Black Comedy | Guy Portman's Blog

Golgotha Blurb Reveal

Oct 11 2019

My black comedy Golgotha will be unleashed on the world on December 3rd. Today, I am pleased to unveil the blurb, some early endorsements and more besides. The blurb:

You can’t keep a good sociopath down.

Dyson Devereux is languishing in prison awaiting trial for murder. Languishing wouldn’t be so bad were it not for the irksome inmates, crowded conditions and distinct lack of haute cuisine.

Only Alegra, his sometime paramour and frequent visitor, shares his desire to see him released. The problem is, she wants Dyson freed so they can start a new life together. But all Dyson desires is to get back home to his treasured mementos.

As judgement day draws ever closer, can Dyson keep up appearances long enough to win his freedom? And at what cost? For hell hath no fury like a sociopath scorned.

Golgotha is a funny, fast-paced crime comedy novel, boasting a sardonic and sinister sociopath at its helm.

“Sociopathic comedy at its best” — Adam Riley, Comedian

“Deeply dark and irresistibly funny. If you like dark humour, you’ll love watching Dyson unravel” — Sandra Seymour, Author

Golgotha is the final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy (#1 Necropolis & #2 Sepultura). As is the case with its predecessors, Golgotha can be read as a standalone novel. It will be available as an eBook and paperback.

Golgotha is now available for pre order as an eBook from selected retailers Here are the retailer links – Amazon US, Amazon UK, Kobo US, Kobo UK, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble.

Golgotha has recently been added to Goodreads. Click here to add Golgotha to your to-read list. Have a good weekend.

Another Week Bites The Dust

Sep 20 2019

It’s Friday again. They sure come around fast. Last week I unveiled the front cover for Golgotha (release: early Dec) the final instalment in my black comedy Necropolis Trilogy. If you missed it, here it is again.

On another subject, today I came across these three Roe deer on my morning walk.

They didn’t seem too alarmed by my dog and I. Evidently they were not aware of how keen on venison we are. Trigga was fixated on this tree in my garden for ages yesterday. Likelihood is a squirrel had gone up it, or it contains a late season pigeon nest.

The garden is still growing pretty quick, and having ignored it for a few weeks, the time has come to get back to work.

What with all the dog walking and gardening, I have been losing weight. So, it’s out with the healthy stuff …

And in with the high calorie fare. You can’t beat vegetable samosas and onion bhajis.

Three chocolate brownies down; two to go.

A book delivery arrived yesterday. It’s a good feeling receiving new books; if you’re a bibliophile like me that is. For the most part, my reading matter currently comprises the genres I write in; namely dark humour and Transgressive Fiction. While Dark Places doesn’t fit into those categories, it is dark fiction. I will be reviewing them here and on Goodreads in due course. All I need now is some bookshelves to store this ever-expanding reading matter.

A reminder that Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future is free at all retailers. My satirical book of vignettes finally received a decent batch of reviews on Amazon US this week. It appears my book is a bit like Marmite. People either love it or hate it.

And that’s it for this week. Have a good weekend. And if your nation is playing in the Rugby World Cup, I wish you the best of luck, unless your from Tonga that is.

Golgotha Cover Reveal

Sep 13 2019

Today, I am pleased to unveil the front cover for my forthcoming black comedy, Golgotha (release date: early December).

I am impressed with the design the team at Ebook Launch came up with. It captures the book’s tone perfectly. Golgotha is the final instalment in the popular Necropolis Trilogy. It will see the return of darkly humorous sociopath Dyson Devereux. I look forward to revealing the blurb and more besides in due course.

The first two instalments in the trilogy are #1 Necropolis & #2 Sepultura.

800 Ratings and Reviews on Goodreads

‘The book (#1) is full of razor-sharp satire’ – Crime Fiction Lover

‘… a magnificent foray into the mind of a sociopath’ – DLS Reviews

‘… a mix between The Office and American Psycho’ – Amazon Reviewer

If you like dark humour you’ll love the Necropolis Trilogy

Retailer Links (eBook & paperback) – Amazon US Amazon UK Kobo US Kobo UK Kobo CA Barnes & Noble Smashwords

Have a good weekend.

Sepultura Has A New Blurb

Sep 06 2019

As many of you are aware, the third instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy will be unleished on the world late this year (date to follow). The darkly humorous Golgotha will see the return of sociopath Dyson Devereux. I look forward to releasing more information in due course.

Today, I am pleased to unveil the new blurb for the second part in the trilogy. Those who have helped me modify the blurb for Sepultura are of the opinion that the new version better describes the book, particularly the conflict which lurks at the heart of it. And I agree with them. Here it is.

A sociopath’s work is never done.

Dyson Devereux is a busy man, with a challenging new job in the council’s Burials and Cemeteries department and a young son. Life should be fine.

But amid the mindless minutiae of his workplace, Dyson is fast losing patience with his crass colleagues and their contemptible clothes. Something’s got to give, and it’s not going to be Dyson.

Because unbeknown to those around him, beneath Dyson’s charming, Italian-delicacy-consuming veneer lurks something sinister. As his personal and professional lives threaten to spiral out of control, how long can Dyson keep his true nature under wraps?

Sepultura is a hilarious black comedy exposing the banality of public-sector bureaucracy.

“Hysterical. Takes dark humour to a whole new level” — Martin Allen, Author of Weed.

“A satirical gem” — Adam Riley, Comedian

Necropolis Trilogy retailer links – Amazon US, Amazon UK, Kobo US, Kobo UK, Kobo Ca

I know comments and likes aren’t functioning properly on this blog presently. I plan to rectify this soon. Have a good weekend.

The Necropolis Trilogy And More Besides

Aug 30 2019

Golgotha, the final instalment in my Necropolis Trilogy, is nearing completion. I am currently working on a blurb, which I look forward to sharing with you in due course. If you haven’t done so already, why not check out the first two darkly humorous offerings in the trilogy? Click here to see my books on Amazon.

What is a sociopath to do?

A sociopath’s work is never done.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed your summer (Northern Hemisphere) visitors. What with all the sun and rain, I have been besieged with gardening. It is now complete; that is until it grows again. This lawn was landscaped a few months back hence why it looks a bit patchy in places. But it’s coming along well, and I look forward to the day when it will be a pristine bowling green.

In other news, I have just finished my thirteenth book of the year – Papillon. The 600 page tome is about a man sentenced to life imprisonment in a penal colony in French Guiana. Review to follow. Perhaps you’ve read it or watched the film it inspired. Next up will be some dark humour. A batch of books are on their way.

My blog’s comments and likes etc. are still not working properly, which is annoying. But I will be migrating to a new website at some point in the not too distant future, so I am not going to try and rectify this fiddly issue for now.

Have a good weekend.

A Summer Freebie & A Big Announcement

Aug 09 2019

In today’s post, I will be reiterating what I told my newsletter subscribers on Wednesday. First up, it’s the big announcement. My forthcoming black comedy, Golgotha, will be released in the late autumn now, and not this summer as originally planned. This is because I have had a lot on my plate of late. The good news is that Dyson’s return will be well worth the wait. Golgotha is the final instalment in my darkly humorous Necropolis Trilogy. I look forward to showing you the front cover, blurb and more very soon.

And the good news doesn’t end there. I have a FREE book for you. It’s Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future. Click on the link below to download your FREE copy of my satirical book of vignettes (Mobi/ePub/PDF).

Click here to claim your FREE copy of Tomorrow’s World

Tomorrow’s World will soon be available for free on retailer sites, but this is your chance to get it before the rush. Have a good weekend. Happy reading.

English Summers, Black Comedy & A Reading Bender

Jun 07 2019

I woke up today to the wettest and most miserable June morning in living memory. To compound matters I was suffering from a wretched hangover. Having downed two Nurofen I headed out with my dog for our customary morning walk. No sooner had I exited my garden than I came across this deer with her two fawns.

When I got back I ate ‘The Breakfast of Kings’ otherwise known as a Bakewell Tart. It was the only readily eatable item in the house.

Now, partially recuperated I slumped down in front of my computer and commenced my working day. Meanwhile, Trigga took a morning nap.

My email was the bearer of good news. The last of my beta readers had got back to me. The feedback on Golgotha, the final instalment in The Necropolis Trilogy, is very promising. The black comedy series features sociopath and sometime public sector worker, Dyson Devereux. I will be releasing more information about Golgotha in due course.

While I was waiting for my beta readers to send me their reports, I indulged in a reading frenzy consisting of 7 books. They were good, bad and ugly. These were the good ones. Click on the links to read my reviews. The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami, The Road by Cormac McCarthy & Women by Charles Bukowski.

I’m not sure if any of you are MMA fans. If you are then you might be interested in these short pieces I was commissioned to write in the build-up to the big UFC event in Chicago on Saturday.

Five Things You Might Not Know About Tony Ferguson, Jessica Eye and Tatiana Suarez.

Have a good weekend.

Floods, Felling Trees, Black Comedies and Comfort Food

May 10 2019

Yesterday afternoon, I finished the second draft of my forthcoming novel, the black comedy Golgotha. It is the final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy, featuring darkly humorous sociopath Dyson Devereux. It is now in the hands of beta readers.

Having polished off the draft, I woke up in a cheery mood this morning, but a flood in my kitchen put an end to it. The dishwasher pipe is leaking, again. Last time I was able to stop it, this time I can’t. There is water everywhere, and only the plumber can save me now.

The best approach on failing to rectify a problem is to make a tactical retreat. After abandoning my efforts to hold back the flood, I sojourned to my study to drink coffee and eat Maltesers.

Here is a shot of some other indulgences from the week gone by.

It is quite noisy here today what with tree surgeons removing a tree in my garden. It was a case of nice tree, wrong place. Hopefully its demise will result in my house getting way more light.

The Council have permitted me to fell a couple of trees on the condition that I plant two new ones to replace them. I take my carbon footprint seriously, but I do not want more trees. The whole idea of getting rid of the trees was to have a less congested garden. I plan to get around the issue by planting bonsai trees.

There is the sound of crunching gravel. Someone is approaching. It better be the plumber and not another Jehovah’s Witness … Yes, I am in luck. It is time to go. Have a good weekend.

If you are looking for something to read, check out my soon to be completed Necropolis Trilogy. If you love dark humour, you’ll love Necropolis. And if you don’t, you probably won’t.

Click here to see the 155 ratings & reviews for #1 Necropolis and #2 Sepultura on Goodreads.

#1: What is a sociopath to do?

#2
A sociopath can only keep up a façade for so long.

‘The book is full of razor-sharp satire’ – Crime Fiction Lover

Random Ramblings, Pick & Mixes and Grass

May 03 2019

I am all about routine. Every morning when I awaken at seven, I have a walk in the woods by my house with my dog. There is no better time of day unless one is hungover. Of late, there have been plenty of sunny, idyllic mornings here in West Sussex. After a walk, I generally feel refreshed and ready to get on with my writing, or whatever I have to do that day.

My garden was recently landscaped. I scattered grass seed over it some weeks back, but despite there having been plenty of sun and some rain, it still resembles The Kalahari (see below). I was lamenting the lack of growth to a hippie I came across in the pub earlier in the week. He asked if I’d tried any ‘harvest prayers’. I said no, certainly not. He suggested that I might try the ‘very effective’ Mayan Prayer to the Seven Directions. Considering that the Mayan civilisation was decimated by severe drought, I think I will give it a miss.

Not a great deal else has happened to me this past week. Well actually, I had some vegetable samosas a few nights back. I am a carnivorous creature, but when it comes to samosas I am strictly vegetarian. They just don’t work with meat, at least not for me.

Some of my fondest memories from childhood entail Pick & Mix. And whenever I stumble across a Pick & Mix, I tend to be overwhelmed with nostalgia. On Monday when I went to the supermarket, I came across my first Lindor Pick & Mix.

I was unimpressed. While Lindor balls are not without their virtues, they are just too sickly and too similar to one another to justify a Pick & Mix devoted solely to them.

Gorging on Chocolate Bunnies & A Free Book

Apr 19 2019

There was a time when I didn’t eat chocolate during Lent. Now it’s all I eat.

I favour different types for different activities. While writing can be a rewarding experience, it can also be incredibly frustrating. And there is nothing more cathartic than biting the ears and/or head off a chocolate Lindt bunny. At least for me, anyway.

Initially, I purchased a pair of Lindt bunnies for young relatives for Easter, but I just kept eating them, and having to go back to the supermarket to get more.

When I am reading, I tend to be of a calm disposition. With the activity only requiring one hand, the other can be used to nibble on an old favourite, Cadbury Crème Eggs.

Here is the assortment of Easter chocolate I have bought for the big day.

And I have a Lindt bunny to see me through today’s writing. Currently, I am working on the third and final part in the Necropolis Trilogy. The black comedy series features the darkly humorous sociopath, Dyson Devereux. There is still time to download a free copy (offer ends Apr. 30). All you have to do is sign up to my monthly newsletter.

Click here to claim your FREE book

‘The book is full of razor-sharp satire’ – Crime Fiction Lover

‘… a mix between The Office and American Psycho’ – Amazon Reviewer

Happy Easter!

Tag - Black Comedy

Golgotha Blurb Reveal

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Another Week Bites The Dust

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Golgotha Cover Reveal

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Sepultura Has A New Blurb

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The Necropolis Trilogy And More Besides

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A Summer Freebie & A Big Announcement

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English Summers, Black Comedy & A Reading Bender

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Floods, Felling Trees, Black Comedies and Comfort Food

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Random Ramblings, Pick & Mixes and Grass

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Gorging on Chocolate Bunnies & A Free Book

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