Promotion | Guy Portman's Blog

Black Comedies, Book Reviews & More Besides

Dec 13 2019

It’s been nearly a week and a half since Golgotha, the final instalment in The Necropolis Trilogy, was unleashed on the world. The reviews have been impressive. Sales have not. But, on a positive note the release appears to have generated some interest in the first instalment in the darkly humorous trilogy – Necropolis. Early next year, I am planning to bring out a box set. There are already 10 glowing testimonials for Golgotha on Goodreads. Click here to read them.

On another subject, how’s your Christmas shopping going? It is said there are two types of people in this world – those who buy their Xmas presents early, and those who do it last minute. I fall into the former category. Before you say anything, this Pokemon duvet cover set isn’t for me, it’s for a young relative.

I have one more book to read in order to complete my modest Goodreads 2019 challenge of twenty books. This is it.

This weekend I’ll be catching up with my book reviews. It’s a real labour of love writing them, as it is a time-consuming business. However, I am of the firm belief that forcing myself to write succinct book reviews has improved my writing in general.

It hasn’t all been hard work. Here is a Five Guys I had earlier this week.

The below is called breakfast hash. Highly recommended, and a pleasant change from the standard English Breakfast.

I haven’t been the only one spoiling myself.

Have a good weekend.

Launch of Golgotha

Dec 06 2019

Golgotha had its launch earlier this week. The reviews for my darkly humorous crime novel have been glowing so far. There are already eight on Goodreads, and they are starting to filter through to Amazon too. If you like dark humour, you’ll love Golgotha.

Here are some of the retailer links (eBook & paperback): Amazon UK, Amazon US, Amazon Ca, Kobo UK, & Goodreads

And here is a reminder about the book.

You can’t keep a good sociopath down.

Dyson Devereux is languishing in prison awaiting trial for murder. Languishing wouldn’t be so bad were it not for the irksome inmates, crowded conditions and distinct lack of haute cuisine.

Only Alegra, his sometime paramour and frequent visitor, shares his desire to see him released. The problem is, she wants Dyson freed so they can start a new life together. But all Dyson desires is to get back home to his treasured mementos.

As judgement day draws ever closer, can Dyson keep up appearances long enough to win his freedom? And at what cost? For hell hath no fury like a sociopath scorned.

Golgotha is a funny, fast-paced crime comedy novel, boasting a sardonic and sinister sociopath at its helm.

“Sociopathic comedy at its best” — Adam Riley, Comedian

“Deeply dark and irresistibly funny. If you like dark humour, you’ll love watching Dyson unravel” — Sandra Seymour, Author

‘A devilishly wry read …’ – Goodreads Reviewer

‘A brilliant unpredictable end’ – Goodreads Reviewer

Golgotha is the final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy (#1 Necropolis & #2 Sepultura). As is the case with its predecessors, Golgotha can be read as a standalone novel.

Here is a short (467 word) extract, which I feel encapsulates the book’s dark tone. Click here to read it. Have a great weekend.

Golgotha: Only 4 Days To Go

Nov 29 2019

There are only four days to go until the release of my darkly humorous crime novel, Golgotha. The big day is next Tuesday (Dec. 03). Here is a short (467 word) extract, which I feel encapsulates the book’s dark tone. Click here to read it. The first reviews have now appeared on Goodreads, and they’re good. Click here to see the reviews.

You can’t keep a good sociopath down.

Golgotha is the final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy (#1 Necropolis & #2 Sepultura). As is the case with its predecessors, Golgotha can be read as a standalone novel. It will be available as an eBook and paperback.

‘A devilishly wry read …’ – Goodreads Reviewer

‘I’m very pleased to be the first person to review this book, because I’ve all good things to say about it’ – Goodreads Reviewer

‘A brilliant unpredictable end’ – Goodreads Reviewer

Click here to see Golgotha on Goodreads.

Click here to read the extract. Have a great weekend.

Necropolis Is On Sale – 99p/99c

Nov 22 2019

In the build up to the release of Golgotha (Dec. 03) and for a limited time (Today & Tomorrow), Necropolis is only 99p/99c (usual price: £2.99/$3.39). Available at all major retailers – Amazon US, Amazon UK, Barnes & Noble, Kobo & all the others. As is the case with the further instalments in my black comedy trilogy (#2 Sepultura & #3 Golgotha) #1 Necropolis can be read as a standalone novel.

What is a sociopath to do?

Dyson Devereux’s life appears to be on track. He has a way with the ladies, impeccable good taste, and as the recently promoted head of Burials and Cemeteries at Newton Borough Council, a job that demands request.

But Dyson is becoming annoyed with his drug-addled girlfriend’s decline, fed up with his banal work colleagues, and incensed by Newton New Cemetery’s gaudy memorial structures.

When Dyson suspects someone of having an even darker past than him, he has a chance for redemption. Will he seize it, or is his destiny to be a life of toil in Burials and Cemeteries?

Brutal, bleak and darkly comical, Necropolis is a savage indictment of the politically correct, health and safety obsessed public sector.

‘… a magnificent foray into the mind of a sociopath’ – DLS Reviews

‘The book is full of razor-sharp satire’ – Crime Fiction Lover

400+ Ratings on Goodreads

Grab your copy today and discover where it all began for your favourite sociopath, Dyson Devereux. Here are some of the retailer links – Amazon US, Amazon UK, Barnes & Noble, Kobo. Have a good weekend.

Another Week Bites The Dust

Nov 15 2019

Well, it’s Friday again. The week has had its up and downs like all weeks. The down has been a lingering cold; the ups have been several delicious meals, reading some good books and acceptance for a ‘BookBub New Release’ promotion for my forthcoming darkly humorous crime novel – Golgotha (release date: Dec. 03). Unlike with some of their other promotions, this type is for full price titles, and only runs in North America. If you haven’t read Golgotha’s excerpt yet, here is the link (467 words, <2 mins).

It has been cold here in West Sussex. Below is a photograph I took on my dog walk early one morning of a frost-covered field with a couple of deer in it.

Here is my dog stationed in the warmest spot in the house.

I had these scallops and chorizo at one of my local pubs on Wednesday.

And for dessert this. One never tires of chocolate brownies.

On another subject, I wrote a couple of book reviews this week. Click on the links to see my reviews of Papillon by Henri Charriere and Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut.

Next up is Geek Love by Katherine Dunn.

Have a good weekend.

A Peek Inside Golgotha

Nov 08 2019

There is only 24 days to go until the release of my darkly humorous crime novel, Golgotha (release date: Dec. 3). My maths is correct, right?

Today, I am pleased to unveil a short (467 word) extract, which I feel encapsulates the book’s dark tone. Click here to read it.

For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, here is the blurb:

You can’t keep a good sociopath down.

Click here to read the extract. Have a good weekend.

Fun, Furnishings & Frippery

Oct 25 2019

It’s Friday again. They seem to come around real quick. As for the ‘Friday Feeling’, it’s conspicuous by its absence here. Not that I’m complaining; I’ve had my fun for the week. While far from exhilarating, it was fun all the same. The fun:

1). The burger on Tuesday lunchtime.

2). A glimpse of sunshine in what has been an otherwise desolate stretch of weather for us UK inhabitants.

3). A conversation with an attractive female which might lead to more. ‘Illusion is the first of all pleasures’ – Oscar Wilde

We all indulge in labours of love, right? Well us writers certainly do; or the vast majority at least. One of my labours of love is writing reviews of every book I read. It’s a time-consuming process, but one I insist upon. I am currently behind on my reviews. Once the England vs All Blacks Rugby World Cup Semi Final ends tomorrow, I will start catching up on them. I have four to do. Here they are:

Moving on … I have been living without curtains for over two years. In their place, I have used drapes and/or towels cellotaped to the walls. This week my curtains finally arrived. Want to see them …? Probably not, but I’m going to show you anyway. Open …

Closed …

So, that’s the Furnishings part of this blog post’s title out of the way. As for the Frippery; they’re the ornate brass balls at the ends of the curtain rail. Have a good weekend.

Fiction, Food & Flooding

Oct 18 2019

The weather here in South East England has been absolutely wretched of late. Relentless rain, day in, day out. Well, we need it; so I’m told. Some of the roads around my way have flooded. Fortunately, last week I finally sold my little car and upgraded to one with 4-wheel drive capabilities, so I should be okay. She’s a Honda. We’re in that honeymoon stage in our relationship, when everything’s perfect.

With all this rain and the impending darkness as winter looms, one seeks solace in sugar. Or at least I do.

And feeding frenzies too. These pork ribs doused in a rich sauce were sumptuous.

In other news, I am finally back in the writing groove, for want of a better expression. Perhaps the writers amongst you are the same as me. When you don’t write for a while, it is difficult to get back into it, until it becomes part of one’s routine once again.

I am also in the process of seeking for reviews for Golgotha (release date: Dec.3) – the third instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy. Like its predecessors, the book can be read as a standalone novel. It promises to be the best part yet.

Will a sociopath get his way?

And I’ve been making time for some reading. Never read Oscar Wilde before. His humour appeals.

You have to make your own entertainment out here in the sticks. Fortunately, I’m an imaginative person. This is me trying to hypnotise my dog with a piece of spaghetti.

One more thing. My satirical book of vignettes is free at all retailers. This is probably where I’m supposed to insert a ‘for a limited time’ clause to persuade you guys to download it right away. Well, the chances are it will be free for a while so there’s no rush. If you were able to download a copy it would be great; if you actually read it even better; and leave a review; well in that case I would be in heaven. Have a good weekend.

Tomorrow’s World links (some of them at any rate) – Amazon US, Amazon UK, Kobo Ca, Kobo UK.

Golgotha Blurb Reveal

Oct 11 2019

My black comedy Golgotha will be unleashed on the world on December 3rd. Today, I am pleased to unveil the blurb, some early endorsements and more besides. The blurb:

You can’t keep a good sociopath down.

Golgotha is the final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy (#1 Necropolis & #2 Sepultura). As is the case with its predecessors, Golgotha can be read as a standalone novel. It will be available as an eBook and paperback.

Golgotha is now available for pre order as an eBook from selected retailers Here are the retailer links – Amazon US, Amazon UK, Kobo US, Kobo UK, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble.

Golgotha has recently been added to Goodreads. Click here to add Golgotha to your to-read list. Have a good weekend.

It’s That Friday Feeling

Sep 27 2019

No, that’s not for you …

It’s been a mixed Friday so far. On the plus side, I ate a delicious chicken wrap from the local Indian restaurant and scrawled out 1k words of what I am tentatively calling my work in progress. On a less positive note, I managed to put a massive crack in my computer screen. Having carried it successfully downstairs, I cracked it when putting it down on my desk. The crack puts in the shade the smaller crack the computer ‘repair’ shop made to it the other day. Considering the hell I gave them for their unprofessionalism, it seems only fair that I give myself a hard time too.

The good news is it still works. Here’s a breakfast I ate earlier in the week. England might have a poor culinary reputation, but you can’t beat English Breakfasts.

Like Dyson Devereux, the protagonist in the Necropolis Trilogy, I am a big fan of Italian delicacies. This week I indulged in a fair few.

These truffles (tartufo) proved to be particularly delicious.

I am also a fan of less sophisticated fare. Take the kebab I was poised to eat last weekend when the doorbell rang. On returning to the kitchen, I discovered my dog had eaten near on all of it save for a piece of tomato.

Is that the time? Best be getting to the supermarket. The fun never stops. Have a good weekend.

Category - Promotion

Black Comedies, Book Reviews & More Besides

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Launch of Golgotha

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Golgotha: Only 4 Days To Go

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Necropolis Is On Sale – 99p/99c

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Another Week Bites The Dust

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A Peek Inside Golgotha

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Fun, Furnishings & Frippery

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Fiction, Food & Flooding

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Golgotha Blurb Reveal

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It’s That Friday Feeling

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