Promotion | Guy Portman's Blog

Meals, Mangetout & More

Feb 26 2021

There have been some impressive skies here of late.

When I haven’t been staring at the sky, I’ve been writing, reading and eating.

Kebabs + beer = a great combination.

And here’s a shot of something healthier. It’s a tuna salad containing six ingredients that I made earlier.

Books and green tea is another favoured combo.

There is less than two weeks to go until the release of my latest book – Mangetout. This quick read will appeal to all fans of darkly humorous crime fiction.

Trouble has a habit of finding some people.

These sharp, shocking and suspenseful stories are a must read.

Have a good weekend.

Mangetout Blurb Reveal

Feb 12 2021

Today, I am pleased to unveil the updated blurb for Mangetout (Release date: March 11th).

Trouble has a habit of finding some people.

Kitchenhand Deron thinks he’s hit the jackpot when a routine delivery of vegetables turns out to be contraband. The problem is it belongs to somebody else. And they want it back.

Financier Hamish has got involved in the arms trade and business is good. However, he’s unwittingly made a formidable foe. One who will stop at nothing for revenge.

Ken’s fed up with the nine-to-five. An illegal venture with girlfriend Laura brings the job satisfaction he craves, but also attention from organised crime. This could all go horribly wrong.

These sharp, shocking and suspenseful stories are a must read.

‘Dangerously droll crime capers’ – Adam Riley, Comedian

Mangetout is my eighth book. I am currently hard at work on a ninth. Have a good weekend.

My Goodreads Author Page Link

Mangetout Cover Reveal & A New Blurb.

Feb 05 2021

I’ve written a new book. Mangetout will be unleashed on the world on March 11th. It is a crime caper of sorts. Mangetout will appeal to fans of crime fiction and dark humour.

Trouble has a habit of finding some people.

Hope you like it as much as I do. Red seems to fit the genre. After all red equals danger. Mangetout has the same format and virtually the same word count as my last effort, The Gazebo. It consists of three dark, acerbic tales that explore crime and class.

The plan was to share the blurb too today. I unveiled it to my mailing list subscribers last week. Unfortunately, I have since been presented with some data that suggests it will not convert well. I am currently rewriting it. If only I’d tested it prior to the designer designing the book’s back matter. I should know better by now. That’s the thing about experience – it only teaches the teachable.

I have however penned a new blurb for one of my other books – Tomorrow’s World. Some of my titles are wide, but Tomorrow’s World is an Amazon exclusive work. It’s ticking along in the Kindle Library, but I don’t feel it’s converting as well as it could.

If the new blurb works, great. If it needs some further polishing that option’s always open. Anyway, here it is:

Escape to the future with this hilarious and thought-provoking read.

Englishman Terrence has had enough of accountancy. After all, it’s been his job for over six decades. He’d bow out if the government didn’t keep increasing the mandatory retirement age. At this rate, Terrence will be working until doomsday.

American plutocrat Walter has harnessed the power of age-defying medication and enjoys the life of a conceited centenarian. But many are fed up with his kind. If the situation doesn’t change fast, there could be a revolution.

With its dark humour and gripping narrative, Tomorrow’s World paints a vivid picture of a future that’s a little too close for comfort.

‘Takes our current foibles and obsessions to their logical, gruesome and absurd conclusions’ – Adam Riley, Comedian

I could include the old blurb for comparison, but this post would be pretty long if I did that, so I’m not going to. If you want to see it get over to Amazon. You better hurry though because it’s poised to swap over any minute now. Have a good weekend.

Tomorrow’s World Amazon Link

The December Dark Fiction Bonanza.

Dec 25 2020

Happy Christmas everyone. I hope Santa brought you everything you wished for. If not don’t worry because I’ve got a present for you. But first I would like to share a picture of my Christmas Cake (Disclaimer: I didn’t make it). By the time you read this, it is probably half eaten.

I have teamed up with my fellow dark fiction authors to offer you a selection of 15 FREE dark fiction books. They include one of mine. The promotion ends on Sunday (27th).

December Dark Fiction Bonanza Link

All you have to do to claim your free book/s is to sign up to the given author’s mailing list. You can unsubscribe at any time. If you are already on my mailing list and want my title, just sign up again. I will remove any duplicates.

Happy Christmas and happy reading.

Food, Feasting, Fire & Free Fiction.

Nov 20 2020

We are in the midst of Lockdown #2 here in the UK and fun is in short supply. It’s wet, miserable and gets dark really early. Fortunately, there is still pleasure to be found. It had been a long time since I had scampi and chips.

Here is a Tesco-originating, Italian-themed antipasto I assembled earlier.

News of the birdfeeder has spread like wildfire. There are often multiple tits on the feeder at any given time with more waiting in the wings.

I’ll probably only fill it once a week. Otherwise it is going to become a financial burden.

After weeks of mild weather, there has been a cold spell. It was 1°C this morning.

The first fire of the season.

Presently, there is a KDP free day promotion running for my satirical offering – Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future. It is the only one of my books exclusive to Amazon. The five day campaign ends tomorrow (Saturday).

1,302 Amazon users downloaded Tomorrow’s World yesterday and it reached #37 Free in Kindle Store in Canada this lunchtime. Whether any of this means anything, only time will tell. Regardless, I am pleased that the book appeals enough for people to download despite the fact that it hasn’t got many reviews. Now I need them to read it.

Links: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon CA, Amazon AU

Have a good weekend.

A Scary Fun Book Bonanza

Oct 23 2020

Before I get into the details of the book bonanza, here is a photograph taken in my home office stroke summerhouse. I finally moved in on Monday. So far it is proving to be a new lease of life. The only problem, or benefit, depending on how you look at it, is that there is presently no internet.

Now for the book bonanza. I have teamed up with twenty of my fellow humour authors for a promotion. Scary Fun Books runs from Oct. 19th-31st. The books encompass a number of genres and all tastes are catered for. My title is Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future. It is presently on offer for the tantalising price of 99c/99p from Amazon only.

SCARY FUN BOOKS LINK

Time to get back to the office. I am hard at work on my latest book (#8). The plan is to finish it in record time.

Have a good weekend.

Torrential Rain, Transgressive Fiction & Culinary Delights.

Oct 02 2020

It’s absolutely pouring out there. On a day like this, one just wants to lie around in a hot bath, or watch Netflix. Not sure this photo in any way captures the severity of the current downpour, but for better or worse here it is.

The dog is also feeling lethargic today.

I am an avid consumer of fish fingers. However, it’d been a long time since I had fishcakes.

Prior to the weather turning horrendous, I came across these pheasants near my house feasting on birdseed.

Anyone a fan of carrot cake? For some reason I was under the impression that I couldn’t stand the stuff; so it was a pleasant surprise last weekend to discover I was sorely mistaken.

This week I purged my mailing list. It had a lot of dead weight. Now it’s time to start building it up again.

I have also been reading. Not sure how it took me so long to get around to reading this, as I am something of an Easton Ellis fan. So far, so good.

Currently, I am seeking reviews for my books, especially the latest one. If you have read any of my books, a short review on Amazon or elsewhere would be much appreciated. Reviews are vital to us authors for finding new readers.

Have a good weekend.

New Release: The Gazebo Is Only 99p/99c

Sep 04 2020

My seventh book, The Gazebo, was unleashed on the world on Tuesday (Sep. 01). For a limited time only, it is only 99p/99c from all major retailers. The price will be raised next week. It is also available as a paperback.

Bawdily Brilliant Black Comedy

Two men’s lives are about to implode. Can they save themselves before it’s too late?

The first reviews are already up on Amazon US & Goodreads, and they’re good ones. As for the launch thus far, it has been a mixed bag. The enthusiasm shown by some of my ‘fans’ who have already read The Gazebo has been very encouraging. The apathy displayed by large sections of my mailing list, less so.

If you like dark humour you’ll love The Gazebo; and if you don’t you probably won’t. Have a good weekend.

The Links: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Goodreads, Kobo CA, Smashwords

The Gazebo – Release Imminent.

Aug 28 2020

My seventh book, The Gazebo, will be unleashed on the world next Tuesday (September 1st).

This darkly humorous, quick read (42k words) will be available in eBook and paperback form from all major retailers. I toyed with the idea of just opting for Amazon initially due to their potential incentives, but for better or worse decided against it in the end.

For a limited time only, The Gazebo (eBook) will be only 99p/99c. After a week or so a dollar/pound will likely be added to the price.

If you missed it, here is the back matter:

Click here to see The Gazebo on Goodreads.

Well, best be getting back to writing the next one. Have a good (extended if in UK) weekend.

Reading, Writing & Searing Heat

Aug 14 2020

It’s been unusually hot and humid in the UK of late, though it appears conditions will soon be returning to normal. It was 36C here the other day and it has been very sticky at night. Yesterday, while in the supermarket observing my fellow shoppers, I came to the conclusion that summer is the kindest time of year on the beautiful, the cruellest on those who are not.

The supermarket had rolled out some great deals on beer.

I opted for two Cobras and a Staropramen.

What with the heat, Trigga has been seeking the coolest places he can find.

He gave the postman a bit of a fright when he emerged barking from here.

Writer’s block is an ailment that affects many writers. This one is currently suffering from a bout. I have used some of the time to catch up with other stuff, including writing book reviews. It’s a labour of love but one I am adamant helps my writing. Six new book reviews will be appearing in the review section soon. I also ordered a couple of new books. Transgressive fiction and satire – two of my favourite genres.

I’ve been trying to mobilise some interest, from UK readers primarily, in the Necropolis Trilogy. A handful have taken the plunge.

With any luck some of them will be intrigued by my forthcoming darkly humorous book, The Gazebo (Release date: Sep. 01).

Have a good weekend.

Category - Promotion

Meals, Mangetout & More

Like this:

Mangetout Blurb Reveal

Like this:

Mangetout Cover Reveal & A New Blurb.

Escape to the future with this hilarious and thought-provoking read.

Like this:

The December Dark Fiction Bonanza.

Like this:

Food, Feasting, Fire & Free Fiction.

Like this:

A Scary Fun Book Bonanza

Like this:

Torrential Rain, Transgressive Fiction & Culinary Delights.

Like this:

New Release: The Gazebo Is Only 99p/99c

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The Gazebo – Release Imminent.

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Reading, Writing & Searing Heat

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Category - Promotion

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