If Authors Were Desserts

Have you ever thought that if so and so were a dessert they would be an apple strudel?

I have devoted 6 blog posts in recent years to authors and the desserts they/their writing corresponds to. Here are some of the highlights.


Stephanie Meyer


Meyer is a young-adult fiction writer responsible for the vampire romance series Twilight.

Corresponding dessert: Sponge Cake

sponge cake

Rationale: It might look like a cake, feel like a cake and smell like a cake, but on taking a bite one realises it’s mostly just air.


Bret Easton Ellis


Easton Ellis is a master of social commentary. Much of his writing features vapid, soulless characters.

Corresponding dessert: Lemon Sorbet


Rationale: This cold, astringent dessert isn’t for everyone. I rather like it.


Dan Brown


Brown has sold more than 200 million of his mystery/conspiracy novels.

Corresponding dessert: Ring-Shaped Donut


Rationale: These deep-fried treats are not only bad for the health, but they leave one feeling something’s missing.


Agatha Christie

Agatha Christie

English crime novelist Agatha Christie is the best-selling author of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Tunnock’s Teacake

Tea Cake

Rationale: One has to first unwrap the packaging and then bite through the outer layer to reveal what lies beneath.


E. L. James


Erotica novelist E. L. James is one of the World’s best-selling authors.

Corresponding dessert: Cheesecake


Rationale: Many, including yours truly, are of the opinion that cheese and cake should not be mixed.


Vladimir Nabokov


The intellectual Russian born Nabokov utilised an ornate prose style.

Corresponding dessert: Deconstructed S’more

Deconstructed Smores


Rationale: This sophisticated, deconstructed extravagance contains caramelised vanilla marshmallow, soft salted caramel and chocolate-coated cereal garnishes.


L. Ron Hubbard


The Scientology founder wrote numerous Sci-Fi and psychotherapy books.

Corresponding dessert: Waffle


Rationale: The content of Scientology’s doctrine.


Leo Tolstoy


Iconic Russian writer Tolstoy is best-remembered for his opuses Anna Karenina and War And Peace.

Corresponding dessert: Heavy Cake

Heavy Cake

Rationale: Heavy Cake is dense and requires a lot of chewing, but it tastes good.


Norman Mailer


Cultural criticism, controversy and obscenity were hallmarks of this volatile and violent  author.

Corresponding dessert: Fruitcake

Fruit Cake

Rationale: Self-explanatory


Sidney Sheldon

Sidney Sheldon

Chick lit/Thriller author Sheldon is the one of the best-selling authors of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Wafer


Rationale: With their primary ingredient being air, wafers won’t satisfy one’s hunger.












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