on the way for Necropolis (#1 Necropolis Trilogy). I look forward to sharing them with you next Friday. Have a good weekend.

Archive - 2020

Covid-19: The Escalating Situation

Like this:

Coronavirus: It’s Here and It’s Here To Stay.

Like this:

Cambodia – The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Like this:

6 Disturbing Reading Recommendations

Like this:

Storms, Sustenance & Soul-Searching

Like this:

The Necropolis Trilogy Box Set

Like this:

19 Free Crime Books – Limited Time Only

Like this:

Culinary Delights & Reading Plans

Like this:

Necropolis: New Front Cover and Blurb Reveal

Like this:

The Great Outdoors

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Archive - 2020

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