Tag - strange books

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8 Books That Made Me Laugh
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Bizarre Books VIII
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13 Bizarre Books

8 Books That Made Me Laugh

This week’s post is devoted to some more highlights from my bizarre books series. Here are 8 books that made me laugh. Well, I haven’t read any of them, but just looking at them makes me laugh.

 

Managing a Dental Practice: The Genghis Khan Way

dental

If the client complains behead them. Then impale the head on a pike. Don’t forget to polish their teeth first.

 

We Never Went To The Moon

Moon

Author: ‘Do you believe NASA of the USA ever set foot on the moon in and after 1969 or do you doubt it?’

‘I can honestly say I’ve never given it any thought. On another subject did you use WordArt to design your front cover? … You did didn’t you.’

 

Scruples How to Avoid Them

Extreme supplication from the looks of things.

 

The Christian Life is Exciting

The front cover fails to give that impression.

 

Helping The Retarded To Know God 

And the winner of the most offensive book title is…

 

It’s Not Going To Get Any Better When You Grow Up

grow-up

Truer words were never spoken.

 

God’s Masturbation Solution

Penned by M. L. Brown — Reverend and masturbation connoisseur.

 

Thinking Biblically About The iPod 

If there is a more obscure book title out there, I am yet to come across it.

 

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Bizarre Books VIII

I have yet more bizarre books for you. Every time I think I have exhausted the topic, I discover yet more bizarre books. This is the eighth instalment in the series. Here are 10 bizarre books:

 

The Goldflower Book of Business Greetings

Ever wondered why you always fail interviews? Next time you have an interview, try introducing yourself with the above handshake.

 

Eating People is Wrong

Touché

 

Foreigners & How To Spot Them

Spotting foreigners sounds a bit like birdwatching. Next time I am on the London Tube, I will use this book to identify some foreigners, and then attempt some safe methods of approach.

 

Innards And Other Variety Meats

Yummy!

 

How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

Whether it is malarkey or an effective way to say good-bye to depression, constricting one’s anus 100 times per day sounds rather time consuming. I for one am sticking with the pills.

 

Microwave For One

This book would appear much more impressive if its title was Microwave For One Hundred. Perhaps someone should inform author Sonia Allison that all microwaving for one entails is reading the instructions on the back of the packet.

 

Bangkok Travel Guide For Men

Imagine what happens when the parcel arrives from Amazon, and the wife opens it.

 

God Is Great So How Come He Gave Me And Bobby Crossed Eyes

Because he doesn’t like you! (Note: I think this is a fictitious book title).

 

Enjoying Being Single

Just look at the fun that man is having on the front cover being single. I am feeling nostalgic…

 

Nuclear War Fun Book

Who would have thought nuclear war could be so much fun.

 

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13 Bizarre Books

I always knew there were some bizarre books out there, but I was not aware quite how bizarre until researching this post. Here are 13 books that I consider to be bizarre. I have added pithy comments/fictitious dialogue below each.

 

Gadsby: A Lipogram Novel

Gadsby2

This 50,000+ word lipogram novel claims not to use the letter e.

How many e’s can you spot on the front cover?

 

Highlights in the History of Concrete

Concrete

If you’re going to go to the trouble of writing a book about the history of concrete, you might as well tell the whole story.

 

Sexual Analysis of Dickens’ Props 

Dickens Props

I always knew that chair in Oliver Twist had sexual connotations, but no one would listen.

 

The Big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories

Lesbian Horse

One Amazon reviewer claims that The Big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories is merely a normal sized book of lesbian horse stories.

 

Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say “No” to Drugs

Horse

This is how I imagine Latawnya the Naughty Horse learns how to say ‘No’ to drugs.

Someone walks into Latawnya’s stable holding some drugs.

Person: ‘Hi Latawnya you naughty horse, would you like some drugs?’

Latawnya: ‘Neighhhh.’

‘Let’s try that again shall we. Would you like some drugs?’

‘Neighhhh.’

‘Would you like some drugs?’

‘Neighhhno.’

Latawyna has learnt to say no to drugs. Have you?

 

Castration: The Advantages and the Disadvantages 

Castration

You mean to say there are disadvantages.

 

How to Speak Cat: The Essential Primer of Cat Language

Speak Cat

Purr whilst rubbing against someone if you want something, arch your back and hiss if you are angry, meow for everything else.

 

Anybody Can Be Cool– But Awesome Takes Practice

Cool

Oh, awesome takes practice! That explains why I’ve been stuck on cool for so long.

 

How to Avoid Huge Ships 

Ships

Don’t go on cruises or swim in harbours.

 

Why Not Eat Insects? 

Insects

Why not indeed!

 

How Green Were the Nazis?: Nature, Environment, and Nation in the Third Reich

Green Nazis

The Nazis may have killed millions of people, but when it came to recycling…

 

Dating for Under a Dollar: 301 Ideas

Dollar Dating

Go to McDonald’s with your date and order a grilled onion cheddar burger from the dollar menu, then pull out 99c and plead until they let you off the 1c. Now cut the burger in 2 and give her/him half, but with all the onions.

Date: ‘All the onions? That’s so kind. Are you sure?’

You: ‘Yes I’m sure. Now eat them before I change my mind.’

 

Does GOD Ever Speak through CATS?

God Cats

Cat: ‘Meow! Meow! Purr, purr, meow, hiss! MEOW! MEOW!’

Person: ‘Are you sure God? We already have 10 Commandments, do we really need an 11th?’

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