books | Guy Portman's Blog

Emergence Blog Tour

Feb 25 2023

A blog tour for my latest novel is commencing on Monday. If you like darkly humorous crime, you’ll love Emergence.

The Blurb:

There’s no stopping this young sociopath.

Teenager Horatio hates his mother’s boyfriend, and there is nothing his long-suffering single mum or half-sister can do about it. The tension soon boils over into school when he attacks the class bully.

While suspended, Horatio has plenty of time to plot revenge against the man he holds responsible for all his problems. It won’t take the adventurous adolescent long to stumble across a depraved and degrading solution.

Now all he needs to do is keep deceiving the psychiatrist and wait for an opportunity to strike.

This suspenseful story will appeal to aficionados of psychological fiction and darkly humorous crime.

Please consider adding Emergence to your TBR. Emergence Goodreads Link.

Squid, Siamese, Sweets, Staropramen & Swifts.

Oct 08 2021

I do like alliteration, at least when it comes to blog posts. The Squid in the title refers to the Korean Netflix series ‘Squid Game’. Half the world is watching the show at present, as am I. The most memorable part for me was the cookie cutting game. Never would have thought cookie cutting could be so fraught.

‘Siamese Twins’ is the book I am poised to start, but just haven’t quite got around to yet. 2021 has not been a prolific reading year thus far.

Now for the sweets. Are you a fan of cheesecake? For some reason I was under the impression I couldn’t stand the stuff. That all changed when I tucked into this specimen complete with icing.

Starting the day with a nougat pastry is not the norm. However, last Saturday was an exception.

Staropramen is a Czech beer, which is often sold quite cheaply in the supermarket despite it being what could be described as a premium beer. You’ve probably had it before. It’s pretty good.

Time for the swifts. These swifts stopped off by my house on their migration south. At least I think they are swifts, they’re not swallows. They were here last year too. It surprises me that they spend so much time flying about. One would have thought they’d use the time to rest, unless of course they are training for the long journey ahead.

Have a good weekend.

3 Good Books I Read Recently

Sep 24 2021

I am away this Friday, so I have scheduled this book-related post in my absence. Here are three good books that I have read recently. Click on the links to read my reviews. While these are all very different books, they all contain dark themes.

The Crossing by Cormac McCarthy

This poignant, compelling and depressing bildungsroman-type novel is imbibed with an apocalyptic tone. The Crossing is the second instalment in The Border Trilogy.

My Review: Billy is a hardy sixteen-year-old living in rural New Mexico. One day he finds a she wolf caught in a snare. Having opted against shooting it, he attempts to return the animal to her …(More)

Dead Men’s Trousers by Irvine Welsh

Themes include drugs, sex, drinking and music. The familiar band of reprobates, hilarious antics and incisive Leith vernacular more than compensate for the dearth of plot.

My Review: The Trainspotting crew are back for another adventure. These days Mark Renton is a successful manager of DJs. Begbie is a famous artist, living the dream in California. Sick Boy hasn’t changed much …(More)

American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins

This fast-paced and suspenseful book adeptly weaves the oft-told Central American migrant tale with human interest, in the form of a mother and son.

My Review: When Lydia’s journalist husband and family are murdered by a cartel, she and her eight-year-old son are forced to flee Acapulco. The pair embark on an epic journey north to the US, where the …(More)

It’s That Friday Feeling

Sep 10 2021

The week has flown by, can’t believe it is the weekend already. We’ve had something of an Indian summer here in southern England. It’s over now, but was nice while it lasted.

With the lack of rain, my pond has become covered in toxic green coloured algae again. Looks like something out of Ghost Busters.

Trigga waiting for his afternoon walk.

Another day, another green tea served in my Italian 90′ Panini mug.

I am still reading Razor Girl. Looking forward to finishing it and moving on to my next read, which will be this.

Wednesday was the final day of the Indian summer. It seemed the perfect time to sweat off the cornettos and Haagen-Dazs I’ve been consuming of late. So we went for a run.

I was recently given this piece of gym equipment. It fits perfectly in the corner of the garage.

In other news, I have a new headline for my book, Tomorrow’s World.

The Future Is Here. And It’s Absurd.

Links: Amazon US, Amazon UK.

Have a good weekend

Misanthropic Ramblings

Sep 03 2021

If I had as many interactions with people as I do deer, I would be considered a sociable creature. Take this morning for instance. Was barely out my garden when I stumbled across these three. Fortunately, deer don’t comment on the weather or I’d be sick to death of them by now.

And here are yesterday’s.

And Wednesday’s.

You get the point. Admittedly, some of them are no doubt the same deer. My dog doesn’t chase these deer (roe) if I tell him not to. The muntjack (little deer – invasive species from the Far East) are a different story. Muntjack are like a red flag to a bull for Trigga.

Here is an arboretum I visited last weekend. Note the fencing around the trees. It’s to stop the deer eating them.

Here is a shot of my desk. My summerhouse cum office is proving to be a tranquil working environment. I have written 1.5 books so far this year. Of course rewriting may be necessary.

Currently, I am reading a crime caper by Carl Hiassen, the famous humour author. It is proving to be something of a revelation, having never read any of his books. I think I prefer more subtle humour. It’s laid on a bit thick for me, though I appreciate how easy to read his writing is, and the pacing is impeccable.

Have a good weekend.

8 Palahniuk Novels Reviewed.

Aug 06 2021

Here are eight Chuck Palahniuk books that I have read. Click on the links to read my reviews.

Choke

Choke is in essence a social commentary about our innate craving for attention and the fundamental nature of addiction.

My Review: The protagonist, Victor Mancini, is a sex addict employed at an eighteenth-century historical re-enactment park. Victor attends various sexual addiction support groups, where he …(more)

Damned

Damned is a a light-hearted satire of hell, punctuated with comical details, pop-culture references and Theological irony.

My Review: The protagonist is thirteen-year-old Madison, the daughter of wealthy alternative parents. The privileged Madison studies at an exclusive Swiss boarding school and spends her holidays alternating …(more)

Doomed

After escaping from Hell Madison Spencer (protagonist of Damned) is forced to spend a year languishing on Earth as a ghost.

My Review: Doomed is the sequel to Damned and part two of a proposed Dante inspired trilogy. It sees the return of Damned’s protagonist – the plucky, post-life, plump, periphrastic … (more)

Fight Club

The book’s narrator becomes friends with an anarchist by the name of Tyler Durden. The duo form a fight club.

My Review: The protagonist, who remains nameless, is an insomniac leading a bland corporate existence, investigating accidents for a car company, whose only concern is profit … (more)

Haunted

This series of short stories explore a variety of themes, including the media-obsessed nature of society.

My Review: Haunted is about a group of writers, who have been assembled by the conniving Mr Whittier to attend a writers group. The location of the retreat is in an isolated theatre with … (more)

Invisible Monsters

The book’s premise, the superficial vanity of the beauty industry, is used both to explore the unattractive side of human nature.

My Review: Shannon McFarland is a catwalk model, who is the centre of attention wherever she goes. That is until she ‘accidentally’ blasts her jaw shot off with a gun whilst driving down the highway. Shannon is left …(more)

Rant

Rant challenges our own traditions by demonstrating how we contort our recollection of events in accordance with our desires, motives and beliefs.

My Review: Rant is the oral history of Buster ‘Rant’ Casey, recounted by an array of people including his relations, friends, enemies and lovers. Rant’s childhood companions from the …(more)

Survivor

Survivor is an innovative and erudite social commentary, brimming with satirical observations and irreverent humour.

My Review: Tender Branson, the last survivor of the Creedish Church cult, has hijacked an aeroplane, which is now flying on autopilot. His objective: to dictate his life story onto …(more)

Fauna, Feasts, Feathers, Fiction & Flora

Jul 16 2021

I’m really getting into this whole alliteration thing. Not sure titles of this ilk are effective in driving traffic to my blog, but c’est la vie. Let’s begin with the fauna. Yes, it’s another photo of a deer. The best to date in my opinion.

Anyone else like vegetable samosa? They’re one of my favourites, and this is coming from a carnivore. Consumed the rest of the Indian takeaway before taking any photos, so this shot of the samosas will have to suffice.

I was surprised to find this gargantuan feather in my garden. There are no birds sporting feathers that big to be found here, unless there’s an ostrich hiding somewhere. I assume it was shed from a passing heron, or was carried in by crows, who have a habit of collecting random things. The trainer is included as a point of comparison.

Here is Trigga inspecting our new bit of garden. It was only sown recently. It has grown quickly what with all the rain there’s been. It’s a bit patchy though and will need some more seed after its first mow.

Of late, I have had the misfortune of reading some rather poor books. However, I am poised to begin this controversial novel. It has received praise and condemnation in equal measure. You’ve probably heard of American Dirt.

Time to baptise the new lawn. Have a good weekend.

4 Good Books I Read Recently.

May 14 2021

I haven’t got much to report on this week, so it’s back to my tried and trusted topic that is reading. Here are four good and very different books I’ve read recently. Click on the links to read my reviews.

All The Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy

Set during WWII, this moving and at times suspenseful novel is a bildungsroman-type story with nihilistic undertones.

My Review: Texan teenager John Grady’s family farm is poised to be sold. As a result, he decides it is time to leave for pastures new. The enterprising adolescent and close friend Rawlins set off for …(More)

Submission by Michel Houellebecq

Submission is an eminently readable, if somewhat pretentious novel. It boasts seductive prose, a satirical undertone, and a touch of melancholy.

My Review: The 2022 French Election sees the Front National defeated by the Muslim Fraternity, who have formed a coalition with another party. Overnight, France alters dramatically. The education …(More)

Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins

Letting Go is not this cynical creature’s typical reading fare. It is a revealing book penned by a scientist with alternative tendencies.

My Review: This self-help book is dedicated to the process of letting go. Its author advocates allowing feelings to be present, as opposed to repressing them. The resulting sensation might be intense he …(More)

The Rules of Attraction by Bret Easton Ellis

The text’s plotless nature mirrors the vapid, aimless characters that populate it. Themes include bi-sexuality, drugs and despair.

My Review: The book is written in the first person from the perspective primarily of three students – Lauren, Sean and Paul. All are pupils of Camden College, an exclusive New Hampshire-based liberal arts …(More)

Mailing List Misery, Mobiles & More

Mar 26 2021

I finally bit the bullet and got a new iPhone. The one I had was ancient. Looking forward to taking and sharing photos with the new, improved iPhone 12 camera. None to show yet. But hope to have some good ones of Easter Eggs in time for next Friday. Here is the new phone.

For the last seven years or so, author gurus have been extolling the virtues of having a mailing list. Like most writers I have one; well three actually, all very modest in size. With the recent release of my new book, Mangetout, I did the logical thing and contacted my lists to announce the exciting news. I was under the impression that List One is comprised of readers with an interest in crime and/or darkly humorous fiction. Well, it seems I am mistaken and that the list consists of people living in north west London suffering from gluten allergies. I would have had more luck trying to sell them Lear jets than my 99c/99p book.

C’est la vie – time to bring out the big guns and move onto List Two. Now, I’m not sure who is on this list. Perhaps it is people who at school averaged a C in Trigonometry tests. A few of them took the plunge.

That left List Three. This list is reserved for people who prefer poached eggs to scrambled. A couple of them clicked the buy button.

My mailing list has undergone several Stalinesque purges, but evidently still consists mostly of Trotskyites, Capitalists, agitators and the bourgeois. What lessons are there to be learnt from the experience? According to someone I was talking to from the world of business, a mailing list that is not grown organically, ‘… is not worth its weight in manure, let alone gold.’

So, it is out with the giveaways and mailing list boost promos. I am going to try and stick to readers who have signed-up via the links at the back of my books.

In other news, I had a big free book promo for Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future. It hasn’t achieved much thus far apart from garnering some good reviews and ratings on Amazon.

Have a good weekend.

Amazon Link

‘This book will certainly have you turning the pages to see what happens next …’ – The Daily Squib

Meals, Mangetout & More

Feb 26 2021

There have been some impressive skies here of late.

When I haven’t been staring at the sky, I’ve been writing, reading and eating.

Kebabs + beer = a great combination.

And here’s a shot of something healthier. It’s a tuna salad containing six ingredients that I made earlier.

Books and green tea is another favoured combo.

There is less than two weeks to go until the release of my latest book – Mangetout. This quick read will appeal to all fans of darkly humorous crime fiction.

Trouble has a habit of finding some people.

These sharp, shocking and suspenseful stories are a must read.

Have a good weekend.

Tag - books

Emergence Blog Tour

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Squid, Siamese, Sweets, Staropramen & Swifts.

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3 Good Books I Read Recently

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It’s That Friday Feeling

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Misanthropic Ramblings

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8 Palahniuk Novels Reviewed.

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Fauna, Feasts, Feathers, Fiction & Flora

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4 Good Books I Read Recently.

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Mailing List Misery, Mobiles & More

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Meals, Mangetout & More

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