Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future

Mailing List Misery, Mobiles & More

Mar 26 2021

I finally bit the bullet and got a new iPhone. The one I had was ancient. Looking forward to taking and sharing photos with the new, improved iPhone 12 camera. None to show yet. But hope to have some good ones of Easter Eggs in time for next Friday. Here is the new phone.

For the last seven years or so, author gurus have been extolling the virtues of having a mailing list. Like most writers I have one; well three actually, all very modest in size. With the recent release of my new book, Mangetout, I did the logical thing and contacted my lists to announce the exciting news. I was under the impression that List One is comprised of readers with an interest in crime and/or darkly humorous fiction. Well, it seems I am mistaken and that the list consists of people living in north west London suffering from gluten allergies. I would have had more luck trying to sell them Lear jets than my 99c/99p book.

C’est la vie – time to bring out the big guns and move onto List Two. Now, I’m not sure who is on this list. Perhaps it is people who at school averaged a C in Trigonometry tests. A few of them took the plunge.

That left List Three. This list is reserved for people who prefer poached eggs to scrambled. A couple of them clicked the buy button.

My mailing list has undergone several Stalinesque purges, but evidently still consists mostly of Trotskyites, Capitalists, agitators and the bourgeois. What lessons are there to be learnt from the experience? According to someone I was talking to from the world of business, a mailing list that is not grown organically, ‘… is not worth its weight in manure, let alone gold.’

So, it is out with the giveaways and mailing list boost promos. I am going to try and stick to readers who have signed-up via the links at the back of my books.

In other news, I had a big free book promo for Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future. It hasn’t achieved much thus far apart from garnering some good reviews and ratings on Amazon.

Have a good weekend.

Amazon Link

‘This book will certainly have you turning the pages to see what happens next …’ – The Daily Squib

Food, Feasting, Fire & Free Fiction.

Nov 20 2020

We are in the midst of Lockdown #2 here in the UK and fun is in short supply. It’s wet, miserable and gets dark really early. Fortunately, there is still pleasure to be found. It had been a long time since I had scampi and chips.

Here is a Tesco-originating, Italian-themed antipasto I assembled earlier.

News of the birdfeeder has spread like wildfire. There are often multiple tits on the feeder at any given time with more waiting in the wings.

I’ll probably only fill it once a week. Otherwise it is going to become a financial burden.

After weeks of mild weather, there has been a cold spell. It was 1°C this morning.

The first fire of the season.

Presently, there is a KDP free day promotion running for my satirical offering – Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future. It is the only one of my books exclusive to Amazon. The five day campaign ends tomorrow (Saturday).

1,302 Amazon users downloaded Tomorrow’s World yesterday and it reached #37 Free in Kindle Store in Canada this lunchtime. Whether any of this means anything, only time will tell. Regardless, I am pleased that the book appeals enough for people to download despite the fact that it hasn’t got many reviews. Now I need them to read it.

Links: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon CA, Amazon AU

Have a good weekend.

Under Lockdown And Looking For Something To Do?

Apr 17 2020

If the answer to the headline is yes, I have a solution for you, albeit a temporary one. My book Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future is FREE on Amazon (Today & Tomorrow).

The future may not be bright but it’s hilarious.

(40,251 words/2.5 hours)

Links: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon CA, Amazon AU

‘The book will certainly have you turning the pages to see what happens next’ – The Daily Squib

‘… in Tomorrow’s World Guy has seen the writing on the wall. And it’s in emojis’ – Adam Riley (comedian)

Like all great visionary satires, the book takes our current foibles and obsessions to their logical, gruesome and absurd conclusions. And it’ll make you laugh out loud along the way.

‘I binge watched Black Mirror a while back and that show was ‘Dark Humour’ very much in the same vein’ – Goodreads Reviewer

Links: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon CA, Amazon AU

Let’s hope this Covid-19 induced lockdown blows over soon and everything returns to normal. Normal might not have been great but it beats this. Take care and stay safe.

6 Recommended Dark Fiction Books

Jan 10 2020

This week sees the return of my ‘Dark Fiction’ series. The following six dark fiction books made quite an impression on me. Admittedly, I might be a bit biased about one of them. Click on the links to read my reviews.

Child of God by Cormac McCarthy

Child of God is a tautly written and concise work of ‘country noir’. Themes include loneliness and necrophilia.

My Review: Having been dispossessed of his land, Lester Ballard is now homeless and eking out an existence in the backwoods of Sevier County, East Tennessee. For food, he steals and forages. For …(more)

Junky by William S. Burroughs

Junky is a record of its protagonist’s drug abuse that in addition to heroin includes a plethora of other substances.

My Review: Set in 1950s America and Mexico, Junky is a confessional novella about drug addiction. Its protagonist Bill Lee chronicles his drug-centred existence, which entails searching for his daily fix, scoring, and intravenous …(more)

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

This satire of the yuppies phenomenon of the 1980s adroitly explores the mind of a psychopath and questions the very essence of capitalist culture.

My Review: American Psycho is a highly controversial novel that brought its author Bret Easton Ellis instant fame. The book is written from the perspective of a young Wall Street financier …(more)

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

The Metamorphosis is a bleak, existential nihilistic tale that comments on the human condition and the futility of life.

My Review: Protagonist Gregor Samsa wakes up one morning to find that he has been transformed into a beetle. This awkward situation is exacerbated when Gregor’s boss turns up at his house seeking an …(more)

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

This dark psychological thriller’s suspense, unpalatable subject matter and reprehensible characters intrigued this reader.

My Review: Libby Day was only seven when she witnessed her family being brutally murdered in their Kansas farmhouse. It was Libby’s testimony that saw her then teenage brother Ben sentenced to life …(more)

Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales by Guy Portman

The book’s subjects encompass manic capitalism, extreme celebrity worship, virtual reality and a grotesquely ageing population.

Daily Squib Review: There’s something about the future that scares the shit out of people a lot, maybe it’s simply the thought of the unknown that affects us with such fear. What possible delights await us in …(more)

The Necropolis Trilogy And More Besides

Aug 30 2019

Golgotha, the final instalment in my Necropolis Trilogy, is nearing completion. I am currently working on a blurb, which I look forward to sharing with you in due course. If you haven’t done so already, why not check out the first two darkly humorous offerings in the trilogy? Click here to see my books on Amazon.

What is a sociopath to do?

A sociopath’s work is never done.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed your summer (Northern Hemisphere) visitors. What with all the sun and rain, I have been besieged with gardening. It is now complete; that is until it grows again. This lawn was landscaped a few months back hence why it looks a bit patchy in places. But it’s coming along well, and I look forward to the day when it will be a pristine bowling green.

In other news, I have just finished my thirteenth book of the year – Papillon. The 600 page tome is about a man sentenced to life imprisonment in a penal colony in French Guiana. Review to follow. Perhaps you’ve read it or watched the film it inspired. Next up will be some dark humour. A batch of books are on their way.

My blog’s comments and likes etc. are still not working properly, which is annoying. But I will be migrating to a new website at some point in the not too distant future, so I am not going to try and rectify this fiddly issue for now.

Have a good weekend.

A Summer Freebie & A Big Announcement

Aug 09 2019

In today’s post, I will be reiterating what I told my newsletter subscribers on Wednesday. First up, it’s the big announcement. My forthcoming black comedy, Golgotha, will be released in the late autumn now, and not this summer as originally planned. This is because I have had a lot on my plate of late. The good news is that Dyson’s return will be well worth the wait. Golgotha is the final instalment in my darkly humorous Necropolis Trilogy. I look forward to showing you the front cover, blurb and more very soon.

And the good news doesn’t end there. I have a FREE book for you. It’s Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future. Click on the link below to download your FREE copy of my satirical book of vignettes (Mobi/ePub/PDF).

Click here to claim your FREE copy of Tomorrow’s World

Tomorrow’s World will soon be available for free on retailer sites, but this is your chance to get it before the rush. Have a good weekend. Happy reading.

17 FREE Humour Books For You

May 17 2019

Once again, I have collaborated with my fellow humour authors to offer you a selection of FREE humour books. This time there are 17 to choose from. The deal includes my satirical book of vignettes, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future (40,251 words/2.5 hours reading time).

17 FREE HUMOUR BOOKS OFFER LINK

If you like dark humour and you are looking for a quick read, Tomorrow’s World could be the book for you. To get your FREE copy of mine and/or any of the other offerings, just click on the link and then click on the book cover you want. All you have to do to claim your FREE book (Mobi/ePub/PDF) is sign up to the given author’s mailing list. You can unsubscribe at any point. If you are already on my mailing list, please sign up again. I will delete any duplicates. So hurry while stocks last. Actually, they are eBooks so stocks will last, but the deal ends on May 28th and time is ticking.

17 FREE HUMOUR BOOKS OFFER LINK

‘… in Tomorrow’s World, Guy has seen the writing on the wall. And it’s in emojis’ – Adam Riley (comedian)

‘This book will certainly have you turning the pages to see what happens next …’ – The Daily Squib

6 Dark Humour Reading Recommendations

Feb 01 2019

Here are five darkly humorous books that I have read and one that I have written. Click on the links to read the reviews.

Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk

Haunted is a series of short stories, in which the author explores a variety of themes, including the media-obsessed nature of society.

My Review: Haunted is about a group of writers, who have been assembled by the conniving Mr Whittier to attend a writers group. The location of the retreat is in an isolated theatre with no access … (more)

The Blade Artist by Irvine Welsh

The complex and manipulative protagonist, sordid characters and squalid descriptions will appeal to fans of the Transgressive genre.

My Review: Reformed Scottish ex-con Jim Francis (formerly Franco Begbie) is now a successful sculptor living the dream in sunny California with his former prison art therapist now trophy wife …(more)

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

This satire of the yuppies culture of the 1980s adroitly explores the mind of a psychopath and questions the very essence of capitalist culture.

The Butcher by Nathan Burrows

This aptly named book is set in the English county of Norfolk. Topics comprise swine, cannibalism and illegal migrants.

My Review: Frank Pinch is a butcher, his brother Tom a pig farmer. The siblings have a problem. Their dilapidated family farm is struggling financially and under threat of closure due to …(more)

Knockemstiff by Donald Ray Pollock

Knockemstiff is a transgressive compilation of short stories. Topics include drugs, drinking, disease and sexual degeneracy.

My Review: These interlinked short stories are set in ‘The Holler’; an impoverished part of Knockemstiff, a real-life Ohioan backwater. ‘The Holler’s’ air is permanently imbued with the stench of …(more)

Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales by Guy Portman

The book’s subjects encompass manic capitalism, extreme celebrity worship, virtual reality and a grotesquely ageing population.

Tomorrow’s World & Black Friday

Nov 23 2018

My new book, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future, was released yesterday.

I am pleased and grateful that one of the UK’s biggest and most prestigious satire sites, ‘The Daily Squib’, have written a positive, amusing and extremely thorough review (14 paragraphs) of Tomorrow’s World on their website. Click here to read it.

If you like dark humour, you’ll love Tomorrow’s World.

As for me, I am currently holed up at home, trying to avoid Black Friday. It only seems a few years ago that Black Friday barely existed. Since then the virus has spread everywhere. It is currently contaminating the continent. The Low Countries offered no resistance, and as for France they have held out longer than they did against the Germans, but it is only a matter of time. Black Friday is spreading faster than the Black Death.

My advice – stay at home, keep the windows closed and the television off. I am not into yoga, but at times like this breathing exercises can help …

Click here to see Tomorrow’s World Goodreads Page.

Have a good weekend.

Tomorrow’s World: 6 Days To Go

Nov 16 2018

Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future is being released next Thursday, Nov. 22nd.

The future may not be bright but it’s hilarious

Here are some details about the book:

In England, Terrence finds himself disillusioned in a world of drudgery, compensation claim drones and a relentlessly rising retirement age. Across the pond, Walter has harnessed the power of age-defying medication in a bid to prosper indefinitely – at any expense. What could possibly go wrong?

40,251 words/2.5 hours reading time

Congratulations to the two winners of the Goodreads giveaway – Alexandria and Jessica. A first edition, signed copy will be posted to your US locations on Monday.

“Because in Tomorrow’s World, Guy has seen the writing on the wall. And it’s in emojis.” Adam Riley, Comedian

1140 readers have now added Tomorrow’s World to their Goodreads TBR list.

Here are a few short snippets from the book:

‘The fact that Paradise Pods have the same dimensions as a standard coffin is incidental,’ says the salesman, ducking to avoid the hurled teacup …

The interior of the rotorcraft erupts in vociferations of glee when the passengers catch sight of the white-tipped peak of Mont Blanc, Western Europe’s last remaining refuge for snow.

She cannot envisage ever swapping her early 1990s Benidorm experience for any of the other virtual-reality options available to her and her fellow retirees …

If you like dark humour, you’ll love Tomorrow’s World.

Tomorrow’s World will be available as a paperback & ebook from all major retailers.

Click here to see Tomorrow’s World Goodreads Page.

Tag - Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future

Mailing List Misery, Mobiles & More

Like this:

Food, Feasting, Fire & Free Fiction.

Like this:

Under Lockdown And Looking For Something To Do?

Like this:

6 Recommended Dark Fiction Books

Like this:

The Necropolis Trilogy And More Besides

Like this:

A Summer Freebie & A Big Announcement

Like this:

17 FREE Humour Books For You

Like this:

6 Dark Humour Reading Recommendations

Like this:

Tomorrow’s World & Black Friday

Like this:

Tomorrow’s World: 6 Days To Go

Like this:

Tag - Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: