literature | Guy Portman's Blog

Emergence Blog Tour

Feb 25 2023

A blog tour for my latest novel is commencing on Monday. If you like darkly humorous crime, you’ll love Emergence.

The Blurb:

There’s no stopping this young sociopath.

Teenager Horatio hates his mother’s boyfriend, and there is nothing his long-suffering single mum or half-sister can do about it. The tension soon boils over into school when he attacks the class bully.

While suspended, Horatio has plenty of time to plot revenge against the man he holds responsible for all his problems. It won’t take the adventurous adolescent long to stumble across a depraved and degrading solution.

Now all he needs to do is keep deceiving the psychiatrist and wait for an opportunity to strike.

This suspenseful story will appeal to aficionados of psychological fiction and darkly humorous crime.

Please consider adding Emergence to your TBR. Emergence Goodreads Link.

3 Good Books I Read Recently

Sep 24 2021

I am away this Friday, so I have scheduled this book-related post in my absence. Here are three good books that I have read recently. Click on the links to read my reviews. While these are all very different books, they all contain dark themes.

The Crossing by Cormac McCarthy

This poignant, compelling and depressing bildungsroman-type novel is imbibed with an apocalyptic tone. The Crossing is the second instalment in The Border Trilogy.

My Review: Billy is a hardy sixteen-year-old living in rural New Mexico. One day he finds a she wolf caught in a snare. Having opted against shooting it, he attempts to return the animal to her …(More)

Dead Men’s Trousers by Irvine Welsh

Themes include drugs, sex, drinking and music. The familiar band of reprobates, hilarious antics and incisive Leith vernacular more than compensate for the dearth of plot.

My Review: The Trainspotting crew are back for another adventure. These days Mark Renton is a successful manager of DJs. Begbie is a famous artist, living the dream in California. Sick Boy hasn’t changed much …(More)

American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins

This fast-paced and suspenseful book adeptly weaves the oft-told Central American migrant tale with human interest, in the form of a mother and son.

My Review: When Lydia’s journalist husband and family are murdered by a cartel, she and her eight-year-old son are forced to flee Acapulco. The pair embark on an epic journey north to the US, where the …(More)

It’s That Friday Feeling

Sep 10 2021

The week has flown by, can’t believe it is the weekend already. We’ve had something of an Indian summer here in southern England. It’s over now, but was nice while it lasted.

With the lack of rain, my pond has become covered in toxic green coloured algae again. Looks like something out of Ghost Busters.

Trigga waiting for his afternoon walk.

Another day, another green tea served in my Italian 90′ Panini mug.

I am still reading Razor Girl. Looking forward to finishing it and moving on to my next read, which will be this.

Wednesday was the final day of the Indian summer. It seemed the perfect time to sweat off the cornettos and Haagen-Dazs I’ve been consuming of late. So we went for a run.

I was recently given this piece of gym equipment. It fits perfectly in the corner of the garage.

In other news, I have a new headline for my book, Tomorrow’s World.

The Future Is Here. And It’s Absurd.

Links: Amazon US, Amazon UK.

Have a good weekend

15 of Literature’s Funniest Quotes

Dec 14 2018

Some time back, I dedicated a number of posts to literature’s funniest quotes. This week I have compiled what I regard as the highlights from those posts. Here are 15 of literature’s funniest quotes:

He receives comfort like cold porridge— The Tempest by William Shakespeare

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.— The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

‘Matteo’s not that type of Italian,’ replies Fraser. ‘He’s more the sort you come across in southern cities like Bari and Pescara, dragging an Alsatian around by a tattered piece of string.’— Necropolis by Guy Portman

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.— The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker

If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt?— Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.— Very Good, Jeeves! by P.G. Wodehouse

It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.— Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now. — The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them. — While Rome Burns by Dorothy Parker

If you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.— Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays by David Sedaris

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life’s gas-pipe with a lighted candle.— The Man Upstairs and Other Stories by P.G. Wodehouse

If you’re going to read this, dont bother. After a couple pages, you won’t want to be here.— Choke (opening line) by Chuck Palahniuk

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.— The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.— The Algonquin Wits by Dorothy Parker

If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
— The Code of the Woosters by P.G. Wodehouse

6 Recommended Humour Books

Aug 31 2018

This week’s post is devoted to six humour books – five that I have read and one that I have written. Click on the links to read the reviews.

The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

The Metamorphosis is a bleak, existential nihilistic tale that comments on the human condition and the futility of life. This reader appreciated its dark humour.

My Review: Protagonist Gregor Samsa wakes up one morning to find that he has been transformed into a beetle. This awkward situation is exacerbated when Gregor’s boss turns up at his house seeking an explanation for his non-attendance at work …(more)

Damned by Chuck Palahniuk

Damned is a a light-hearted satire of hell, punctuated with comical details, pop-culture references and Theological irony.

My Review: The protagonist is thirteen-year-old Madison, the daughter of wealthy alternative parents. The privileged Madison studies at an exclusive Swiss boarding school and spends her holidays alternating …(more)

Candide by Voltaire

Candide

Candide is an eighteenth-century satirical classic that evaluates optimism; the prevailing philosophical ideology of The Enlightenment.

My Review: Brought up in the household of a German baron, cheerful protagonist Candide has been instilled with the philosophy of Leibniz, notably – That all is for the best in this, the best of all possible worlds …(more)

Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson

Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas is a humorous, ludicrous and on occasion repellent social commentary about the demise of the psychedelic, free loving dream of the sixties.

My Review: Hunter S. Thompson’s alter ego, journalist Raoul Duke, and his gargantuan Samoan attorney, Dr Gonzo, are on a drug-fuelled road trip through the desert, destination Las Vegas …(more)

Sepultura (#2 Necropolis Trilogy) by Guy Portman

Sepultura is a satirical black comedy featuring unforgettable sociopath, Dyson Devereux. Click here to get #1 for FREE. (800+ Ratings for Necropolis Trilogy on Goodreads)

Dyson Devereux is a busy man, with a challenging new job at Paleham Council and a young son. He would be coping just fine were it not for crass colleagues, banal bureaucracy and contemptible clothes. He is not going to take it lying down …(more)

The Squirrel that Dreamt of Madness by Craig Stone

The Squirrel that Dreamt of Madness is a bizarre and humorous novel about the author’s time spent living homeless in a park. Craig has to deal with a multitude of issues that are alien to us home dwellers.

My Review: The author Craig Stone is becoming increasingly disillusioned with the predictability and banality of his everyday existence. Deciding that it is better to live dreaming than to …(more)

7 Books For 7 Moods

Aug 17 2018

This week sees the latest instalment in my books for different moods series. Here are 7 books for 7 moods/different states of mind. Click on the links to read my reviews.

In the mood for some short stories? If so, you may like the Kafkaesque:

Rashōmon and Seventeen Other Stories by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa

A sense of doom and despair permeates this somewhat disparate assemblage whose cynicism, dark humour and tormented, fin-de-siécle tone appealed to this reader. Click here to read my review.

My Opinion: Mostly good

In the mood for something darkly humorous? If the answer is yes, you might appreciate:

An Ice-Cream War by William Boyd

This unpredictable serio-comedy’s motif is the absurdness of war. The book’s grave content is laced with humour of the dark variety. Click here to read my review.

My Opinion: Good

In the mood for a classic?

Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

Heart of Darkness is a thought-provoking, multi-layered story, about what can occur when man exists outside of civilisation’s constraints. Click here to read my review.

My Opinion: Challenging but rewarding

In the mood for a quick read?

Breakfast At Tiffany’s by Truman Capote

Breakfast At Tiffany’s is set in 1940s’ New York. This compelling and at times humorous tale’s themes include compassion and nostalgia. Click here to read my review.

My Opinion: Entertaining and atmospheric

In the mood for some real crime?

Helter Skelter by Vincent Bugliosi

This detailed 660 page true crime classic is about the Manson murders and the lengthy trial that ensued. After reading this, you will feel that you have lived through the trial. Click here to read my review.

My Opinion: Interesting but hard work

In the mood for some dark fantasy? If so then you might enjoy:

American Gods by Neil Gaiman

This dark, innovative blend of fantasy and mythology explores the tribalistic nature of America’s various beliefs. Its tough and taciturn protagonist will appeal to many. Click here to read my review.

My Opinion: Imaginative but meandering

In the mood for something plotless and poignant?

The Day of the Locust by Nathanael West

Published in 1939, The Day of the Locust is a short novel that is prescient in its prediction of the Hollywood-obsessed society of today. Click here to read my review.

The 10 Books I’ve Read This Year

Jun 22 2018

As is my custom at the halfway point of the year, I am devoting this post to the books that I have read so far in 2018. Well, there is over a week to go until the halfway point, but anyway … Here are the ten books that I have read in 2018. They are presented in the order in which I read them. Click on the links to read my reviews.

Skaboys by Irvine Welsh

Genre: Transgressive Fiction

Skagboys is set in the 1980s against a backdrop of Thatcherism, the rise of dance of music and HIV.

My Review: Skagboys is the prequel to Trainspotting. Its colourful, mostly young characters hail from the Edinburgh port suburb of Leith. There is the bookish …(more)

My Opinion: Excellent

An Ice-Cream War by William Boyd

Genre: Dark Humour

An Ice-Cream War’s motif is the absurdness of war. The book’s grave content is laced with humour of the dark variety.

My Review: After much tension and speculation, World War I begins. The main campaign is contended on the Western Front, but there is also a less well-known offensive in …(more)

My Opinion: Good

The Carrot Man by Theo A. Gerken

Genre: Humour

This existential comedy is replete with jokes. Some are offensive, few are amusing.

My Review: The Carrot Man is a novelette about a manic Swede who is revolted by his new flatmate; an unhygienic, unindustrious, unsociable specimen whom …(more)

My Opinion: Poor

The Trumpassic Period by David Belisle

Genre: Humour?

This politics-meets-palaeontology work purports to be a satire, of the lampooning variety.

My Review: The Trumpassic Period is a rehash of President Trump’s first year in office, but with dinosaurs substituting for the controversial leader and his cohorts …(more)

My Opinion: Sleep-inducing drivel

Last Exit to Brooklyn by Hubert Selby Jr.

Genre: Transgressive Fiction

Last Exit to Brooklyn is a controversial and ground-breaking transgressive work.

My Review: This inter-related collection of six stories are set in 1950s Brooklyn, New York. One revolves around a Benzedrine-scoffing transvestite’s …(more)

My Opinion: Memorable

Vile Bodies by Evelyn Waugh

Genre: Humour/Satire

Vile Bodies is a satirical novel whose primary purpose is satirising decadent 1920s London society.

My Review: Author Adam plans to marry his fiancé Nina Blount, but he does not have enough money to convince his disinterested, aristocratic beau to tie the knot. Every time Adam …(more)

My Opinion: Curious and somewhat dated

Hotel Scarface by Roben Farzad

Genre: Non Fiction

Named after iconic film Scarface, Hotel Scarface captures the zeitgeist of 1980s Miami.

My Review: This is an account of the rise and fall of Hotel Mutiny; a Coconut Grove, Miami-based hotel and club founded in the 1970s. It became the haunt of rising cocaine …(more)

My Opinion: Okay

The Raw Shark Texts by Steven Hall

Genre: General Fiction?

This analytical and abstract book’s motif is mental health. Its contents include drawings and computer code.

My Review:Eric Sanderson is suffering from a form of amnesia called fugue, at least according to his psychologist. Eric is aware that his girlfriend Cleo died whilst …(more)

My Opinion: Pretentious and onerous

Not Exactly Shakespeare by Martin Freznell

Genre: Humour

Not Exactly Shakespeare purports to be the shortest book you’ll ever be forced to pretend to have to read.

My Review: There is not much to like or loath about this meagre and mildly comical offering …(more)

My Opinion: Not enough content to form one

Marabou Stork Nightmares by Irvine Welsh

Genre: Transgressive Fiction

An inventive book, boasting parallel stories and different levels of awareness.

My Review: Roy Strang narrates this story from the hospital in which he is lying in a coma. It begins in South Africa, where he and his friend Sandy Jamieson are …(more)

My Opinion: Bleak and quite good

About me and my darkly humorous writing.

Tomorrow’s World

Jun 08 2018

Doomsayers have been predicting the death of the novel for years. Recently, author Zadie Smith talked of novel-nausea, and journalist and novelist Will Self has even gone so far as to say that the novel is ‘absolutely doomed’. Whether the novel is set to go the way of the dinosaurs is debateable, but literary ennui does appear to be on the rise. Reasons for this include the digitalisation of print culture, ever increasing pressures on our time and social media.

‘We’re in an era of ever-shortening attention spans. For example, I just checked Twitter 12 times while writing that sentence.’ — Adam Riley, comedian

As for me, I want to write more novels (4 to date) but I also want to experiment with shorter, attention grabbing literary forms, hence my decision to pen a darkly humorous, satirical book of vignettes about the future. It will take the form of short, sardonic scenes that take the reader year by year into a future characterised by manic capitalism, virtual reality, extreme celebrity worship, hyper-branding, a grotesquely ageing population and an ever increasing mandatory retirement age. Tomorrow’s World will be released late this year.

In the interim you might enjoy my satirical black comedy, Necropolis. Click here to sign up to my humorous, monthly book-related newsletter and to claim your free copy. You can unsubscribe at any time. Necropolis is the first part in a proposed trilogy. Part Two: Sepultura, was released earlier this year.

What is a sociopath to do?

‘The book is full of razor-sharp satire’

A sociopath can only keep up a façade for so long.

‘A satirical gem’

My Reading List

Apr 27 2018

As Frank Zappa once famously said, ‘So many books, so little time.’ I am sure many of you can empathise with that, I certainly can. As well as keeping busy writing (4 novels to date) I like to read. My writing genre is dark humour/satire. Because of this I tend to read a lot of books that fall into this category. However, I am something of an eclectic reader. Today, I would like to share with you a few books from my ever-growing TBR list.

Yes, I am aware the above is a picture of a dog not a book cover. Trigga has picked up some unsavoury habits of late, possibly from his owner. As a result I have decided to deviate from my usual reading matter to read …

The Dog Listener

Wish me luck.

I have not read much Irvine Welsh, but I was immensely impressed by Skagboys which I read earlier this year. My next Welsh book will be … What a great title, marabou storks are terrifying creatures.

Marabou Stork Nightmares

American Gods

Goodreads members have been raving about American Gods for a long time. It is high time that I read it.

Bret Easton Ellis has certainly had an influence on me and my writing. I didn’t think much of Lunar Park though. Hopefully this will be better.

Imperial Bedrooms

When it comes to entertainment, you can’t beat prison breaks. Somehow, I have never got around to reading:

Papillon

Like its prequel Blood Ties promises to be a gritty Manchester-based crime novel.

Blood Ties

The word ‘scarface’ was enough to prompt me to add the below to my to-read list. Just as many the world over, the film Scarface had a profound effect on me.

Hotel Scarface

The Journey of Crazy Horse

I have always been fascinated by indigenous Americans. Crazy Horse is an iconic figure and I have high hopes for this book.

Fiend

If you know you me, you will know that I cannot resist Transgressive Fiction hence the inclusion of Fiend on my TBR.

Have you signed up to my monthly book-related newsletter? Click here to do so.

6 Dark Fiction Reading Recommendations

Mar 30 2018

I am an avid reader and writer of Dark Fiction. Here are six Dark Fiction reading recommendations for you, some of which are humorous, some of which are not. Click on the links to read my reviews.

Definition: Dark fiction is concerned with the sinister side of human nature. It is often distinguished from the mainstream horror genre in that it tends not to be fantasy-orientated. Dark fiction may contain elements of black or satirical humour.

Rashōmon and Seventeen Other Stories by Ryūnosuke Akutagawa

A sense of doom and despair permeates this somewhat disparate assemblage whose cynicism, dark humour and tormented, fin-de-siécle tone appealed to this reader.

My Review: The book, which is divided into four parts, begins with the sinister tale Rashōmon. Set during the Heian era (11th century) it sees a confrontation between an unemployed servant and an old woman, who is in the process of …(more)

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

Imbibed with a sense of impending doom, Rebecca is a slow-moving, haunting and atmospheric literary masterpiece, boasting an expertly woven plot and an abrupt ending.

My Review: Our young, unnamed narrator is working as an assistant for a rich American woman in Monte Carlo. It is here that she meets recently widowed, forty-two-year-old Maximilian (Maxim) de Winter. Maxim is the proprietor …(more)

POP.1280 by Jim Thompson

About: Pop.1280 is a first person work of noir fiction set in a sordid, rural Texas backwater. It is written in the author’s trademark stark, pulp prose style.

My Review: Sheriff Nick Corey’s problems are mounting. There are the troublesome pimps, the nagging wife and mistress, and the forthcoming election that could see him replaced as sheriff. Intent on avoiding conflict at all costs, the seemingly slow-witted …(more)

Novel with Cocaine by M. Ageyev

About: Novel with Cocaine is a nihilistic and philosophical novel about adolescence and addiction that could be described as Dostoyevskian.

My Review: Set in the years immediately before and after the Russian Revolution, Novel with Cocaine follows the life of Vadim, a Moscow adolescent and student. Vadim is prone to self-loathing and disdainful of others, none more so than his mother, whose …(more)

Skagboys by Irvine Welsh

Skagboys is a work of Transgressive Fiction set for the most part in Scotland. Its main focus is many of its characters increasing obsession with heroin.

My Review: Skagboys is the prequel to Trainspotting. Its colourful, mostly young characters hail from the Edinburgh port suburb of Leith. There is the bookish, unambitious Mark ‘Rents’ Renton, and his best friend, the verbose, predatory womaniser Sick Boy …(more)

An Ice-Cream War by William Boyd

An Ice-Cream War’s motif is the absurdness of war. This unpredictable serio-comedy’s blend of tragedy and black humour appealed to this reader

My Review: After much tension and speculation, World War I begins. The main campaign is contended on the Western Front, but there is also a less well-known offensive in colonial East Africa, where the British and their native conscripts are pitted against the …(more)

Tag - literature

Emergence Blog Tour

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3 Good Books I Read Recently

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It’s That Friday Feeling

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15 of Literature’s Funniest Quotes

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6 Recommended Humour Books

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7 Books For 7 Moods

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The 10 Books I’ve Read This Year

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Tomorrow’s World

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My Reading List

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6 Dark Fiction Reading Recommendations

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