Reading | Guy Portman's Blog

The December Dark Fiction Bonanza.

Dec 25 2020

Happy Christmas everyone. I hope Santa brought you everything you wished for. If not don’t worry because I’ve got a present for you. But first I would like to share a picture of my Christmas Cake (Disclaimer: I didn’t make it). By the time you read this, it is probably half eaten.

I have teamed up with my fellow dark fiction authors to offer you a selection of 15 FREE dark fiction books. They include one of mine. The promotion ends on Sunday (27th).

December Dark Fiction Bonanza Link

All you have to do to claim your free book/s is to sign up to the given author’s mailing list. You can unsubscribe at any time. If you are already on my mailing list and want my title, just sign up again. I will remove any duplicates.

Happy Christmas and happy reading.

Winter Wonderland & Encroaching Christmas

Dec 11 2020

We are approaching Christmas and the end of what has been a wretched year for mankind. For us Brits we have the prospect of a no-deal Brexit to look forward to. So much for Johnson and Gove’s bravado. It appears to have been mere bluster. Things are looking bleak, in the short term at any rate.

As for me, I must confess that I have had a particularly unproductive week. It has consisted of online Christmas shopping, a trip to the clay pigeon school and a lot of day dreaming.

There is something enticing about the meek light of an afternoon winter’s sun.

When I go out for my morning walks, the moon has not yet gone to bed.

It’s misty in the woods when it has been raining.

The other day, I was looking out of my home office’s window when I noticed this remarkable sky.

Enough of the great outdoors. Let’s move on to TV remotes. Frequenters of this blog will be aware that only the other week I got a new ‘waterproof’ remote for my bathroom television. And now look at the state of it:

Might as well have used a non-waterproof one. A replacement is in the post I am told.

What a cozy spot.

I’ve been getting into the Christmas Spirit. It’s goose.

Hedging, Reading & More Besides.

Sep 18 2020

This week I have divided most of my time between writing, reading and hedging. The hedging is of the vegetation variety, as opposed to hedge funding. This form of hedging might not be as lucrative, but it’s probably more fatiguing.

Fortunately, my neighbour has been helping me. Otherwise it would be a Sisyphean task. Topping the hedge is going to have to wait until a suitable platform arrives from Amazon, as it’s just too high. I did briefly consider utilising a ladder. However, I came to the conclusion that using a chainsaw on a ladder probably isn’t a good idea.

The weight seems to fall off doing gardening, this despite the fact I have been drinking a few beers in the evenings.

This is my new washing machine. Two washes in and it’s working like clockwork.

It was nostalgic eating a ’99 Flake’ last weekend. I hadn’t had one in decades. They might not cost 99p anymore but they still taste just as good.

As for reading, it’s been typical fare of late. I recently finished this highly original satirical novel.

And I am currently reading this work of Transgressive Fiction.

Have a good weekend.

The 5 Books I’ve Read Recently

Aug 21 2020

The last few months I have been concentrating on my own writing (more on that next week). I am currently taking a short hiatus from my fiction writing and catching up with some other stuff, including reviews of books that I’ve read. Here are the five books that I have read recently. Three of them are my typical dark fiction/dark humour fare, while the other two aren’t. Click on the links to read my reviews.

Disaster Inc.

Disaster Inc is the first instalment in a series by former Irish stand-up comedian and successful television writer Caimh McDonnell.

My Review: Bunny McGarry is an Irishman in America on a mission to find someone. Hungover one morning, he is having breakfast at a diner, when …(more)

My Opinion: Funny but convoluted.

Six Days: How the 1967 War Shaped the Middle East

Through its numerous interviews, journalist Bowen imbues his account of the conflict with a personal touch.

My Review: Over a six-day period in 1967, Israel fought and defeated an Arab coalition consisting of Egypt, Jordan and Syria. Tensions had been …(more)

My Opinion: Interesting and too long.

My Sister, The Serial Killer

The intriguing premise, darkly humorous elements and dialogue-heavy content make for an enduring combination.

My Review: Twins Koredie and Ayoola are very different. Conscientious Korede is a senior nurse in a hospital while the beautiful Ayoola is …(more)

My Opinion: Lives up to the hype.

Walden

Walden, which comprises the vast majority of this book, is an account of the author’s two years living in the New England wilderness.

My Review: This Collins Classics publication consists of two works in one. The latter, Civil Disobedience, is a pamphlet-length, instrumental anarchist …(more)

My Opinion: Onerous yet rewarding.

Blood Meridian

Set in the 1800’s, Blood Meridian is an episodic book, which is almost unparalleled in its misanthropy and repugnant content.

My Review: ‘The Kid’ is a fourteen-year-old hailing from a Tennessean backwater. Following an ill-fated stint as a conscript in a …(more)

My Opinion: Bleak and exceptional.

Gardening, Beer, Reading & Lockdown Easing.

Jun 19 2020

Lockdown restrictions are beginning to ease and it seems things are returning to normal. This was made clear to me when I went to the supermarket this week and came across these Kleenex Originals. They are the first I’d seen in months. Was beginning to think Kleenex Originals had gone the same way as the dodo and woolly mammoth.

And that wasn’t the end of the supermarket’s pleasant surprises. This box of twenty-four Moretti was a mere twenty-three quid. What a deal.

I decided to make a daytrip of it, and also went to the gardening tool shop in addition to the supermarket. The protective shield bit had broken off on my brush cutter, and the lid for the scart socket keeps coming off, which has resulted in me getting sporadic electric shocks. A potentially catastrophic combination.

It transpires that it needs a new blade too. This is why cutting the garden has turned into a fulltime occupation. I had put it down to inefficiency on my part.

As for reading, I have just started a new book. This fiction writer needs a non fiction fix once in a while. It is proving to be interesting , but long.

Green tea and a Twix are an agreeable combination.

So is standard tea and a chocolate éclair.

Right, time to get going. My dog is waiting for his walk.

I’ve left Trigga out in the garden to scare off the pigeons. They keep eating my grass seed. Have a good weekend.

5 Things To Do During Lockdown.

May 01 2020

Lockdown continues to drag on here in the UK. Though there is light at the end of the tunnel, so we’re told. What with all the time people are spending at home, gardens have never had so much TLC. As it was raining this week, I took the opportunity to plant some hedges. You can pick the things up for peanuts at the moment. Planting my hedges entailed digging ninety holes.

And then it was time for the grass seed.

And then the wild flower seed.

Reading is a great way to wile away the time on lockdown. My current read is a morbid one.

I have been doing a lot of writing of late. My work in progress is a book of novella length, consisting of two darkly humorous tales, set for the most part in the upper echelons of English society. One of the tales has a supernatural theme.

Shopping was once a pleasure; it is now at best an inconvenience, at worst a nightmare. The queues to get into the supermarket are pretty horrendous and I try and stick to smaller shops. I’d been on the look out for these for over a month. If they didn’t come in a pack of six, this would constitute hoarding.

My fifth activity has been cleaning. Here is my dog sheltering on dry land after the floor was mopped.

Have a good weekend.

Covid-19 & The Great Outdoors

Apr 24 2020

The future has shifted from a promise to a threat. Who knows when this Covid-19 situation is going to blow over. It has to be soon, or the global economy is going to be a train wreck. Well, it is already come to think of it. As for me, I’ve been fortunate in that I can get outside, as I live in the countryside. Not that it’s all been enjoyment. Removing this stump was a living hell. It has been replaced with a hedging plant.

What with the Covid-19 situation, there are some good deals around, especially when it comes to hedging plants and gardening supplies in general it seems.

We’ve been fortunate to have had such glorious weather during lockdown, something you can’t take for granted here in the UK. Walking and unwinding in the woods has been a pleasure.

This tranquil setting (see below) proved to be the ideal place to ease coronavirus-related stress.

There is nothing quite as cathartic as water. Well opiates perhaps. But water is better for one’s health, and wallet.

What with all the gardening and writing I’ve been doing, I haven’t got as much reading done as I hoped. These two books will be devoured soon.

I’ve never considered myself a fan of sake, but this bottle was delicious.

As for book sales, it’s been a torrid period of late though there was a welcome smattering of sales of Necropolis (#1 Necropolis Trilogy) on UK Amazon this week.

Have a good weekend. Take care and stay safe.

Golgotha Blurb Reveal

Oct 11 2019

My black comedy Golgotha will be unleashed on the world on December 3rd. Today, I am pleased to unveil the blurb, some early endorsements and more besides. The blurb:

You can’t keep a good sociopath down.

Dyson Devereux is languishing in prison awaiting trial for murder. Languishing wouldn’t be so bad were it not for the irksome inmates, crowded conditions and distinct lack of haute cuisine.

Only Alegra, his sometime paramour and frequent visitor, shares his desire to see him released. The problem is, she wants Dyson freed so they can start a new life together. But all Dyson desires is to get back home to his treasured mementos.

As judgement day draws ever closer, can Dyson keep up appearances long enough to win his freedom? And at what cost? For hell hath no fury like a sociopath scorned.

Golgotha is a funny, fast-paced crime comedy novel, boasting a sardonic and sinister sociopath at its helm.

“Sociopathic comedy at its best” — Adam Riley, Comedian

“Deeply dark and irresistibly funny. If you like dark humour, you’ll love watching Dyson unravel” — Sandra Seymour, Author

Golgotha is the final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy (#1 Necropolis & #2 Sepultura). As is the case with its predecessors, Golgotha can be read as a standalone novel. It will be available as an eBook and paperback.

Golgotha is now available for pre order as an eBook from selected retailers Here are the retailer links – Amazon US, Amazon UK, Kobo US, Kobo UK, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble.

Golgotha has recently been added to Goodreads. Click here to add Golgotha to your to-read list. Have a good weekend.

Cakes, Beer & The Great Outdoors

May 24 2019

Currently, I am having work done to my roof. Due to the noise, I escaped to The Fens for a while. The waterway on the right is the Relief Channel. It was constructed in the 50s to take excess water from the Great Ouse river as and when necessary. For whatever reason few people venture out here, which makes it an ideal place for reclusive creatures such as myself.

After a two-hour walk along the Relief Channel we were feeling thirsty. My dog opted for water, me for lager.

I strongly recommend trying Moretti if you haven’t already. Italy might be better known for its wine, but the country produces great lager too.

They say variety is the spice of life. With that in mind I decided to forego my customary chocolate cake in order to try something different. The below is a coconut and lemon cake. It was good.

I didn’t forego my chocolate fix though. This is the chocolate brownie I had for dinner that night.

There is a famous butcher which I frequent whenever I go to Norfolk. It serves delicious, non-pretentious meat at reasonable prices. Vegetarians please avert your gaze.

I recently finished the second draft of my new novel, Golgotha. It will be the final instalment in my black comedy trilogy, Necropolis. I am taking a short break from writing before considering my beta readers’ comments and embarking on a third draft. Here are the books that I will be reading during my hiatus.

This is an ad I just had designed for Necropolis to go on BookBub. Necropolis is the first instalment in the black comedy trilogy of the same name featuring sociopath Dyson Devereux.

Have a good weekend.

That Friday Feeling

Nov 30 2018

I don’t know why I just gave my post the title, That Friday Feeling. Probably because I couldn’t think of anything else. This time last week I was lamenting Black Friday, and comparing it to the Black Death. This week, I want to mention another American invasive species. But, unlike Black Friday this one is most welcome on these shores. If you haven’t tried Five Guys already, I strongly suggest you do so, unless you’re vegetarian or vegan that is. Yesterday, whilst gorging on the below, I tried to put my finger on what is so great about Five Guys. I came to the conclusion it is the consistency of the burgers, which is quite unlike anything we in the UK have experienced before.

After my luncheon, I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to find my car in the carpark. This happens every time I go to the shopping centre. When I finally got home, I worked off some calories cleaning my floor. It looks spotless, if I say so myself.

Some good reviews have appeared on Goodreads and Amazon UK for my new book, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future. I could do with some on the US version of Amazon, but hopefully it’s merely a matter of time.

What with all the writing I’ve been doing, I have fallen behind with my reading. I have been rectifying that this week. Reviews of these three books to follow.

If you haven’t already read it, you might be interested in a free copy of my black comedy, Necropolis. Necropolis has been free on all major retailers for a while, but next week it will be re-joining the paid ranks. It is the first part of a proposed trilogy. The books feature meticulous sociopath, Dyson Devereux. The second instalment, Sepultura, was released earlier this year. The third part will be out some time in 2019. Have a good weekend.

Tag - Reading

The December Dark Fiction Bonanza.

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Winter Wonderland & Encroaching Christmas

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Hedging, Reading & More Besides.

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The 5 Books I’ve Read Recently

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Gardening, Beer, Reading & Lockdown Easing.

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5 Things To Do During Lockdown.

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Covid-19 & The Great Outdoors

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Golgotha Blurb Reveal

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Cakes, Beer & The Great Outdoors

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That Friday Feeling

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Tag - Reading

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