Random | Guy Portman's Blog

Squid, Siamese, Sweets, Staropramen & Swifts.

Oct 08 2021

I do like alliteration, at least when it comes to blog posts. The Squid in the title refers to the Korean Netflix series ‘Squid Game’. Half the world is watching the show at present, as am I. The most memorable part for me was the cookie cutting game. Never would have thought cookie cutting could be so fraught.

‘Siamese Twins’ is the book I am poised to start, but just haven’t quite got around to yet. 2021 has not been a prolific reading year thus far.

Now for the sweets. Are you a fan of cheesecake? For some reason I was under the impression I couldn’t stand the stuff. That all changed when I tucked into this specimen complete with icing.

Starting the day with a nougat pastry is not the norm. However, last Saturday was an exception.

Staropramen is a Czech beer, which is often sold quite cheaply in the supermarket despite it being what could be described as a premium beer. You’ve probably had it before. It’s pretty good.

Time for the swifts. These swifts stopped off by my house on their migration south. At least I think they are swifts, they’re not swallows. They were here last year too. It surprises me that they spend so much time flying about. One would have thought they’d use the time to rest, unless of course they are training for the long journey ahead.

Have a good weekend.

Partying, Partaking, Pastries & Problems

Jul 02 2021

The partying in the title refers to the wedding I attended last Saturday. It had been a very long time since I had been in a large gathering of people. I managed to successfully avoid all physical contact. It came naturally to me.

Some lessons had to be relearned however. Lesson One: Make eye contact with people. Lesson Two: Don’t maintain eye contact 100% of the time (or one will appear psychotic). Lesson Three: Don’t drink to excess, or one will suffer the consequences.

It took me until I was around thirty to learn the first two lessons, but I learnt the latter when I was fifteen. Unfortunately, I had forgotten it. I have since been reminded.

The dining marquee

My place. There’s nothing quite like seeing one’s name in print.

That’s the wine done with. Anyone else a fan of Limoncello?

The two metre plus best man striding away from what was a successful speech.

A Scottish cousin and his other half in celebratory mood. No, it wasn’t England failing to beat Scotland in the football that was the cause of their jubilation.

Now for the pastries. They’re Baklava. I ate the entire box last night.

Finally, a break from the rain. It was time to get some gardening done. The problem was I couldn’t remember which oil the flymow takes.

Could have sworn it was this one.

I was wrong.

Weather, Writing, WordPress & Wildlife.

May 28 2021

After what has felt like weeks of virtually non-stop rain, the sun has finally come out. It is here to stay; at least that is what the weather forecast is claiming.

Is it just me, or is WordPress not working very well at the moment. It is incredibly slow whenever I use it and there are ongoing issues with uploading images. Rant over. I have been writing non-stop of late. Have just finished a third draft of a novel and am flying through another. However, this has come at a price. There has been nothing vaguely resembling marketing going on, and no social media, or building my mailing list.

On another subject, the cock pheasant has been spending ever more time at mine. How’s this for a close-up of him.

Blossom – a sight for sore eyes.

The dog on his morning walk.

Trigga moments later on point.

The obligatory weekly photo of a deer. This roe buck was considering whether flight or fight was the way to go. He opted for flight. You can never be sure at this time of year which way they’ll turn.

My current read. It’s a slow burn and morbidly depressing in places, but I can’t get enough of McCarthy.

I have some exciting news to share with you. Last Sunday, I went to a restaurant for the first time in forever.

This was purportedly a chocolate mousse. At least that’s what I ordered. Perhaps due to the fact none of us have been out for so long, restaurants now think they can pull the wool over our eyes. Good thing it was delicious, or I would have kicked up a fuss.

A Personal Update

Jan 19 2018

It has been over a week since I released my fourth novel, the black comedy Sepultura. The early reviews have been very positive, and there are now a fair few up on Goodreads. I particularly like these comments, all of which are taken from Goodreads reviews.

A superb addition to Portman’s eclectic, wonderful corpus — Sean

… I already need the sequel! — lexlooksatbooks

I couldn’t help but observe with relish Dyson’s latest interactions with the philistines who haunt his waking hours — Wendy

Click here to see the reviews.

On another subject a couple of days ago I started reading my first book of 2018. Skagboys is a work of Transgressive Fiction by Irvine Welsh. Its length (500 pages), Scottish vernacular, and the utilisation of some passages presented in a handwritten font will no doubt result in it taking a while to read. But I am thoroughly enjoying it so far.

This a bit random – I have a cheese recommendation for you, and it is an exceptional one at that. Perhaps you have tried it already. If not might I suggest you get hold of a Black Bomber at your earliest convenience. Black Bomber hails from Wales. This cheddar like cheese is a delight on the palate. I only recently discovered Black Bomber. It is now my favourite cheese.

Here is some I prepared earlier posing alongside Tuscan salami.

Sun is in something of a rarity in England at this time of year (some would say at any time of year). Here is a picture of my dog basking in the morning sun shining through the window. Trigga is a Hungarian Vizsla.