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Alcoholic Authors I

Sep 20 2013

Many writers have had a dependence on alcohol. There has been much speculation as to the reasons why many writers drink so heavily. Perhaps in some instances it is due to the author’s solitary working habits or their pensive melancholy nature, in others maybe it is to obliterate bad memories or to increase confidence. This blog post is dedicated to two heavy drinking famous authors.

Ernest Hemingway

(July 21st 1899 – July 2nd 1961)

Notable works: The Sun Also Rises, For Whom the Bell Tolls, The Old Man & the Sea.

Ernest Hemingway is remembered as a pillar of American literature, a writer with a unique style, who won both The Pulitzer Prize for Fiction (1953) and The Nobel Prize in Literature (1954). The acclaimed author led an adventurous existence, travelling widely and marrying four times. Tragically the latter stages of his life were marred by mental deterioration, culminating in suicide in Idaho aged sixty-one.

The iconic writer was a notorious drinker for most of his life though he did not write whilst under the influence. Hemingway was so keen on drinking that writer Philip Greene was inspired to write, To Have & Have Another, a book devoted to Hemingway’s drinking habits. The author’s favourite beverage was said to be Mojito, which he insisted on having ice-cold. A number of alcohol related quotes have been attributed to Hemingway, perhaps most famously, ‘Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.’

William Faulkner

(September 25th 1897 – July 6th 1962)

Notable works: Light in August, Absalom Absalom!, The Sound and the Fury.

William Cuthbert Faulkner to give his full name is one of the most important writers in the history of American literature – winner of The Pulitzer Prize for Fiction twice (1955 & 1963) and The Nobel Prize for Literature (1949). His novel The Sound and the Fury is ranked by Modern Library as the sixth greatest English language novel of the Twentieth-century.

A lifelong heavy drinker, Faulkner, in contrast to many writers, liked to write under the influence – a bottle of whiskey, preferably bourbon was generally within arms reach. The author was notorious for his binge drinking and it was fortunate that he had a remarkable capacity for recovery. Whiskey was his first love, but he was also keen on wine and brandy. Faulkner’s favourite cocktail was a mint julep – a mix of bourbon, a teaspoon of sugar and a spring or two of crushed mint and ice. Faulkner once said, ‘Civilization begins with distillation.’

Click here to read resident book reviewer Adam’s review of Absalom Abaslom!

You might be interested in this revealing if rather lengthy article from The Guardian about why authors drink.

Posthumously Famous Authors IV

Sep 13 2013

This is the final instalment of the Posthumously Famous Authors series.

Henry David Thoreau

(July 12th 1817 – May 6th 1862)

Notable works: Civil Disobedience, Walden, The Works of Henry David Thoreau, Cape Cod.

An author, poet, philosopher, abolitionist, environmentalist and transcendentalist, the multi-dimensional Henry David Thoreau’s prodigious writing output consists of nearly twenty volumes of writing. Thoreau was well known as a transcendentalist, naturalist and ardent abolitionist during his lifetime and even succeeded in having two books published, neither of which were very popular. He famously self-published A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers, but only sold three hundred of the one thousand copies that he had printed.

It was only after Thoreau’s death in 1862, aged forty-four, from tuberculosis, that the respected but largely under-appreciated writer began to receive the attention that he deserved. The event that was to herald this transformation was the publishing of his journal in 1906. Thoreau’s works were to become increasingly popular over the course of the twentieth-century.

Today Thoreau is recognised as being one of the greatest writers America has ever produced. His views on politics and nature, in addition to his modern prose style having assured him of a place in history. Thoreau’s memory is honoured by The International Thoreau Society, which is both the largest and oldest society dedicated to an American author.

Edgar Allan Poe

(January 19th 1809 – October 7th 1849)

Notable works: The Raven, The Masque of the Red Death, Tamerlane & Other Poems.

Edgar Allan Poe was an author, poet, literary critic and editor who flirted with fame for much of his working life. If it were not for his rather premature death, the cause of which is debated to this day, with theories ranging from tuberculosis to rabies, Poe might indeed have become famous.

Poe relished the macabre, a reoccurring theme in much of his writing. Unfortunately there was little appetite for the genre during his lifetime. However he did achieve a degree of popularity though not financial success with his poem, The Raven. (Poe was reportedly paid $9 for The Raven, a very modest sum even in the 1840s).

Today Poe is remembered not only as being one of the earliest American practitioners of the short story, but is also generally considered to be the inventor of the detective fiction genre. Evidence of the writer’s endearing popularity is the fact that an original copy of Poe’s Tamerlane and Other Poems sold at Christie’s in New York for $662,500, a record price for a work of American literature.

Social Media Reflections

Sep 06 2013

Prior to the publication last year of my novel, Charles Middleworth, an insightful and humorous tale of the unexpected, my social media presence consisted of merely a Facebook profile with a couple of pictures (not of cats). Shortly before the book’s release I made a foray into Twitter and have since embraced a range of social media platforms. In this post I reflect on my social media observations to date:

Twitter – A little over seven years ago a Tweet was the sound emitted by a variety of small birds. Today Tweets are synonymous with only one bird, the blue Twitter bird; a bird that tweets incessantly 24/7. To date approximately 170 billion Tweets have been sent by 500 million Twitter users.

As my blog followers know I have become somewhat obsessed with Twitter and have devoted numerous posts to Twitter related subjects, ranging from studying the species that inhabit Twitter, to Twitter grievances including Justin Bieber and the ways in which authors sell books on Twitter.

Observation: The value of Twitter lies in the personal connections one makes, not in intrusive and counterproductive blanket promotional Tweeting.

Facebook – Facebook remains the behemoth of social media with over a billion users each month. Much of the promotional efforts on Facebook revolve around getting Likes for your given page/s. However the value of these Likes is more often than not derisory. Research suggests 99% of Facebook fans are worthless.

It is worth noting that Facebook only displays your posts to a small percentage of the people that have Liked your page. Facebook also charges users to promote their posts after reaching the 500+ Like threshold.

Observation: Not all Likes are equal. The value of a given Like is derived from its origin (i.e. authors require Likes from their target-readership not other authors).

Linked-in – The site’s 238m users take their jobs seriously and turn up smartly dressed and ready to network. They do not appreciate the ruckus of some other social media sites (i.e. Twitter) and expect decorum at all times. Self-promotion needs to be conducted with restraint. Some have argued that the platform’s obsession with stamping down on self-promotion has become overly aggressive of late (see this Forbes article). Personally I do not use the site a great deal but can occasionally be found at one its numerous groups dedicated to writers.

Observation: A great place to get advice and network with others, but remember that the party hat people might find amusing on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest will probably not go down well here. Oh and there is no need for those pictures of your cat – I don’t care if it is cute.

Goodreads – With 20 million members and 2.5 million reviews, goodreads is the place to be to network with readers. I find myself relishing this Bieberless enclave every time I visit. Goodreads is a place where one is able to concentrate on book related matters without being interrupted by scantily clad South-East Asian jail-bait promising to love you long time whilst trying to sell you thousands of Followers for $10.

Goodreads is an ideal place for authors to meet readers; readers being the key word. If one only socialises with one’s author friends on the site, then the whole dog chasing its own tail scenario starts all over again.

Observation: Etiquette is the key word with goodreads. Its users are fastidious in embracing social norms and will more often than not meet unsolicited friend requests and self-promotion with contempt.

Google+ – There is much evidence to suggest that the Google search engine matches search results with Google+. This is reason enough to join the 500m users in calling the place home. It was only recently that I turned up at Google+, bunch of flowers in hand. However I received no love, so I came back with a box of chocolates, but my efforts still went ignored. I am determined that one day in the not too distant future I will be viewed as a valued member of this increasingly influential community.

Observation: Backed by its big brother Google, Google+ is set to grow exponentially over the forthcoming years and may well be where the party will be at.

What happens when Adrian, an actuary, has his banal and predictable existence turned upside down by sinister forces that he can neither understand nor control? How will he react to a revelation that leaves his life in turmoil? Will he surrender or strive for redemption in an altered world, where rationality, scientific logic and algorithms no longer provide the answers?

‘An insightful and humorous tale of the unexpected’ – Reader

‘A sardonic delight. If Thackeray had lived in the 21st century, then he might have written Charles Middleworth.’ – Reader

Charles Middleworth is available through most regional Amazons on Kindle (£1.96/$3.17) and in paperback.

United Kingdom – www.amazon.co.uk

USA – www.amazon.com

Controversial Authors (Part 5)

Aug 30 2013

This is the final instalment of the Controversial Authors series. Initially I planned for the series to have only three parts, but there are so many authors that have been regarded as controversial through the course of history that I added an additional two.

Thomas Paine

(January 29th 1737 – June 8th 1809)

Notable works: Common Sense, The Rights of Man, The Age of Reason

Thomas Paine was a political activist, author, political theorist, revolutionary and one of America’s Founding Fathers. He arrived in America from England in 1774, just in time to participate in The American Revolution. Paine’s pamphlet, Common Sense (1776), sold an estimated half-a-million copies during the course of the revolution and is regarded as one of the most influential works of the eighteenth-century.

However when Thomas Paine died in 1809, his funeral was only attended by six people and his obituaries were universally scathing. Abraham Lincoln’s friends even burned a booklet he had written and over a hundred years after Paine’s demise, Theodore Roosevelt referred to him as a ‘filthy little atheist.’ If Paine had been martyred in The American Revolution there seems little doubt that his face would be gracing bills today. It was the controversy of his later writing, particularly The Age of Reason (1794) that were to seal his remarkable fall from grace.

In The Age of Reason Paine defended freedom against what he regarded as religious dogmatism, in the same manner that he had defended freedom against political tyranny during The American Revolution. The book was essentially a critique of The Bible, in which the author aired his own personal views on organised religion. These views were extremely controversial at the time of its publication and were to remain so over the forthcoming years. Though the author stated his strong personal belief in spirituality in the book, he was accused of being an atheist, something that was to cost what many view as his rightful place of honour amongst the The Founding Fathers.

Chuck Palahniuk

(Born: February 21st 1962)

Notable works: Fight Club, Haunted, Choke

Born in Pasco, Washington state, the American novelist and freelance journalist of Ukrainian descent, has constantly courted controversy with the content of his books; no mean feat in today’s era of tolerance. Palahniuk’s first novel, Invisible Monsters, a fictional story about a model who is shot in the face, was rejected by publishers for its disturbing content. His next effort, Fight Club, which remains to this day his most celebrated, saw the author attempt to be yet more controversial and scandalous than in his first effort. To Palahniuk’s surprise the book was published. It went on to become an international success, in no small part due to it being adapted for the big screen.

The film was extremely controversial at the time of its release in 1999, only six months after the Columbine school shootings. There had been much publicity over the perceived role of violent media in relation to the incident and Fight Club was viewed by many as glamourising violence. Real fight clubs soon began appearing throughout the United States and beyond, only adding to the furore.

Palahniuk’s dark and disturbing Fiction has continued to scandalise ever since. The short story, Guts, about masturbation accidents, contained in his book, Haunted, was met with such shock that people even passed out at public readings, only adding to the author’s notoriety. Haunted is often voted in polls as one of the most disturbing books ever written and has been banned along with the author’s other works in many schools. In Turkey, the translator of Palahniuk’s book, Snuff, was detained and interrogated by the police over what the authorities regarded as the book’s offensive content.

There seems little doubt that the author’s graphic depictions of violence and sex will cause more controversy, especially with further adaptations of Palahniuk’s books due for the silver screen in the near future.

Click on the links to read my reviews of Fight Club, Haunted and Damned and Adam’s (resident book reviewer’s) review of Survivor.

Click here to read Part 4 of Controversial Authors.

Controversial Authors (Part 4)

Aug 23 2013

I initially said that Part 3 of the Controversial Authors Series would likely be the final instalment, but I have since changed my mind. It seems fairly likely that there will also be a Part 5, possibly next week.

John Steinbeck

(February 27th 1902 – December 20th 1968)

Notable works: Of Mice and Men, The Grapes of Wrath, East of Eden

Born in Salinas, California, John Steinbeck went on to become a prolific novelist and short-story writer, and one of the most acclaimed literary figures America has ever produced. Steinbeck’s accolades include The Pulitzer Prize for Fiction (1940) and the Nobel Prize in Literature (1962).

Steinbeck was and still is, though to a lesser extent, regarded as a very controversial author. Arguably his greatest work, The Grapes of Wrath, has been banned by many school-boards down the years. The book was even burned on two separate occasions in the author’s home town of Salinas. According to The American Library Association, Steinbeck was one of the ten most frequently banned authors from 1990 to 2004.

The author’s left-wing leanings are a reoccurring theme in much of his writing. Steinbeck was very critical of capitalism and a supporter of unionisation, as witnessed in In Dubious Battle and The Grapes of Wrath. Unionisation was highly controversial at the time of their publication, as it was viewed by many Americans as being inherently communist, a label incidentally often levelled at Steinbeck himself.

Steinbeck’s most famous book, The Grapes of Wrath, is about a poor family of Oklahoma sharecroppers, the Joads, driven from their land during the 1930s’ Dust Bowl and The Great Depression. In The Grapes of Wrath, Steinbeck advocates for the under-privileged, concentrating on social injustice, poverty and criticism of the nation’s economic plight, something that was fiercely debated at the time of its publication and beyond.

Click on the links to read my reviews of In Dubious Battle, The Wayward Bus and Sweet Thursday.

George Orwell

(June 25th 1903 – January 21st 1950)

Notable works: Animal Farm, Nineteen Eighty-Four

Born Eric Arthur Blair in British occupied India, author and journalist George Orwell was interested in social injustice, opposed to totalitarianism and committed to democratic socialism; ideals that resulted in the author often courting controversy, something which appears to have appealed to the opinionated writer. So strongly was Orwell opposed to Fascism that he even volunteered to fight in The Spanish Civil War against the Fascists. His experiences there gave rise to his book, Homage to Catalonia (1938).

Orwell’s most famous work, Nineteen Eighty-Four, a book that warned of totalitarian censorship, has been viewed as controversial since its publication due to its themes of nationalism, censorship and sexual repression. The book was banned in Russia shortly after the translated version came out there, as it was deemed to be a thinly disguised attack on Stalin’s Soviet Union. Ironically however in 1981, parents in Jackson County, Florida, challenged that the book was ‘pro-communist’ and contained ‘explicit sexual content.’

Animal Farm, a blend of animal fable and political satire was finished in 1944, but so controversial was the subject matter that it was not published until more than a year later, so concerned were the British government that the content would offend the country’s communist allies. The book is widely viewed as being an attack on Stalin and his totalitarian rule. Not surprisingly Animal Farm was banned in Soviet countries due to its perceived political content. The book was often used for propaganda purposes by anti-communist factions in the U.S., something that concerned the author greatly.

It was not only his two most famous works that were viewed as being controversial. Orwell’s portrayal of the life of English industrial workers, particularly coal-miners, in his book, The Road to Wigan Pier, was regarded as such at the time of its publication in the U.K.

Click on the links to read my reviews of The Road to Wigan Pier and Down and Out in Paris and London.

Click here to read Part 3.

Posthumously Famous Authors III

Aug 16 2013

The following blog post is dedicated to two authors, who became famous after their deaths.

Emily Dickinson

(December 10th 1830 – May 15th 1886)

Born in Amherst, Massachusetts to a wealthy family, Emily Dickinson went on to become a prolific poet with over 1700 poems to her name. During her lifetime Dickinson had fewer than a dozen poems published, and it was only after her death that she became famous.

The very private nature of the poet is undoubtedly one reason for Dickinson’s lack of acclaim during her lifetime. By the late 1860s’ her reclusive habits included rarely leaving the house and even speaking to visitors from the other side of the door.

It was only after her demise when younger sister Lavinia discovered her poetry that family and associates realised just how prolific a poet she had been. The first collection of Dickinson’s poetry was published in 1890, though it was heavily edited. Between 1914 and 1918 nearly a dozen new editions were published and then in 1955 a completed collection of her poetry, The Poems of Emily Dickinson, was released. Interest in the poet’s work was to only increase with the passage of time. In 1981 The Manuscript of Emily Dickinson was published and then in 2001 her biography.

Today Emily Dickinson is remembered as an iconic poet and one of the most acclaimed American female writers of all time. Her poetry is studied in schools throughout the country and there was even a stamp to commemorate her in 1971.

Death and immortality are reoccurring themes in Dickinson’s poetry and it can be argued that she achieved the latter with her posthumous fame and place in the hearts of her nation’s readers.

Karl Stig-Erland ‘Stieg’ Larsson

(August 15th 1954 – November 9th 2004)

Notable works: Millennium Series

Larsson was known during his lifetime as a renowned journalist and an independent researcher. However at the time of his death, aged fifty in Stockholm of a heart-attack, after climbing the seven flights of stairs to his office, as the lift was not working, Larsson’s Millennium Series were unpublished manuscripts sitting in his house.

The first, published in Sweden in 2005, received The Glass Key Award for the best Nordic crime novel that same year. The book was published in The United Kingdom in 2008 under its English language title, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. The second part of the series, published in Sweden in 2006 is known in the English speaking world as The Girl Who Played with Fire. The following year the final instalment was released, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets’ Nest.

The trilogy saw the author achieve incredible success and posthumous fame. In 2008 Larsson was the second highest selling author in the world and in 2010, USA Today’s author of the year. The Millennium Series has gone on to be adapted for film and television. Hollywood sequels to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, starring Daniel Craig, are in production, and will likely see interest in the series increase yet further. To date about sixty million copies of the Millennium Series have been sold worldwide.

Click here to read Part II.

Amazon’s Assault

Aug 09 2013

Amazon emerged victorious from the ‘Ebook Wars’, their fleet of multi-attack Kindles establishing virtual air dominance, decimating Barnes and Nobles’s woefully under-equipped Nook to such an extent that the company announced in June that they would no longer be manufacturing them.

The world is now being ravaged by ‘The Pricing Wars’. Recent battles have included vigilante book retailer Overstock counter-attacking Amazon with a massive bestselling hardcover title discounting offensive, the likes of which the world has never before witnessed.

One suspects that this kamikaze act by Overstock is nothing more than a courageous but futile last stand that will result in inevitable surrender. Amazon’s victorious army could soon be marching vast lines of defeated Overstock foot soldiers to what some have made out to be the gulags of the 21st Century, Amazon warehouses. There have been accusations that poor treatment and tortuous work conditions are endemic in these tax avoidance enclaves. Others have argued that Amazon has provided a valuable boost to the economy by bringing employment to these former desolate areas, an example being the erection of an Amazon work camp warehouse in remote Chattanooga, Tennessee, where President Obama recently gave a speech.

This is not an isolated incident of defiance from the publishing industry in the face of Amazon’s prolonged assault. From the smoking rubble of their bricks and mortar business, two former foes, Penguin and Random House have formed an alliance to fight the Axis under their new flag, Penguin Random House.

The rhetoric from the the publishing industry and anti-Amazon consumers alike is that Amazon’s attack on their holy city of literature is personal, but in reality it is anything but. Amazon’s autocrat Jeff Bezos is by many accounts not the personal type. Former Amazon subordinate Steve Yegge described Bezos as being a;

“hyper-intelligent alien with a tangential interest in human affairs.”

(Courtesy of www.commerce.wa.gov.au)

Whatever Bezos’s true nature it can appear to the neutral observer that Bezos has a particular disliking for bricks and mortar; the shattered remnants of the high street bears testimony to this. Many would no doubt not be surprised if Bezos’s disdain for bricks and mortar extended to him rejecting housing in favour of living in a pod.

Amazon may well have waged war against the publishing industry, but it is no different to what they have done with the music and film industries. Pricing wars are the order of the day with these too, with discounts of up to 69% on many popular film and television series DVDs.

It is generally considered to be ill-advisable to bite the hand that feeds you and with Amazon’s food delivery service, Amazon Fresh, extending their venture from Seattle to Los Angeles it appears only a matter of time before they will be doing exactly that.

(Click to read Amazon Part 1 and Part 2)

Amazon’s Asian Expansion

Aug 02 2013

“The empire on which the sun never sets” was a phrase often used to describe the British Empire of the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, but it would be just as apt to describe surging retailing super-power Amazon’s global empire. The Amazon land grab continues to gather pace with the recent announcement of further invasion plans, including the expansion of the Android based Appstore into nearly 200 countries (previously was only the USA, UK, Germany, Italy, Spain and Japan). Heavily armoured versions of the all conquering super-sonic Amazon Kindle, the Kindle Fire HD and Kindle Fire HD 8.9 are set to be deployed in a further 170 countries.

With America and Europe close to submission, Amazon has its long range ballistic missiles pointed eastwards towards Asia. It is apparent that Amazon has very different strategies to gain control of the two continental power-houses, China and India.

With regards India Amazon has utilised a siege mentality. They have sat back and waited patiently whilst India’s own domestic online retailers (e.g. Myntra, Flipkart & Jabong) have fought hard to win over the country’s reluctant online consumers. It appears only a matter of time before Amazon commences a full ground assault, their tanks running roughshod over the gains made by these guerrilla armies. Amazon’s recent launch of Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing in India can be viewed as a strategic base from which total subjugation of the country appears inevitable.

China will be hoping that they are buffered from Amazon’s global expansion by Tibet (a word you won’t find on Amazon.cn). At present Amazon controls less than 1% of the Chinese e-commerce market and many strategists are of the opinion that it will be prove to be very difficult for Amazon to penetrate the Great Wall of China and expand their empire eastwards. Neutral observers have pointed out that Amazon’s efforts may be curtailed by their deal to provide $600m worth of cloud computing services to the CIA, something which one suspects has not exactly endeared them to the Chinese authorities.

(Courtesy of www.wpdailythemes.com)

Whilst China’s rapidly expanding navy has been accused of being aggressive in regional maritime disputes with its smaller neighbours, they will find the Amazon fleet a very different proposition.

There is no doubt that Amazon’s autocrat Jeff Bezos, a man described by google engineer Steve Yegge as having a ‘giant brain’, will have carefully planned his empire’s expansion eastwards. Not only are China and India the most populace nations on the planet with fast growing economies, but Indians are currently the world’s most avid readers, averaging 10.42 hours a week, with China in third place with 8 hours. Amazon has a history of using literature as a decoy to lure its unsuspecting victims into purchasing other consumer items such as televisions and washing machines. It seems inevitable that this strategy will be deployed once again.

To be continued.

Click here to read Part 1.

Posthumously Famous Authors II

Jul 26 2013

The following blog post is dedicated to two authors, who became more famous after they died.

Franz Kafka

(July 3rd 1883 – June 3rd 1924)

Notable works: The Trial, The Castle, Amerika, Contemplation, The Metamorphosis

Franz Kafka is today regarded as one of the greatest European writers of the 20th Century. Born in Prague in what was then The Austro-Hungarian Empire, Kafka did not find fame during his lifetime and what little of his writing was published received only scant attention from the public. Kafka, though always committed to his writing, spent his days working in a variety of roles in the insurance sector and later, managing a family-owned asbestos factory.

The author, who had suffered bad health for many years met his demise when a bout of laryngeal tuberculosis left him being unable to eat because of the pain, resulting in Kafka starving to death in Vienna in 1924.

Posthumous fame came quickly for the German language author when the first of his three novels, The Trial, was published a year after his death in 1925. The following year, The Castle was published and the third of Kafka’s novels, Amerika, followed in 1927. The author’s reputation has only increased over time and his insights into the human condition are viewed by many as being amongst the most poignant of any writer.

Sylvia Plath

(October 27th 1932 – February 11th 1963)

Notable works: The Bell Jar, Ariel, The Collected Poems

The Boston born American writer studied at Cambridge University and later wed British poet Ted Hughes. Sylvia Plath was well regarded as a poet during her short-life, examples of her early success included winning The Glascock Prize for poetry in 1955. In 1960 Plath’s first book of poems, The Colossus, was published.

Plath, who had a history of depression, committed suicide in 1963 by poisoning herself with carbon monoxide, in her own kitchen. Much controversy surrounded her death, with some claiming that Plath had not meant to kill herself, whilst others, particularly feminists blamed Hughes, Plath’s husband, claiming that he had been abusive.

Death did nothing to stop the writer’s growing popularity and respect from the literary establishment. Her semi-autobiographical novel The Bell Jar, published a month before her death in the UK, was published in the US in 1971 and went on to achieve critical acclaim. In 1982 Plath won the coveted Pulitzer Prize posthumously for The Collected Poems and then in 1985 her letters, titled Letters Home: Correspondence 1950 -1963 were published.

There is no doubt that Sylvia Plath’s premature death brought her much attention and was a major factor in her becoming something of a martyr to the feminist movement. However her lasting legacy is that today she is regarded as one America’s greatest ever female writers.

Click here to read Posthumously Famous Authors part 1.

Tormenting Twitter Types (Part 2)

Jul 19 2013

Anyone who follows my blog knows that I have an emotional attachment to social media. Though Twitter will always be my first love, I have recently started seeing Google+ and must confess to becoming somewhat infatuated with her. Though I have devoted many posts to confessing my love for Twitter, this post (one of a series) is dedicated to Twitter grievances.

Repeater Tweeters – We have all come across accounts that repeat Tweets over and over again, often multiple times per day. These Tweets contain a link, nearly always have at least some capitalisation and more often than not the syntax remains if not the same, virtually identical. I am talking about the:

REVEALED – OBAMA IS A COMMUNIST!!!!! – obamacommunist/q2

What can the revelation be, I asked myself, clicking on one of these type of Tweet links. Perhaps Obama has just been photographed by the paparazzi on the beach on his summer holidays, sporting a full-back Karl Marx portrait tattoo, with additional Communist Manifesto quote tattoos coiled around his limbs. However the information transpires to be nothing more than the when Obama was at college he allegedly had a sandwich or smoked one of those things he used to smoke, with someone who had left-wing tendencies variety. We are not living in the McCarthy era anymore.

There are others too

LEARN the TRICK discovered by a MOM to TURN YELLOW TEETH WHITE for UNDER $5!!!!! – whiteteethmom/q7

White teeth – It seems the whole world wants them now. If you do too, try going to a dentist or buy toothpaste with whitener from a supermarket, do not go on Twitter and click on one of these links. Not only will your teeth be turned black and your credit card details seized, but you will live to regret the day you were born. Maybe this is a bit of an exaggeration, but not much.

(Courtesy of Siliconangle.com)

SMUT SPAMMERS – Porn is everywhere on the internet or so I am told. Millions of sites are dedicated to pornography and it is only a click away. There are sites dedicated to all tastes, apparently. Not only is this Tweeting practice reviled by many, but there is also a case for arguing that it is unlikely that people would go on Twitter to look for pornographic content. These Tweets vary from the relatively innocent:

Check out Bella’s h*** t*** bellaporn/q6

To claims of remarkable feats such as:

Watch Jemma take 2 c**** in the a** at the same time buttqueen/q9

The links above aren’t real by the way.

Inept English Language Tweeters – I tried to make the name of this type of tormenting Twitter Type begin with the same letter or ideally rhyme, however I failed to achieve this. Considering these Tweeters Tweeting habits perhaps this is appropriate. Most of us have probably come across Tweets like:

#BLI^M $$$ MI$MIZ – GN$Z!!!! SHO%TZ W^^DZ???? C$@KZ!!!!

Admittedly English has digressed from its original form as it has travelled around the world and been embraced by different cultures, but do Tweets of this nature really make much sense to anyone. One hopes not and if they do, the end of the world is surely not far away.

Click here to read part 1.

AUTHOR GUY PORTMAN'S BLOG

Alcoholic Authors I

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Posthumously Famous Authors IV

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Controversial Authors (Part 5)

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Controversial Authors (Part 4)

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Posthumously Famous Authors III

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Amazon’s Assault

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Amazon’s Asian Expansion

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Posthumously Famous Authors II

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AUTHOR GUY PORTMAN'S BLOG

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