Tomorrow’s World | Guy Portman's Blog

Food, Feasting, Fire & Free Fiction.

Nov 20 2020

We are in the midst of Lockdown #2 here in the UK and fun is in short supply. It’s wet, miserable and gets dark really early. Fortunately, there is still pleasure to be found. It had been a long time since I had scampi and chips.

Here is a Tesco-originating, Italian-themed antipasto I assembled earlier.

News of the birdfeeder has spread like wildfire. There are often multiple tits on the feeder at any given time with more waiting in the wings.

I’ll probably only fill it once a week. Otherwise it is going to become a financial burden.

After weeks of mild weather, there has been a cold spell. It was 1°C this morning.

The first fire of the season.

Presently, there is a KDP free day promotion running for my satirical offering – Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future. It is the only one of my books exclusive to Amazon. The five day campaign ends tomorrow (Saturday).

1,302 Amazon users downloaded Tomorrow’s World yesterday and it reached #37 Free in Kindle Store in Canada this lunchtime. Whether any of this means anything, only time will tell. Regardless, I am pleased that the book appeals enough for people to download despite the fact that it hasn’t got many reviews. Now I need them to read it.

Links: Amazon US, Amazon UK, Amazon CA, Amazon AU

Have a good weekend.

17 FREE Humour Books For You

May 17 2019

Once again, I have collaborated with my fellow humour authors to offer you a selection of FREE humour books. This time there are 17 to choose from. The deal includes my satirical book of vignettes, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future (40,251 words/2.5 hours reading time).

17 FREE HUMOUR BOOKS OFFER LINK

If you like dark humour and you are looking for a quick read, Tomorrow’s World could be the book for you. To get your FREE copy of mine and/or any of the other offerings, just click on the link and then click on the book cover you want. All you have to do to claim your FREE book (Mobi/ePub/PDF) is sign up to the given author’s mailing list. You can unsubscribe at any point. If you are already on my mailing list, please sign up again. I will delete any duplicates. So hurry while stocks last. Actually, they are eBooks so stocks will last, but the deal ends on May 28th and time is ticking.

17 FREE HUMOUR BOOKS OFFER LINK

‘… in Tomorrow’s World, Guy has seen the writing on the wall. And it’s in emojis’ – Adam Riley (comedian)

‘This book will certainly have you turning the pages to see what happens next …’ – The Daily Squib

My Plans For 2019

Jan 04 2019

Happy New Year everyone.

‘May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.’ – Joey Adams

This, my first blog post of 2019, is about my plans for this year. With regards writing, I plan to release my sixth book later this year. I released two in 2018 (Sepultura & Tomorrow’s World). Golgotha will be the third and final instalment in the Necropolis Trilogy. It will feature suave sociopath Dyson Devereux. The first part, Necropolis, has 100+ reviews on Goodreads. Part two, Sepultura, was released last year. If you like dark humour you’ll love the Necropolis trilogy.

A sociopath can only keep up a façade for so long.

Sepultura Goodreads link.

As for other plans, I have some freelance writing work to get on with, and then there’s the reading. Here are a couple of books I want to read this year.

If you are looking for some more reading recommendations and you haven’t seen it already, check out – The 20 books I read in 2018. I have written a review of each. Happy New Year.

Tomorrow’s World & Black Friday

Nov 23 2018

My new book, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future, was released yesterday.

I am pleased and grateful that one of the UK’s biggest and most prestigious satire sites, ‘The Daily Squib’, have written a positive, amusing and extremely thorough review (14 paragraphs) of Tomorrow’s World on their website. Click here to read it.

If you like dark humour, you’ll love Tomorrow’s World.

As for me, I am currently holed up at home, trying to avoid Black Friday. It only seems a few years ago that Black Friday barely existed. Since then the virus has spread everywhere. It is currently contaminating the continent. The Low Countries offered no resistance, and as for France they have held out longer than they did against the Germans, but it is only a matter of time. Black Friday is spreading faster than the Black Death.

My advice – stay at home, keep the windows closed and the television off. I am not into yoga, but at times like this breathing exercises can help …

Click here to see Tomorrow’s World Goodreads Page.

Have a good weekend.

Tomorrow’s World: 6 Days To Go

Nov 16 2018

Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future is being released next Thursday, Nov. 22nd.

The future may not be bright but it’s hilarious

Here are some details about the book:

In England, Terrence finds himself disillusioned in a world of drudgery, compensation claim drones and a relentlessly rising retirement age. Across the pond, Walter has harnessed the power of age-defying medication in a bid to prosper indefinitely – at any expense. What could possibly go wrong?

40,251 words/2.5 hours reading time

Congratulations to the two winners of the Goodreads giveaway – Alexandria and Jessica. A first edition, signed copy will be posted to your US locations on Monday.

“Because in Tomorrow’s World, Guy has seen the writing on the wall. And it’s in emojis.” Adam Riley, Comedian

1140 readers have now added Tomorrow’s World to their Goodreads TBR list.

Here are a few short snippets from the book:

‘The fact that Paradise Pods have the same dimensions as a standard coffin is incidental,’ says the salesman, ducking to avoid the hurled teacup …

The interior of the rotorcraft erupts in vociferations of glee when the passengers catch sight of the white-tipped peak of Mont Blanc, Western Europe’s last remaining refuge for snow.

She cannot envisage ever swapping her early 1990s Benidorm experience for any of the other virtual-reality options available to her and her fellow retirees …

If you like dark humour, you’ll love Tomorrow’s World.

Tomorrow’s World will be available as a paperback & ebook from all major retailers.

Click here to see Tomorrow’s World Goodreads Page.

Tomorrow’s World: Countdown

Nov 09 2018

There is less than two weeks to go until the release of Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future (November 22nd).

The first reviews for Tomorrow’s World have appeared on Goodreads, and the Goodreads Giveaway is still underway. Two signed, first edition paperback copies must be won.

Here are some details about the darkly humorous, satirical extravaganza that is Tomorrow’s World:

In tales that criss cross the Atlantic, Tomorrow’s World transports the reader into the future where even dreams can be controlled – but it seems that the future’s not all it’s cracked up to be. In England, Terrence finds himself disillusioned in a world of drudgery, compensation claim drones and a relentlessly rising retirement age. Across the pond, Walter has harnessed the power of age-defying medication in a bid to prosper indefinitely – at any expense. What could possibly go wrong?

40,251 words/2.5 hours reading time

Here are a few snippets from the book:

2176 A.D.

… he had abhorred virtual celebrity reality television his entire life. He had first been subjected to it as a small child in the family home. Over the years he had witnessed a plethora of virtual celebrity reality television shows that had catered to the vicarious, the voyeur, the vain and the vapid.

2160 A.D.

‘Garbage Pail Kids.’

‘What are Garbage Pail Kids?’

‘They were 1980s humorous, satirical trading cards. We have one of Europe’s finest private collections in the family. Remind me to show you them sometime.’

Click here to view Tomorrow’s World Goodreads page.

Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future

Nov 02 2018

I am currently running a Goodreads Giveaway for my forthcoming book, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future (Release Date: November 22nd).

The good news is that two signed, first edition paperback copies are up for grabs. The bad news is that the giveaway is only open to North American readers. Goodreads dictates the rules, not me. If it wasn’t for the inclusion of Canada, I would suspect this was another of Trump’s trade embargos. Regardless, you can still add Tomorrow’s World to your Goodreads to-read list; LibraryThing too if you’re that way inclined. Tomorrow’s World will be available to purchase in all countries (excluding North Korea). Here are some details:

The future’s here and it’s great. You can live for a very long time, you can experience the dream in virtual reality, and you can even worship David Hasselhoff. But not everyone is feeling fulfilled …

With the relentlessly increasing mandatory retirement age, Terrence can see no end to his life of drudgery. And then there are the compensation claim drones …

With its dark humour and gripping narrative, Tomorrow’s World paints a vivid picture of a future that’s a little too close for comfort.

40,251 words – 2.5 hours reading time
Publication Date: November 22nd (paperback & eBook)

‘… in Tomorrow’s World, Guy has seen the writing on the wall. And it’s in emojis.’ – Adam Riley (comedian)

Warning: This book is not suitable for overtly religious types/those who do not appreciate dark humour.

Tomorrow’s World Goodreads Page.

Have a good weekend.

16 Quotes About The Future

Oct 26 2018

My new book is being unleashed on the world, on November 22nd. Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future will appeal to fans of satire and dark humour. As the title suggests, it is about the future. I will be releasing more information over the forthcoming weeks.

In the build-up to the big day, I will be focusing on all things future. Today’s post is dedicated to quotes about the future. Many of these are amusing, others thought-provoking, and some both.

Here are 16 quotes about the future:

‘The future you have, tomorrow, won’t be the same future you had, yesterday.’ ― Chuck Palahniuk, Rant

‘The past is always tense, the future perfect.’ ― Zadie Smith

‘It’s amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.’ ― John Guare, Landscape of the Body

‘The future is there… looking back at us. Trying to make sense of the fiction we will have become.’ ― William Gibson, Pattern Recognition

‘You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.’ ― John Green, Looking for Alaska

‘Study the past if you would define the future.’ ― Confucius

‘The future is uncertain but the end is always near.’ ― Jim Morrison

‘When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?’ ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

‘I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.’ ― Albert Einstein

‘People were always getting ready for tomorrow. I didn’t believe in that. Tomorrow wasn’t getting ready for them. It didn’t even know they were there.’ ― Cormac McCarthy, The Road

‘The future came and went in the mildly discouraging way that futures do.’ ―
Neil Gaiman, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

‘The past is made out of facts… I guess the future is just hope.’ ― Isaac Marion, Warm Bodies

‘I am an optimist. Anyone interested in the future has to be otherwise he would simply shoot himself.’ ― Arthur C. Clarke

‘Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming.’ ― David Bowie

‘The future is already here – it’s just not evenly distributed.’ ― William Gibson

‘The future may not be bright but it’s hilarious.’ ― Tomorrow’s World (Press Release)

Click here to see Tomorrow’s World Goodreads page.

Books, The Crayfish and Me

Oct 05 2018

I am not a sociable person and I do not receive many visitors, so I was surprised when this one turned up, unannounced at my front door.

He is an American Crayfish. I’m assuming it’s a he, I don’t get female visitors. His visit was all the more surprising considering that there is very little water around here. Initially, I wasn’t aware that he was an American Crayfish, but then the postman arrived and informed me that ‘it’ was, and that American Crayfish are a clear and present danger to our native fauna. Rather like grey squirrels.

On another note, after years of using social media, I have finally decided to include a bio pic of myself, rather than an image from one of my front covers. It feels a bit like being naked in public. Anyway, here it is:

I will be rolling it out to my social media profiles in due course. Now, for a reading update. What with all the writing I have been doing, I haven’t been reading that much of late, but I am poised to embark on two books. The Blade Artist (Transgressive Fiction) and The Butcher (Black Comedy). I will be posting my reviews of them here and on Goodreads.

Just a reminder that my next book, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future is being released next month (November 22nd). Click here to view its Goodreads page. Have a good weekend.

Tomorrow’s World Blurb Reveal

Sep 28 2018

Today, I am pleased to unveil the blurb for my forthcoming book, Tomorrow’s World: Darkly Humorous Tales From The Future.

With the relentlessly increasing mandatory retirement age, Terrence can see no end to his life of drudgery. And then there are the compensation claim drones …

On the other side of the pond, Walter is faring far better. With the assistance of age-defying medication, the kung fu hyper-capitalist plans to prosper indefinitely. However, there are plenty of people who want to see him fail.

Will these two contrasting characters thrive in a future that’s changing forever? Or even survive? And what about the rest of us?

If you like dark humour and scathing satire, then you will relish experiencing tomorrow’s outlandish world through the eyes of its colourful cast of characters.

40,251 words – 2.5 hours reading time

Publication Date: November 22nd (paperback & eBook)

‘… in Tomorrow’s World, Guy has seen the writing on the wall. And it’s in emojis.’ – Adam Riley (comedian)

Warning: This book is not suitable for overtly religious types/those who do not appreciate dark humour.

Are you on Goodreads? If so, click here to add Tomorrow’s World to your to-read list.

Tag - Tomorrow’s World

Food, Feasting, Fire & Free Fiction.

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