Tag - quotes about writing

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13 Humorous Quotes About Writing
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20 More Quotes About Writing
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20 Quotes About Writing
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23 Quotes about Writing
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26 Quotes about Books, Reading and Writing

13 Humorous Quotes About Writing

This humour writer relishes humorous quotes about writing. Here are thirteen that have not previously appeared on my blog. Well, one them has, but I like it so much I am including it again.

If Moses were alive today he’d come down from the mountain with the Ten Commandments and spend the next five years trying to get them published. Anonymous

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory. – Franklin P. Jones

The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress. – Philip Roth

Long, hard slog today writing the Great American Tweet. (That was it…what do you think? Pulitzer?) – Greg Tamblyn

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.– Christopher Hampton

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. Doug Larson

Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness … – George Orwell

As far as I’m concerned, “whom” is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. – Calvin Trillin

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. – Tom Clancy 

I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.  Fred Allen

The only time I’ll get good reviews is if I kill myself. – Edward Albee

Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.  Flannery O’Connor

He does not so much split his infinitives as disembowel them. – Rebecca West

 

20 More Quotes About Writing

This week’s post is dedicated to 20 writing-related quotes that have not previously been featured on my blog.

To write, or to Netflix. That is the question – Kat Myley

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have “plans” – Mike Birbiglia

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it – Winston Churchill

The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering – Tom Waits

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere – S.J. Perelman

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous – Robert Benchley

Drowning in my own words with only a semicolon as a lifeboat – Jessica Baumgartner

I don’t need an alarm clock. My ideas wake me — Ray Bradbury, WD

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it — Elmore Leonard

An original writer is not one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate – François-René de Chateaubriand

He’d heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true – Terry Pratchett, Snuff

Not all writers are silently suffering inside. But it certainly helps – Joyce Rachelle 

Sadly, there are writers who wouldn’t know an umlaut from an omelet Kevin Ansbro

The only impeccable writers are those who never wrote – William Hazlitt

For writers it is always said that the first twenty years of life contain the whole of experience – the rest is observation – Graham Greene 

Writing romantic fiction is the second chance that loved ones denied us – Shannon L. Alder

Don’t break a writer’s heart and think ink won’t spill – Ming D. Liu 

Writer’s block’ is just a fancy way of saying ‘I don’t feel like doing any work today – Meagan Spooner

Writing should beguile us, not just take us from A to B to Zzzzz – Kevin Ansbro

Even on the silent days, believe your ship will come – Shana Chartier

 

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20 Quotes About Writing

Here are 20 writing-related quotes. I hope these will amuse and/or inspire my fellow writers.

You know you should be writing. Get off Twitter – Yvette Kate Willemse

Grammar, you’re the pickiest noun I know – Buffy Andrews

Writers, like teeth, are divided into incisors and grinders – Walter Bagehot

Pen-bereavement is a serious matter – Anne Fadiman 

Discipline is the bridge between a great idea and a completed novel – T. N. Suarez

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. I say its closer to 675 or 700 – A. E. Samaan

He carried a pencil that put a camera to shame – E. B. White

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind —Patrick Dennis

You cannot write unless you write much  – W. Somerset Maugham

Those who write are writers. Those who wait are waiters – A. Lee Martinez

The more you leave out, the more you highlight what you leave in – Henry Green

The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress — Philip Roth

Before publishers’ blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing – Laurence J. Peter

Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard – Daphne du Maurier

Not a wasted word. This has been a main point to my literary thinking all my life —Hunter S. Thompson

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory – Franklin P. Jones

The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair –  Mary Heaton Vorse

Writers don’t have lifestyles. They sit in little rooms and write –  Norman Mailer

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write – Saul Bellow

Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good – Dr. Samuel Johnson, to an aspiring writer

 

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23 Quotes about Writing

Here are 23 amusing and/or pertinent quotes about writing which might be of interest to my fellow authors and readers.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.W. Somerset Maugham

Write what you know. That should leave you with a lot of free time.Howard Nemerov

I hate writing, I love having written. Dorothy Parker

The scariest moment is always just before you start.Stephen King

The first draft of anything is shit.Ernest Hemingway

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.Douglas Adams

Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.Christopher Hitchens

A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn’t allow it to spoil your lunch.Kingsley Amis

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.A. J. Liebling

Poetic license is not a license to scribe recklessly.C. Kennedy

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it. ― Mark Twain

A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit.Richard Bach

If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write.Stephen King

Don’t get it right – get it WRITTEN! Lee Child

If you are in difficulties with a book, try the element of surprise: attack it at an hour when it isn’t expecting it.H.G. Wells

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.Jules Renard

In the end, you have to just sit down, shut up, and write.Natalie Goldberg

Tomorrow may be hell, but today was a good writing day, and on the good writing days nothing else matters.Neil Gaiman

The pen is mightier than the sword and considerably easier to write with.Marty Feldman

I love being a writer. What I can’t stand is the paperwork.Peter De Vries

Easy writing makes hard reading.Ernest Hemingway

As for the adjective, when in doubt leave it out.Mark Twain

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.Steve Martin

There will be a second instalment soon.

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26 Quotes about Books, Reading and Writing

I like quotes by famous authors so much that I Tweet one everyday, 365 days a year at @GuyPortman. Here are 26 memorable author quotes, many of which are humorous.

Never judge a book by its movie. J.W. Eagan

Few things in life seem more sexy than a banned book. Chuck Palahniuk

I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang. It’s so frightfully good I’ve never bothered to read another.Nancy Mitford

This Is Not a Novel To Be Tossed Aside Lightly. It Should Be Thrown with Great Force.Dorothy Parker

Pile of Books

The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.Oscar Wilde

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.Groucho Marx

Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you’ll die of a misprint.Markus Herz

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.Jerry Seinfield

I know many books which have bored their readers, but I know of none which has done real evil.Voltaire

No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one.Robert Byrne

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read. Mark Twain

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.P. J. O’Rourke

Quill

The Christian’s Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.Mark Twain

I was reading a book… ‘the history of glue’ – I couldn’t put it down. Tim Vine

Books are not made for furniture, but there is nothing else that so beautifully furnishes a house.Henry Ward Beecher

Books had instant replay long before televised sports.Bern Williams

Having your book turned into a movie is like seeing your oxen turned into bouillon cubes.John LeCarre

If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking.Haruki Murakami

Reading is a discount ticket to everywhere.Mary Schmich

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.Steven Wright

‘Classic.’ A book which people praise and don’t read.Mark Twain

So many books, so little time.Frank Zappa

Where would Jesus be if no one ever wrote the gospels?Chuck Palahniuk

There’s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.Flannery O’Connor

To hold a pen is to be at war. Voltaire

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.Groucho Marx

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