UK Covid-19 pandemic | Guy Portman's Blog

5 Things To Do During Lockdown.

May 01 2020

Lockdown continues to drag on here in the UK. Though there is light at the end of the tunnel, so we’re told. What with all the time people are spending at home, gardens have never had so much TLC. As it was raining this week, I took the opportunity to plant some hedges. You can pick the things up for peanuts at the moment. Planting my hedges entailed digging ninety holes.

And then it was time for the grass seed.

And then the wild flower seed.

Reading is a great way to wile away the time on lockdown. My current read is a morbid one.

I have been doing a lot of writing of late. My work in progress is a book of novella length, consisting of two darkly humorous tales, set for the most part in the upper echelons of English society. One of the tales has a supernatural theme.

Shopping was once a pleasure; it is now at best an inconvenience, at worst a nightmare. The queues to get into the supermarket are pretty horrendous and I try and stick to smaller shops. I’d been on the look out for these for over a month. If they didn’t come in a pack of six, this would constitute hoarding.

My fifth activity has been cleaning. Here is my dog sheltering on dry land after the floor was mopped.

Have a good weekend.

Living With Covid-19

Mar 27 2020

I don’t have Covid-19, but Boris Johnson does. He’s suffering mild symptoms and is working from home. Tomorrow he might even be well enough to pop out to the supermarket for some ‘essential’ shopping.

It’s been a grim week for near on all of us. For me personally the magnitude of the coronavirus hit home when I heard that 3.3m Americans had filed for unemployment last week, and that 769 people had died in a single day in Spain from the disease.

As is the case with most people, I am concerned about finances. I’ve taken so much for granted, and now it may be gone. There’s a fair bit of work going on in my garden. Once it’s done, I’m battening down the hatches. The extension will have to wait – perhaps indefinitely.

How’s your self-isolation working out? I’ve been doing a fair bit of reading. I need my transgressive fiction at a time like this.

Gardening has also been on the agenda. The weather has been glorious here in the UK – sunny days and cold nights.

What a find …

Today, at lunchtime I went to the extortionately priced farm shop to get something for tea. It took nearly half an hour to gain entry due to only five people being allowed in at a time.

We are constantly being told that only ‘essential’ shopping should be taking place. Inside the farm shop, I found myself pondering whether octopus can be classified as essential.

Well, if you’re poised to perish from Covid-19, and don’t fancy being ransacked by the state for death-duties, £16.95 packs of octopus could be deemed ‘essential’.

One can’t have enough of the stuff.

Doggy has been enjoying some sunbathing. He’s been stoically coping with the Covid-19 lockdown, though he has not been impressed with the 20% picture quality reduction on Netflix. He has embarked on barking tirades whenever I switch it on.

There are far worse places to be for a stint of self-isolation than the countryside. I am really grateful to be able to get outdoors at a time like this.

As if searing heat, abysmal hygiene and grinding poverty aren’t bad enough at the best of times … Just imagine being in lockdown in a cramped Delhi hovel with three generations of your hand-to-mouth earning family. If you venture outside, you’ll face the wrath of the cane-wielding Delhi Police. I’ve only ever spent a few days in the city, but for some reason I keep imagining what the Covid-19 lockdown is like there, and other similar places.

I’ve sold a handful of my darkly humorous offerings this week, all on Amazon US for some reason.