Archive - August 2014

1
The Tortoise And The Hare
2
My Top 5 Most Disturbing Books
3
British Sky Broadcasting
4
Chinese Internet Censorship
5
Culinary Revelations

The Tortoise And The Hare

No doubt like many writers I find there are days when I can effortlessly write several thousand words, and others when I struggle to write anything of note. This has often led me to wonder how long it has taken famous authors to write their novels.

 HareOn The Road by Jack Kerouac – The defining text of The Beat Generation was written in only three weeks, on a 120-foot scroll of paper. In this largely autobiographical account of Kerouac’s adventures in America and Mexico, the speed of the journey is mirrored by the frenzied pace of the prose.  Click here to read my review.

The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas by John Boyne – This contemporary Irish novelist claims to have written his best selling fictional account of a boy living through the Holocaust in only two and a half days, which left him very little time to eat or sleep.

The Gambler by Fyodor Dostoyevsky – The iconic Russian author purportedly wrote this novella in only twenty-six days, which is all the more impressive when one considers that he was also working on Crime and Punishment at the same time.

The Tortoise and the Hare by Elizabeth Jenkins – This largely autobiographical account of the author’s romantic relationship with a man, who refused to leave his wife, was written in only three weeks. Jenkins has stated publicly that she has never looked at the book since.

 TortoiseCatch-22 by Joseph Heller – Based on Heller’s own experiences as a bombardier in WWII, this best-selling, satirical, anti-war novel, took the American author eight years to write. Catch-22 is frequently cited as one of the greatest literary works of the 20th century.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov – The Russian-American author’s seminal work took five years to pen. This highly controversial novel is about a man’s (Humbert Humbert) infatuation with a twelve-year-old girl called Lolita.  Click here to read my review.

The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett – Published in 1989, The Pillars of the Earth is a popular historical novel, about the building of a cathedral. The story, which is set primarily in the 12th century, took the former thriller author ten years to write.

And Ladies of the Club by Helen Hooven Santmyer – This story about a group of women, who start a study club, in a fictional town in Ohio, took its author fifty years to write. The eighty-eight year old Santmyer achieved critical acclaim when it became a best seller in 1984.

My Top 5 Most Disturbing Books

This week’s post is dedicated to the top five most disturbing books I have ever read.

 

 5 – Lolita

Lolita

Nabokov’s ornate masterpiece is about a man’s (Humbert Humbert) infatuation with a twelve-year-old girl. Lolita was regarded as so scandalous that it was rejected by a number of major publishers before its publication in 1955. If you don’t find the subject matter of Lolita disturbing, it would probably be advisable to keep it to yourself.

My Review: The protagonist, Humbert Humbert, is an intellectual with an all-consuming craving for young girls, or nymphets as he refers to them.  After his wife leaves him for … (More)

 

4 – Less Than Zero

Less Than Zero

Less Than Zero is about a privileged group of L.A. youngsters, who appear on the surface to have an idealistic life, but in reality live unrewarding and superficial existences. Though less violent and graphic than the author’s seminal work, American Psycho, Less Than Zero’s unrelenting bleakness is deeply disturbing, at least in this reader’s opinion.

My Review: Set in nineteen-eighties Los Angeles, the story follows eighteen-year-old Clay, returned home for Christmas from college in New Hampshire. Clay immediately falls back into the L.A. social scene, … (More)

 

3 – Haunted

Haunted

Haunted is a series of short stories, in which the author succeeds in not only amusing, horrifying and disgusting his readers, but also skilfully exploring a variety of themes. One of the short stories ‘Guts’, a tale of violent accidents involving masturbation, is so harrowing that during a 2003 reading by the author, it was reported that over thirty-five people fainted.

My Review: Haunted is about a group of writers, who have been assembled by the conniving Mr Whittier to attend a writers group. The location of the retreat is in an isolated theatre with no access to the outside … (More)

 

2 – American Psycho 

American Psycho

American Psycho is a satire of the yuppies culture of the 1980s. The book caused outrage when it was published due to its explicit violent and sexual content, as well as its perceived misogynistic elements. American Psycho went on to become a cult classic and one of the most influential books of the nineties.

My Review: American Psycho is a highly controversial novel that brought its young author Bret Easton Ellis instant fame. The book is written from the perspective of a young Wall Street financier, Patrick Bateman … (More)

 

 1 – The Killer Inside Me 

The Killer Inside Me

The Killer Inside Me is a thought provoking, suspenseful and unrelentingly bleak first person narrative about a psychopath, in which the author, Jim Thompson, succeeds in engrossing and disturbing the reader through the use of suspense, and realistic, simple prose. It is without doubt the most disturbing work of fiction I have read to date.

My Review: Twenty-nine-year-old Lou Ford is a Deputy Sheriff from the West Texas town of Central City. Lou, who is in a long-term relationship with childhood sweetheart Amy Stanton, … (More)

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British Sky Broadcasting

You may remember that last Friday my weekly blog post was about Chinese Internet censorship. When I woke up the following morning I went to check my WordPress blog, only to discover that I could not get into it. The problems did not end there. I was distraught to discover that all WordPress websites were blocked from my computer, this despite the fact that I was able to access other sites on the Internet with no problem. It was obvious what had occurred, the Chinese state’s censors had hacked my blog. By preventing me from accessing WordPress they were silencing my opinions in customary draconian fashion.

It transpired that this assumption couldn’t have been further from the truth. On phoning my provider (Sky) I was informed that it was due to a problem with the server.

SkyUnable to perform my WordPress duties, I turned my attention to other administrative tasks, starting with a still unopened letter from my satellite television provider – Sky. I knew what the letter was going to say before I even opened it. It was another price hike. These seem to arrive every other month these days. The accompanying letter outlined the rationale for the price increase. It promised that there would be yet more American serials. That settled it. I am cancelling.

Companies such as Sky seem to be particularly adept at meeting a want, and then when they have your custom becoming the face of total need. Well not for me, not any more. I only had it for the football anyway.

 Television

Television has become like a ladder in recent years. The first rung is the compulsory, overpriced BBC licence fee that you don’t want, after which you proceed to the second rung – the Sky/cable television package, then it is the extra channels, then the 3D package. But you haven’t reached the top yet, and you can’t turn back now, after you’ve climbed all this way. The next rung is pay per view. As television becomes interactive, more rungs are going to be added until the ladder reaches to infinity. I have been climbing this ladder towards heaven, only to find that redemption is merely an illusion. Only now have I realised this.

Fortunately there are books, and if I am desperate my friend’s Netflix account.

Chinese Internet Censorship

Since starting this WordPress.com blog in early 2012, I have welcomed visitors from a multitude of countries, including Azerbaijan, Botswana, Mauritius and Guernsey (Yes Guernsey is a country according to WordPress). I am still waiting for the first intrepid Beninese and Togolese explorers to discover my blog, and to date there have been no visits from North Korea – perhaps not surprising considering the Internet is merely a rumour for much of the country’s population.

There has yet to be a single visitor from the People’s Republic of China (Population: 1.366 billion, 19% of World’s population). This probably has something to do with the fact that WordPress.com is usually blocked in China. Other popular websites that are blocked in China include Twitter, Facebook, Xhamster (pornography website), and even The New York Times. The ban now also extends to beards, at least on public transport in Xinjiang, in the restless far west of the country.

China

Yesterday I spent some time perusing the Chinese Amazon website. I found a number of controversial books there, including Palahniuk’s anarchist work, Fight Club, and Bret Easton Ellis’s ultra-violent American Psycho. Chinese residents planning to buy a copy of the Dalai Lama’s autobiography will be left disappointed, as will any Chinese Brad Pitt fans hoping to get the DVD of Seven Years In Tibet.

I even found my humorous tale of the unexpected, Charles Middleworth. There was no sign of my latest book, the satirical, black comedy, Necropolis. Perhaps I would be flattering myself if I were to think Necropolis has raised the ire of the Chinese censors, but at any rate any hopes I harboured of Necropolis becoming a 21st Century Little Red Book have had to be put on hold for now.

 Censored

Last night lying in bed, unable to get to sleep, I took to thinking about what English language search terms I might think twice about entering into a search engine, if I was a Chinese resident. I came up with these:

#OrganHarvesting #FreeTibet #UighurDissident #FalunGong

 #FoodScandal #DalaiLama #XinjiangRiots #BearBile

Were you to search for these terms in China, you might well be looking over your shoulder whilst travelling clean-shaven on a public bus, or munching on an expired Big Mac at McDonalds.

 

 

 

Culinary Revelations

Last Wednesday – Pret a Manger.  Underneath the adjacent table was a small, inquisitive King Charles Spaniel, attached to a lead. A floral-frocked lady was clasping the end of the lead in one hand whilst nibbling on what appeared to be a Teriyaki salmon salad. She was informing her companion of the perils of gluten, a conversation that I seem to be hearing increasingly regularly these days. However, I was somewhat surprised when she announced that her dog Kuby was now gluten-free.

I couldn’t resist putting this to the test by surreptitiously throwing pieces of bread from my Swedish meatball wrap in Kuby’s direction. Kuby devoured them greedily. A third glutinous threat was mid-air when the lady turning abruptly towards me, demanded to know what I was giving her dog. I wanted to reply that it was merely an organic, gluten-free slice of butternut or an environmentally friendly Edamame Bean, but as there was nothing vaguely resembling anything of that ilk on my table, I was left with no alternative than to merely smile and shrug. I left soon after.

Gluten-Free

It was a hot, sunny day, so I decided to take a short walk in the local park. There hadn’t been any rain for several days and the place was beginning to resemble the Kalahari. I was sitting on one of the park’s benches when I noticed an animated group of what appeared to be students, on the grass in front of me. Intrigued, I headed over to them. A Mars Ice Cream bar eating contest was taking place. The two competitors were sitting on the grass – one a bulky, sullen looking, male Goth with a nose ring and purple painted nails, the other a very thin T-shirted student type wearing spectacles. Several Goth females and two non-Goth males served as spectators. Cheering commenced as each round of Mars Ice Cream (260 calories each) was devoured. I was informed the loser had to pay for the ice cream, which was going to mean a pretty big bill, as they were already on round eight. From the greenish hue of the Goth it was apparent that he wasn’t going to last much longer. I would have liked to stay for the finale, but I had to go to the bank.

Mars

On my way out of the park I considered that this Goth vs. Geek competition could continue with races, relays and obstacle courses. It would probably be more entertaining than the ongoing Commonwealth Games in Glasgow.

All through the meeting at the bank I was thinking about Mars Ice Cream. After leaving the bank I met a friend, who unannounced introduced me to my third culinary surprise of the day, a YouTube video of the annual Cambodian rat harvest, which quelled the desire for any Mars Ice Cream.

 

 

 

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