Guy Portman's Blog

New Twitter Species Discovered

Followers of my blog will be only too aware of my Twitter obsession. I have devoted posts to how my fellow authors use Twitter to market their books, Twitter annoyances, in addition to several posts about the various species that inhabit the Twittersphere.

Several weeks ago a Twitter friend mentioned to me that random Tweets she was sending, which were utterly irrelevant to anyone but the intended recipient, were being RTd by others.

Without further ado I collected my specimen net, donned my Victorian explorer’s hat, and headed off into the darkest depths of the Twittersphere, to observe one of these peculiar Twitter specimens in their natural habitat. I had travelled but a short distance when I heard Emma reply to a Tweet from Chris with, ‘See you Monday Chris’.

No sooner had the Tweet been sent than it was seized and randomly RTd to twenty thousand Followers by another Twitter account, not named Chris. Since that occurrence I have been observing similar Tweeting antics on a nearly daily basis. The Tweets are of the:

‘Thank you for the RT Patricia’ – ‘How was your weekend Emilio.’ – ‘Okay see you then.’ And ‘She’s fine thanks for asking’ variety.

This new locust like Twitter species could soon reach plague proportions, devouring Tweets as they go, leaving a barren Twittersphere in their wake. I took to ruminating as to the logic behind this peculiar Tweeting habit, but was unable to comprehend a rational reason for it. It was at this juncture that I remembered a quote by author and cultural icon, William S. Burroughs.

‘Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative.’

Burroughs possessed remarkable rationality and intuitiveness when it came to analysing situations, other than on the occasion when he accidentally shot his wife Joan Vollmer dead, whilst trying to shoot a water tumbler balanced on her head.  But everyone is allowed the occassional off day.

Then I remembered another Burroughs quote, which also seemed appropriate in my perplexed state. Burroughs once famously said:

‘Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.’

Well I have been relaxing, but my mind is no closer to answering the perplexing question regarding the habits of this newly discovered Twitter species. And so I am left with no alternative but to return full circle to his first quote. Anyway I have named the new species temere sequitor, Random Repeater in English.

This is my review of Queer by William S. Burroughs.

Click here to read Adam’s review of The Soft Machine by the same author.

 

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