This is the final instalment of my Bizarre Books Series. As with Parts 1 & 2, I have added pithy/fictitious comments below each.
For residents of Chernobyl and Fukushima.
They do? So why did my mother always tell me not to talk to them?
For those of us who spreading it on our toast is not enough.
A Pulitzer Prize for Fiction winner this is not.
‘What’s that leaning against the wall?’
‘My DIY coffin.’
‘But you don’t need a DIY coffin, you’re not dead.’
‘Better to get it done early. DIY coffins are pretty tricky to assemble post-mortem.’
If the client complains behead them. Then impale the head on a pike. Don’t forget to polish their teeth first.
Presumably not a lot then.
Step One: Take the saw, hold it to the top of your head, and away you go — SsSsSsSsSs.
Joy? — Needle, thread, skin. Really?
You mean to tell me that gnomes are not only the height of bad taste, they also attack.
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I am the author of the satirical black comedy, Necropolis.
Click here to read Bizarre Books Part II.