Guy Portman's Blog

10 Farcical Religious Books

This week sees the third and most likely final instalment in my bizarre religious books series. Here are 10 religious-themed books. I have added pithy/fictitious comments below each.

 

Behold Now Behemoth: Dinosaurs All Over the Bible!

I can only assume the author is confusing The Bible with Jurassic Park.

 

A Potato That Wasn’t A Christian

So what if a potato wasn’t a Christian. Potatoes are tasty regardless of their religion, unless they are Sikh. There are few things less appetising than a roasted turban.

 

Born-Again Virgin

To be a born-again virgin follow these simple steps.

Step one: Get a needle and thread.

 

Liar, Liar, Mullet On Fire: Extinguishing Lies We Believe with God’s Truth

No prizes for guessing who the target readership of this book is.

 

If God Loves Me Why Can’t I Get My Locker Open

Because you forgot the key.

 

The Homosexual god and The Children of Satan

There is one sure way to make your book invisible on online book retailers. Make the cover completely black.

 

It’s a sin to be fat 

Is it still a sin if the fatness is not a result of gluttony or sloth, but an under-active thyroid? I guess I will have to read the book to find out.

 

Great Dinosaur Mystery and the Bible  

Not those pesky dinosaurs again.

 

When Catholics Die: Eternal Life or Eternal Damnation? 

Eternal life unless they write books with tasteless, purple front covers.

 

BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and Also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!! 

Amen!

 

 

 

 

 

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