Bizarre Books III

This is the final instalment of my Bizarre Books Series. As with Parts 1 & 2, I have added pithy/fictitious comments below each.

The New Radiation Recipe Book

radiation

For residents of Chernobyl and Fukushima.

 

Strangers Have The Best Candy

strangers

They do? So why did my mother always tell me not to talk to them?

 

The Book of Marmalade

marmalade

For those of us who spreading it on our toast is not enough.

 

I Can Has Cheezburger?

cheezburger

A Pulitzer Prize for Fiction winner this is not.

 

Do It Yourself Coffins for Pets and People

coffin

‘What’s that leaning against the wall?’

‘My DIY coffin.’

‘But you don’t need a DIY coffin, you’re not dead.’

‘Better to get it done early. DIY coffins are pretty tricky to assemble post-mortem.’

 

Managing a Dental Practice: The Genghis Khan Way 

dental

If the client complains behead them. Then impale the head on a pike. Don’t forget to polish their teeth first.

 

Everything I Know about Women I Learned from My Tractor

tractor

Presumably not a lot then.

 

The Do It Yourself Lobotomy

lobotomy

Step One: Take the saw, hold it to the top of your head, and away you go — SsSsSsSsSs.

 

The Joy of Uncircumcising!

uncircumcising

Joy? — Needle, thread, skin. Really?

 

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack

gnome

You mean to tell me that gnomes are not only the height of bad taste, they also attack.

 

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Necropolis

Click here to read Bizarre Books Part II.

 

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