Culinary Revelations

Last Wednesday – Pret a Manger.  Underneath the adjacent table was a small, inquisitive King Charles Spaniel, attached to a lead. A floral-frocked lady was clasping the end of the lead in one hand whilst nibbling on what appeared to be a Teriyaki salmon salad. She was informing her companion of the perils of gluten, a conversation that I seem to be hearing increasingly regularly these days. However, I was somewhat surprised when she announced that her dog Kuby was now gluten-free.

I couldn’t resist putting this to the test by surreptitiously throwing pieces of bread from my Swedish meatball wrap in Kuby’s direction. Kuby devoured them greedily. A third glutinous threat was mid-air when the lady turning abruptly towards me, demanded to know what I was giving her dog. I wanted to reply that it was merely an organic, gluten-free slice of butternut or an environmentally friendly Edamame Bean, but as there was nothing vaguely resembling anything of that ilk on my table, I was left with no alternative than to merely smile and shrug. I left soon after.


It was a hot, sunny day, so I decided to take a short walk in the local park. There hadn’t been any rain for several days and the place was beginning to resemble the Kalahari. I was sitting on one of the park’s benches when I noticed an animated group of what appeared to be students, on the grass in front of me. Intrigued, I headed over to them. A Mars Ice Cream bar eating contest was taking place. The two competitors were sitting on the grass – one a bulky, sullen looking, male Goth with a nose ring and purple painted nails, the other a very thin T-shirted student type wearing spectacles. Several Goth females and two non-Goth males served as spectators. Cheering commenced as each round of Mars Ice Cream (260 calories each) was devoured. I was informed the loser had to pay for the ice cream, which was going to mean a pretty big bill, as they were already on round eight. From the greenish hue of the Goth it was apparent that he wasn’t going to last much longer. I would have liked to stay for the finale, but I had to go to the bank.


On my way out of the park I considered that this Goth vs. Geek competition could continue with races, relays and obstacle courses. It would probably be more entertaining than the ongoing Commonwealth Games in Glasgow.

All through the meeting at the bank I was thinking about Mars Ice Cream. After leaving the bank I met a friend, who unannounced introduced me to my third culinary surprise of the day, a YouTube video of the annual Cambodian rat harvest, which quelled the desire for any Mars Ice Cream.





Leave a comment
  • Gluten free dogs – What next. I wonder what Dyson would have to say on the matter. Mars Ice Creams are pretty good. They first came on the scene when I was a small kid. I love them but they’re pretty sickly. There’s no way I could eat 8.

    • Dyson would be pretty scathing about gluten free dogs I imagine Trina. I love Mars Ice Creams. I once had three for breakfast. However I’ve been trying to keep to a healthier diet of late. Have a good weekend.

  • For what seems a very short period some time ago Mars introduced a Dark and Golden ice cream bar which was quite the best dark chocolate ice cream bar I’ve ever had.It mustn’t have proved as popular as I’d hoped since I’ve never seen it again. My mouth drools at the first sign of sunshine.

    • Perhaps the dark and golden Mars Bar ice cream will make a comeback one of these days David. It certainly sounds delicious. There’s nothing quite like sunshine and ice cream. Have a good weekend.

  • I was going to say “oh you are mischievous Guy” but that would make me sound boring and middle-aged. I can’t say I blame you though – having a gluten free dog is taking things a bit to the extreme, isn’t it?
    Ice cream Mars are wonderful but only one at a time for me. 🙂

    • Mars ice creams are indeed wonderful Diane, but pretty rich and high in calories. Forcing pets to partake in fad diets is unfortunate, but maybe Kuby will live to reap the benefits of his gluten free existence.

Leave a Reply

Copyright © 2015. Guyportman's Blog

%d bloggers like this: