July | 2021 | Guy Portman's Blog

Cafes, Calamities, Catnaps & Creepy Crawlies

Jul 30 2021

It had been a long time since I’d been in a cafe. I guess I’m not alone in that regard.

No sooner had I started on the brush cutting than I discovered the metal plate had buckled. This resulted in a forty minute round trip to the garden tool repair shop.

En route I took to thinking about what it would be like living in rural Alberta when something like this happened. The garden tool shop could be two or three hours away.

Here is a picture of the kebab I had last weekend.

Trigga enjoying a catnap.

Yet another photo of a deer.

One would expect to find a creepy crawly this size in the tropics, not in West Sussex. It is a crane fly I am told, also known as a mosquito hawk. I’m pleased that I didn’t squash it, as they hunt mosquitos.

Currently, I am writing reviews of books I have read recently. They have been good, bad and ugly. Here are some of the good ones. Reviews to follow.

Have a good weekend.

Games, Grub & Gardening Galore

Jul 23 2021

By ‘Games’, I’m referring to The Olympic Games. The opening ceremony is today. Can’t say I’ll be watching. Maybe it’s just me, but there is something unappealing about an Olympics with no spectators.

Synchronised swimming isn’t particularly exciting at the best of times, and without a vociferous crowd in attendance it is tantamount to watching paint dry. Same goes for a lot of other events I’m thinking. However, one suspects a significant proportion of the world’s population will still tune in to see the men’s 100 metres final. I know I will. Wonder who the sprinters to watch are now Bolt and the ‘anti-christ’ Gatlin are gone.

Anyone else a fan of watermelon. There is no more refreshing way to kick off a hot summer’s day.

This proved to be a healthy dinner. Good thing I like the colour green.

Another day, another green tea. If you haven’t seen it before, this is my Italia 90 Panini mug.

Trigga, having his siesta.

What with the all the rain and now sun, the garden has been growing like mad. I got two hours of help last week, but otherwise I’ve been fighting with it alone. Not to complain – gardening is a cathartic activity and good exercise etc.

Admittedly, most of what I do is just cutting stuff. I’ve had neither the time or inclination to create beds brimming with an abundance of colourful flora. Maybe one of these days.

Just when I thought it was all done, I realised I’d forgotten this section. It looks like the Amazon Rainforest pre-Bolsonaro.

Better get it cleared right away before the rain comes.

Fauna, Feasts, Feathers, Fiction & Flora

Jul 16 2021

I’m really getting into this whole alliteration thing. Not sure titles of this ilk are effective in driving traffic to my blog, but c’est la vie. Let’s begin with the fauna. Yes, it’s another photo of a deer. The best to date in my opinion.

Anyone else like vegetable samosa? They’re one of my favourites, and this is coming from a carnivore. Consumed the rest of the Indian takeaway before taking any photos, so this shot of the samosas will have to suffice.

I was surprised to find this gargantuan feather in my garden. There are no birds sporting feathers that big to be found here, unless there’s an ostrich hiding somewhere. I assume it was shed from a passing heron, or was carried in by crows, who have a habit of collecting random things. The trainer is included as a point of comparison.

Here is Trigga inspecting our new bit of garden. It was only sown recently. It has grown quickly what with all the rain there’s been. It’s a bit patchy though and will need some more seed after its first mow.

Of late, I have had the misfortune of reading some rather poor books. However, I am poised to begin this controversial novel. It has received praise and condemnation in equal measure. You’ve probably heard of American Dirt.

Time to baptise the new lawn. Have a good weekend.

Football, Food & Fauna

Jul 09 2021

The big news this week is that England have reached their first football final since 1966. It has been a somewhat fortuitous journey. Ukraine in the quarters and Denmark in the semis is a pretty easy draw all things considered.

On Sunday, they face the Azzurri in the European Championship Final. I have been thoroughly enjoying the games. At the beginning of the tournament I had a punt on Italy, so even if disaster strikes the cloud will have a silver lining, albeit a meagre one.

In other news, I made this omelette. It took me ninety seven attempts to reach perfection. With the depth of knowledge and experience at my disposal, I feel confident that I will be able to repeat the feat several more times over my lifetime.

Got this ice cream by the sea last weekend. This seaside staple used to be called ’99 Flake’ back in the day. These days they go by the name ‘Mr Whippy’. We can thank Americanisation for that.

Well, that’s the exciting news out of the way.

Here are two pictures of deer taken this week.

Right, time to get some of the grass cut before it starts raining again.

Partying, Partaking, Pastries & Problems

Jul 02 2021

The partying in the title refers to the wedding I attended last Saturday. It had been a very long time since I had been in a large gathering of people. I managed to successfully avoid all physical contact. It came naturally to me.

Some lessons had to be relearned however. Lesson One: Make eye contact with people. Lesson Two: Don’t maintain eye contact 100% of the time (or one will appear psychotic). Lesson Three: Don’t drink to excess, or one will suffer the consequences.

It took me until I was around thirty to learn the first two lessons, but I learnt the latter when I was fifteen. Unfortunately, I had forgotten it. I have since been reminded.

The dining marquee

My place. There’s nothing quite like seeing one’s name in print.

That’s the wine done with. Anyone else a fan of Limoncello?

The two metre plus best man striding away from what was a successful speech.

A Scottish cousin and his other half in celebratory mood. No, it wasn’t England failing to beat Scotland in the football that was the cause of their jubilation.