Tag - bad reviews of classics

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12 Hilarious One Star Book Reviews
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12 Amusing One Star Book Reviews

12 Hilarious One Star Book Reviews

Few things make me laugh more than hilarious one star books reviews.

Most books worth their salt have garnered at least a few godawful reviews. Often it is a case of the reviewer being opposed to the general consensus. In many instances bad reviews reveal more about the reviewer than the book.

Here is the latest instalment in my ‘One Star Book Review’ series.

1984 by George Orwell – ‘He (Orwell) doesn’t know a thing about the 80s. Not ONCE did he mention Def Leppard or Karma Chameleon.’

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone – ‘… my son cud not understand it. I also, cud not understand it.’

Lord of the Flies by William Golding – ‘answer me this- can you read a book where the author describes a twig for five pages???’

Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson – ‘DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK YOU WILL DIE FROM BOREDOM!!!’

1984 by George Orwell – ‘Go away book, go away.’

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – ‘… personally, I DO NOT agree with Harry Potter books.’

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens – ‘Twee, grisly and fawning, the greatest turkey ever told.’

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy – ‘…, if you see Anna for $5 at your neighbor’s garage sale, go ahead and buy it. Hollow it out, and stash a handgun in there … Beat your disobedient child with it. Put it in your fireplace … Just don’t read it!’

Sepultura by Guy Portman –‘I made it to page 17 and was done.’

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley – ‘… for the love of God don’t read that ‘Brave New World’ book by Hoxley. It’s twice as bad as 1984.’

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury – ‘Heyyyy I had to read this book for school and it was the worst thing I ever read.’

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald – ‘Twentieth Century Masterpiece, NO; 2 days of incrediably wasteful reading I will never get back.’

12 Amusing One Star Book Reviews

Back in July, I dedicated a post to hilarious one star book reviews. Here is the second instalment.

Most books worth their salt have garnered at least a few terrible reviews. Often it is a case of the reviewer being opposed to the general consensus. In many instances bad reviews reveal more about the reviewer than the book.

Here are 12 scathing, and in many instances amsuing one star book reviews.

Ulysses by James Joyce – ‘This book not only ruined a week at the beach but also damaged my self-esteem.’ 

East of Eden by John Steinbeck – ‘Recommended to me by someone I thought I could trust.’

The Lord of The Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien – ‘I couldn’t get past all the Hobbit gossip in the beginning.’

Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner – ‘Too many words. Just look at the title, it’s twice as long as it needs to be.’

Necropolis by Guy Portman – ‘I read the first 5 pages, which usually tells me if I will continue … that’s as far as I got.’ 

A House for Mr Biswas by V.S. Naipaul – ‘… much longer than ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’ 

The Road by Corman McCarthy – ‘If I wanted pompous discourse about the meaning of life, I’d read the New Yorker.’

The Railway Children by Edith Nesbit – ‘It drives me crazy how the railway station is so meaningful and important when it’s only visited, like, twice in the entire 188 pages. I went to the Brooklyn Public Library but people don’t call me ‘The Library Child.’

The Sea, The Sea by Iris Murdoch – ‘If I have to read one more simile-laden description of the sea I shall scream.’

Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut – ‘… maybe the problem is me.’ 

The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger – ‘And as for the ducks the protagonist is always asking about? They fly away because it’s winter, and they’re ducks. They’re migrating. It’s a bad symbol, and everyone in the book, including Holden, should understand migration. It’s no big secret.’

Lord of the Flies by William Golding – ‘If this book was a horse, I would shoot it!’

I hope you found these reviews entertaining. I will probably do a further instalment or two at some point. About me.

 

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