Promotion | Guy Portman's Blog

17 FREE Humour Books For You

May 17 2019

Once again, I have collaborated with my fellow humour authors to offer you a selection of FREE humour books. This time there are 17 to choose from. The deal includes my satirical book of vignettes, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future (40,251 words/2.5 hours reading time).

17 FREE HUMOUR BOOKS OFFER LINK

If you like dark humour and you are looking for a quick read, Tomorrow’s World could be the book for you. To get your FREE copy of mine and/or any of the other offerings, just click on the link and then click on the book cover you want. All you have to do to claim your FREE book (Mobi/ePub/PDF) is sign up to the given author’s mailing list. You can unsubscribe at any point. If you are already on my mailing list, please sign up again. I will delete any duplicates. So hurry while stocks last. Actually, they are eBooks so stocks will last, but the deal ends on May 28th and time is ticking.

17 FREE HUMOUR BOOKS OFFER LINK

‘… in Tomorrow’s World, Guy has seen the writing on the wall. And it’s in emojis’ – Adam Riley (comedian)

‘This book will certainly have you turning the pages to see what happens next …’ – The Daily Squib

Floods, Felling Trees, Black Comedies and Comfort Food

May 10 2019

Yesterday afternoon, I finished the second draft of my forthcoming novel, the black comedy Golgotha. It is the final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy, featuring darkly humorous sociopath Dyson Devereux. It is now in the hands of beta readers.

Having polished off the draft, I woke up in a cheery mood this morning, but a flood in my kitchen put an end to it. The dishwasher pipe is leaking, again. Last time I was able to stop it, this time I can’t. There is water everywhere, and only the plumber can save me now.

The best approach on failing to rectify a problem is to make a tactical retreat. After abandoning my efforts to hold back the flood, I sojourned to my study to drink coffee and eat Maltesers.

Here is a shot of some other indulgences from the week gone by.

It is quite noisy here today what with tree surgeons removing a tree in my garden. It was a case of nice tree, wrong place. Hopefully its demise will result in my house getting way more light.

The Council have permitted me to fell a couple of trees on the condition that I plant two new ones to replace them. I take my carbon footprint seriously, but I do not want more trees. The whole idea of getting rid of the trees was to have a less congested garden. I plan to get around the issue by planting bonsai trees.

There is the sound of crunching gravel. Someone is approaching. It better be the plumber and not another Jehovah’s Witness … Yes, I am in luck. It is time to go. Have a good weekend.

If you are looking for something to read, check out my soon to be completed Necropolis Trilogy. If you love dark humour, you’ll love Necropolis. And if you don’t, you probably won’t.

Click here to see the 155 ratings & reviews for #1 Necropolis and #2 Sepultura on Goodreads.

#1: What is a sociopath to do?

#2
A sociopath can only keep up a façade for so long.

‘The book is full of razor-sharp satire’ – Crime Fiction Lover

Gorging on Chocolate Bunnies & A Free Book

Apr 19 2019

There was a time when I didn’t eat chocolate during Lent. Now it’s all I eat.

I favour different types for different activities. While writing can be a rewarding experience, it can also be incredibly frustrating. And there is nothing more cathartic than biting the ears and/or head off a chocolate Lindt bunny. At least for me, anyway.

Initially, I purchased a pair of Lindt bunnies for young relatives for Easter, but I just kept eating them, and having to go back to the supermarket to get more.

When I am reading, I tend to be of a calm disposition. With the activity only requiring one hand, the other can be used to nibble on an old favourite, Cadbury Crème Eggs.

Here is the assortment of Easter chocolate I have bought for the big day.

And I have a Lindt bunny to see me through today’s writing. Currently, I am working on the third and final part in the Necropolis Trilogy. The black comedy series features the darkly humorous sociopath, Dyson Devereux. There is still time to download a free copy (offer ends Apr. 30). All you have to do is sign up to my monthly newsletter.

Click here to claim your FREE book

‘The book is full of razor-sharp satire’ – Crime Fiction Lover

‘… a mix between The Office and American Psycho’ – Amazon Reviewer

Happy Easter!

20 Free Humour Books For You

Apr 05 2019

I have collaborated with my fellow humour authors to offer you a selection of 20 FREE humour books. The deal includes my black comedy, Necropolis. All you have to do is sign up to the given author’s mailing list to receive your free book. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Humour Book Giveaway Link

Necropolis is the first instalment in a proposed trilogy. The second part, Sepultura, was released last year. Part 3, Golgotha, will be unveiled later this year. This darkly humorous collection feature sociopathic protagonist Dyson Devereux. Necropolis has 105 reviews and ratings on Goodreads. Click here to view them.

Humour Book Giveaway Link

Have a good weekend.

6 Dark Humour Reading Recommendations

Feb 01 2019

Here are five darkly humorous books that I have read and one that I have written. Click on the links to read the reviews.

Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk

Haunted is a series of short stories, in which the author explores a variety of themes, including the media-obsessed nature of society.

My Review: Haunted is about a group of writers, who have been assembled by the conniving Mr Whittier to attend a writers group. The location of the retreat is in an isolated theatre with no access … (more)

The Blade Artist by Irvine Welsh

The complex and manipulative protagonist, sordid characters and squalid descriptions will appeal to fans of the Transgressive genre.

My Review: Reformed Scottish ex-con Jim Francis (formerly Franco Begbie) is now a successful sculptor living the dream in sunny California with his former prison art therapist now trophy wife …(more)

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

This satire of the yuppies culture of the 1980s adroitly explores the mind of a psychopath and questions the very essence of capitalist culture.

My Review: American Psycho is a highly controversial novel that brought its author Bret Easton Ellis instant fame. The book is written from the perspective of a young Wall Street financier …(more)

The Butcher by Nathan Burrows

This aptly named book is set in the English county of Norfolk. Topics comprise swine, cannibalism and illegal migrants.

My Review: Frank Pinch is a butcher, his brother Tom a pig farmer. The siblings have a problem. Their dilapidated family farm is struggling financially and under threat of closure due to …(more)

Knockemstiff by Donald Ray Pollock

Knockemstiff is a transgressive compilation of short stories. Topics include drugs, drinking, disease and sexual degeneracy.

My Review: These interlinked short stories are set in ‘The Holler’; an impoverished part of Knockemstiff, a real-life Ohioan backwater. ‘The Holler’s’ air is permanently imbued with the stench of …(more)

Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales by Guy Portman

The book’s subjects encompass manic capitalism, extreme celebrity worship, virtual reality and a grotesquely ageing population.

Daily Squib Review: There’s something about the future that scares the shit out of people a lot, maybe it’s simply the thought of the unknown that affects us with such fear. What possible delights await us in …(more)

Beat The January Blues

Jan 25 2019

Just a quick reminder about my ongoing FREE humour book promotion (ends Jan. 31). I have teamed up with some fellow UK humour authors to offer you a selection of 19 FREE humour books. The offer includes one of mine. Click on the link below to discover which of my humorous offerings it is, and to view the other hilarious options, consisting of comedy novellas, short stories, and a few full reads.

BEAT THE JANUARY BLUES FREE BOOK LINK

Click on the book cover you want and follow the instructions to receive your free book/s (Mobi/ePub/PDF) and to sign up to the given author’s mailing list. You can unsubscribe at any time. If you want my book and are already on my mailing list just sign up again, please. I will delete any duplicates.

As for me, I have been working hard on the final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy. The books feature erudite sociopath, Dyson Devereux. Golgotha is due to be released later this year. If you haven’t read the first two instalments yet, why not check out the Goodreads pages for Necropolis and part 2, Sepultura. Have a good weekend.

19 Free Humour Books For You

Jan 18 2019

I have teamed up with some fellow UK humour authors to offer you a selection of 19 humour books for FREE. The offer includes one of mine. Click on the link below to discover which of my humorous offerings it is, and to view the other hilarious options, consisting of comedy novellas, short stories, and a few full reads. They are available for free for a limited time only. All you have to do is click on the book cover you want and follow the instructions to receive your free book/s (Mobi/ePub/PDF) and to sign up to the given author’s mailing list. You can unsubscribe at any time.

BEAT THE JANUARY BLUES FREE HUMOUR BOOK LINK

I will be contacting my ever-expanding mailing list with this fantastic offer in due course. But if you are already on it and want a free copy of my satirical ‘masterpiece’, drop me an email to info@guyportman.com with Yes in the subject line, or just Y if you’re too busy for the other two letters. Otherwise click on the link below and locate my book cover in the selection.

Have a good weekend.

BEAT THE JANUARY BLUES FREE HUMOUR BOOK LINK

My Plans For 2019

Jan 04 2019

Happy New Year everyone.

‘May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.’ – Joey Adams

This, my first blog post of 2019, is about my plans for this year. With regards writing, I plan to release my sixth book later this year. I released two in 2018 (Sepultura & Tomorrow’s World). Golgotha will be the third and final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy. It will feature suave sociopath Dyson Devereux. The first part, Necropolis, has 100+ reviews on Goodreads. Part two, Sepultura, was released last year. If you like dark humour you’ll love the Necropolis trilogy.

A sociopath can only keep up a façade for so long.

Sepultura Goodreads link.

As for other plans, I have some freelance writing work to get on with, and then there’s the reading. Here are a couple of books I want to read this year.

If you are looking for some more reading recommendations and you haven’t seen it already, check out – The 20 books I read in 2018. I have written a review of each. Happy New Year.

That Friday Feeling

Nov 30 2018

I don’t know why I just gave my post the title, That Friday Feeling. Probably because I couldn’t think of anything else. This time last week I was lamenting Black Friday, and comparing it to the Black Death. This week, I want to mention another American invasive species. But, unlike Black Friday this one is most welcome on these shores. If you haven’t tried Five Guys already, I strongly suggest you do so, unless you’re vegetarian or vegan that is. Yesterday, whilst gorging on the below, I tried to put my finger on what is so great about Five Guys. I came to the conclusion it is the consistency of the burgers, which is quite unlike anything we in the UK have experienced before.

After my luncheon, I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to find my car in the carpark. This happens every time I go to the shopping centre. When I finally got home, I worked off some calories cleaning my floor. It looks spotless, if I say so myself.

Some good reviews have appeared on Goodreads and Amazon UK for my new book, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future. I could do with some on the US version of Amazon, but hopefully it’s merely a matter of time.

What with all the writing I’ve been doing, I have fallen behind with my reading. I have been rectifying that this week. Reviews of these three books to follow.

If you haven’t already read it, you might be interested in a free copy of my black comedy, Necropolis. Necropolis has been free on all major retailers for a while, but next week it will be re-joining the paid ranks. It is the first part of a proposed trilogy. The books feature meticulous sociopath, Dyson Devereux. The second instalment, Sepultura, was released earlier this year. The third part will be out some time in 2019. Have a good weekend.

Tomorrow’s World & Black Friday

Nov 23 2018

My new book, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future, was released yesterday.

I am pleased and grateful that one of the UK’s biggest and most prestigious satire sites, ‘The Daily Squib’, have written a positive, amusing and extremely thorough review (14 paragraphs) of Tomorrow’s World on their website. Click here to read it.

If you like dark humour, you’ll love Tomorrow’s World.

As for me, I am currently holed up at home, trying to avoid Black Friday. It only seems a few years ago that Black Friday barely existed. Since then the virus has spread everywhere. It is currently contaminating the continent. The Low Countries offered no resistance, and as for France they have held out longer than they did against the Germans, but it is only a matter of time. Black Friday is spreading faster than the Black Death.

My advice – stay at home, keep the windows closed and the television off. I am not into yoga, but at times like this breathing exercises can help …

Click here to see Tomorrow’s World Goodreads Page.

Have a good weekend.

Category - Promotion

17 FREE Humour Books For You

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Floods, Felling Trees, Black Comedies and Comfort Food

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Gorging on Chocolate Bunnies & A Free Book

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20 Free Humour Books For You

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6 Dark Humour Reading Recommendations

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Beat The January Blues

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19 Free Humour Books For You

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My Plans For 2019

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That Friday Feeling

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Tomorrow’s World & Black Friday

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