Authors | Guy Portman's Blog

Amazon’s Review Purge

Jun 15 2018

It has been a worrying week for authors, what with Amazon’s ongoing Stalinesque review purge. Many authors have had reviews removed for their books, and some have lost all their reviews. For authors who have spent in many instances years gathering reviews, this is deeply distressing. The #giveourreviewsback hashtag has been trending on Twitter.

Amazon’s review writing rules change periodically. They now forbid anyone connected to the author (i.e. family members) writing a review. In addition they don’t permit review exchange services, and those who want to leave a review have to have spent x amount on the regional Amazon concerned. I think $50. Whilst this is fair enough many authors have complained they are having ‘genuine’ reviews removed.

To date (cue touch wood), I have only had a handful of reviews removed. My concern and many others is that Amazon has now frozen our accounts, meaning we cannot receive reviews in the future. I am suspicious about the absence of new reviews for the first two instalments in my Necropolis trilogy. I am currently awaiting a response from Amazon about this. Fingers crossed it is okay because the alternative does not bear thinking about.

Here is a picture of my dog. Something outside had caught his attention. Either a bird or the Amazon delivery man. As I heard footsteps approaching I told myself, It’s not the Amazon delivery man’s fault.

I hope you are all enjoying the World Cup. I just got this Panini World Cup Italia 90 inspired mug from Sainsbury’s. It is bringing back a lot of childhood memories.

If you are looking for reading recommendations might I suggest you check out the book review section of my blog. You will find 131 of my reviews there.

Transgressive Fiction: A History (Part 2)

Mar 23 2018

For those not familiar with this literary form Transgressive literature is a genre that focuses on characters who feel confined by the norms and expectations of society and who break free of those confines in unusual and/or illicit ways …(more)

The following recent and contemporary Transgressive authors are presented in chronological order. Click on the book links to read my reviews.

Charles Bukowski

August 16th 1920 – March 9th 1994

Notable Transgressive Works: Post Office, Women, Ham on Rye

Charles Bukowski’s visceral writing was heavily influenced by his home city of Los Angeles. He wrote about disillusionment, alcohol consumption, women, a loathing of authority and the dehumanising nature of low-level employment. His seminal work, Post Office, is a semi-autobiographical account of his years of drudgery at the post office.

Hunter S. Thompson

July 18th 1937 – February 20th 2005

Notable Transgressive Works: Hells Angels, Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas, The Rum Diary

Hunter S. Thompson was a controversial author and journalist with a penchant for alcohol, drugs and guns. The Gonzo Journalist’s most famous work, the cult classic, Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas, is about a journalist and his attorney consuming a vast array of pharmaceuticals in Las Vegas.

Irvine Welsh

Born: September 27th 1958

Notable Transgressive Works: Trainspotting, The Acid House, Skagboys, Filth, Porno

Controversial themes in Welsh’s writing include drug abuse, soccer hooliganism, sexual perversion, inner city poverty and brutality. His first book, Trainspotting, is about Scottish housing scheme dwelling heroin addicts. Filth has a tapeworm afflicted, misanthropic, corrupt policeman as its protagonist.

Bret Easton Ellis

Born: March 7th 1964

Notable Transgressive Works: Less Than Zero, American Psycho, Glamorama, The Informers

Disillusioned, nihilistic and even sociopathic characters are the staple of cult author Bret Easton Ellis’s books. His most infamous work, American Psycho, caused outrage even before it was published, as many in the literary establishment were disgusted with the sexual violence and what some viewed as the misogynistic nature of its contents.

Chuck Palahniuk

Born: February 21st 1962

Notable Transgressive Works: Fight Club, Haunted, Choke, Invisible Monsters, Rant

Palahniuk has constantly courted controversy with the dark and disturbing content of his books. His seminal work Fight Club is brimming with violence and nihilism. His most scandalous work, Haunted, is often voted in polls as one of the most disturbing books ever written.

Transgressive Fiction: A History

Mar 09 2018

Transgressive fiction is a genre that focuses on characters who feel confined by the norms and expectations of society and who break free of those confines in unusual and/or illicit ways. Protagonists in Transgressive literature are in one form or other rebelling against society. Due to this they may appear to be anti-social, nihilistic or even sociopathic. Transgressive literature deals with potentially controversial subjects …

Though fiction of this kind has only relatively recently been labelled as Transgressive, its origins lie in the literature of the past. The writing of the Marquis de Sade, Émile Zola and even Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s seminal work, Crime and Punishment, have been described as Transgressive. But it was the following 20th Century authors who came to be viewed as the early exponents of the genre.

James Joyce

February 2nd 1882 – January 13th 1941

Notable Transgressive Work: Ulysses

James Joyce was a central figure in the modernist avant-garde. His seminal work, Ulysses, embraced a revolutionary stream of consciousness style that influenced many later writers. At the time of its publication, the book’s masturbation scene was viewed as so scandalous that it was the subject of an obscenity trial.

D. H. Lawrence

September 11th 1885 – March 2nd 1930

Notable Transgressive Works: Lady Chatterley’s Lover, The Rainbow

Lady Chatterley’s Lover, though published was heavily censored, due to what was regarded at the time as its pornographic content. Thirty years after Lawrence’s death Penguin attempted to publish the original version, but were forced to go to trial because of the ‘Obscene Publications Act’ of the previous year.

Vladimir Nabokov

April 22nd 1899 – July 2nd 1977

Notable Transgressive Work: Lolita

Nabokov’s most famous work, Lolita, is widely regarded as one of the greatest novels of the 20th Century. It is also considered one of the most controversial books of all time because of its sensitive subject matter – the protagonist Humbert Humbert’s infatuation with a twelve-year-old girl.

William S. Burroughs

February 5th 1914 – August 2nd 1997

Notable Transgressive Works: Junky, Queer, The Soft Machine, Naked Lunch

Burroughs was a controversial character who rebelled against the social norms of his era by writing about disillusionment, drugs and homosexuality. The non-linear Naked Lunch was perceived as so scandalous at the time of its publication that it underwent a court case under U.S. obscenity laws.

To be continued …

20 More Quotes About Writing

Feb 23 2018

This week’s post is dedicated to 20 writing-related quotes that have not previously been featured on my blog.

To write, or to Netflix. That is the question – Kat Myley

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have “plans” – Mike Birbiglia

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it – Winston Churchill

The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering – Tom Waits

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere – S.J. Perelman

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous – Robert Benchley

Drowning in my own words with only a semicolon as a lifeboat – Jessica Baumgartner

I don’t need an alarm clock. My ideas wake me — Ray Bradbury, WD

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it — Elmore Leonard

An original writer is not one who imitates nobody, but one whom nobody can imitate – François-René de Chateaubriand

He’d heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true – Terry Pratchett, Snuff

Not all writers are silently suffering inside. But it certainly helps – Joyce Rachelle

Sadly, there are writers who wouldn’t know an umlaut from an omelet – Kevin Ansbro

The only impeccable writers are those who never wrote – William Hazlitt

For writers it is always said that the first twenty years of life contain the whole of experience – the rest is observation – Graham Greene

Writing romantic fiction is the second chance that loved ones denied us – Shannon L. Alder

Don’t break a writer’s heart and think ink won’t spill – Ming D. Liu

Writer’s block’ is just a fancy way of saying ‘I don’t feel like doing any work today – Meagan Spooner

Writing should beguile us, not just take us from A to B to Zzzzz – Kevin Ansbro

Even on the silent days, believe your ship will come – Shana Chartier

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20 Quotes About Writing

Feb 02 2018

Here are 20 writing-related quotes. I hope these will amuse and/or inspire my fellow writers.

You know you should be writing. Get off Twitter – Yvette Kate Willemse

Grammar, you’re the pickiest noun I know – Buffy Andrews

Writers, like teeth, are divided into incisors and grinders – Walter Bagehot

Pen-bereavement is a serious matter – Anne Fadiman

Discipline is the bridge between a great idea and a completed novel – T. N. Suarez

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. I say its closer to 675 or 700 – A. E. Samaan

He carried a pencil that put a camera to shame – E. B. White

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind —Patrick Dennis

You cannot write unless you write much – W. Somerset Maugham

Those who write are writers. Those who wait are waiters – A. Lee Martinez

The more you leave out, the more you highlight what you leave in – Henry Green

The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress — Philip Roth

Before publishers’ blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing – Laurence J. Peter

Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard – Daphne du Maurier

Not a wasted word. This has been a main point to my literary thinking all my life —Hunter S. Thompson

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory – Franklin P. Jones

The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair – Mary Heaton Vorse

Writers don’t have lifestyles. They sit in little rooms and write – Norman Mailer

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write – Saul Bellow

Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good – Dr. Samuel Johnson, to an aspiring writer

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If Authors Were Desserts

Jan 26 2018

Here are twelve authors and the desserts that in my opinion they/their writing corresponds to.

Norman Mailer

Mailer

Cultural criticism, controversy and obscenity were hallmarks of this volatile and violent author.

Corresponding dessert: Fruitcake

Fruit Cake

Rationale: Self-explanatory

Stephanie Meyer

Meyer

Meyer is a young-adult fiction writer responsible for the vampire romance series Twilight.

Corresponding dessert: Sponge Cake

sponge cake

Rationale: It might look like a cake, feel like a cake and smell like a cake, but on taking a bite one realises it’s mostly just air.

Vladimir Nabokov

Nabokov

The intellectual Russian born Nabokov utilised an ornate prose style.

Corresponding dessert: Deconstructed S’more

Deconstructed Smores

Rationale: This sophisticated, deconstructed extravagance contains chocolate-coated cereal garnishes, caramelised vanilla marshmallow and more besides.

L. Ron Hubbard

Hubbard

The Scientology founder wrote numerous Sci-Fi and psychotherapy books.

Corresponding dessert: Waffle

Rationale: The content of Scientology’s doctrine.

Ambrose Bierce

Corresponding dessert: Lemon sorbet

Rationale: Few desserts are more acerbic.

Anne Rice

Rice

The Vampire Chronicles creator is one of the best-selling writers in recent American history.

Corresponding dessert: Jelly

Jelly

Rationale: Right-minded adults steer clear of this puerile dessert.

Bret Easton Ellis

Easton-Ellis

Easton Ellis is a master of social commentary. Much of his writing features vapid, soulless characters.

Corresponding dessert: Lemon Sorbet

lemon

Rationale: This cold, astringent dessert isn’t for everyone. I rather like it.

Dan Brown

Brown

Brown has sold more than 200 million of his mystery/conspiracy novels.

Corresponding dessert: Ring-Shaped Donut

Doughnut

Rationale: These deep-fried snacks have a gaping hole in the middle.

Agatha Christie

Agatha Christie

English crime novelist Agatha Christie is the best-selling author of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Tunnock’s Teacake

Tea Cake

Rationale: One has to first unwrap the packaging and then bite through the outer layer to reveal what lies beneath.

E. L. James

ELJAmes

Erotica novelist E. L. James is one of the World’s best-selling authors.

Corresponding dessert: Cheesecake

cheese

Rationale: Many, including yours truly, are of the opinion that cheese and cake should not be mixed.

Leo Tolstoy

Tolstoy

Iconic Russian writer Tolstoy is best-remembered for his opuses Anna Karenina and War And Peace.

Corresponding dessert: Heavy Cake

Heavy Cake

Rationale: Heavy Cake is dense and requires a lot of chewing, but it tastes good.

Sidney Sheldon

Sidney Sheldon

Chick lit/Thriller author Sheldon is the one of the best-selling authors of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Wafer

Wafer

Rationale: With their primary ingredient being air, wafers won’t satisfy one’s hunger.

Dark Humour At Its Finest

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20 Bizarre Author-Related Facts

Oct 13 2017

In recent years I have dedicated a number of blog posts to the topic of bizarre author-related trivia. Here are 20 of the most bizarre author facts I have come across to date.

Modernist writer Katherine Mansfield wore a mourning dress to her own wedding.

Zadie Smith spent the best part of 2 years writing and rewriting the first 20 pages of her novel, On Beauty.

William Burroughs accidentally killed his partner Joan Vollmer by shooting her in the head.

There is an asteroid named after Kurt Vonnegut.

J.R.R. Tolkien typed the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy with two fingers.

Dr Seuss included the word ‘contraceptive’ in a draft of his children’s book Hop on Pop to make sure the publisher was concentrating.

It took Helen Hooven Santmyer 50 years to pen And Ladies of the Club.

Dan Brown is a fan of inversion therapy He often hangs upside down in antigravity boots because he claims it helps him relax.

John Boyne claims to have written The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas in only 2 and a half days.

ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG-ANDERSON is the author of Birth Control Is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and Also Robbing God of Priesthood. Every letter in the book capitalised.

Helen Hoover Santymeyer was 88 when her seminal work And Ladies of the Club was published.

John Steinbeck — Steinbeck was obsessed with pencils, particularly Blackwing 602’s.

American music critic and author Gustav Kobbé’s was out sailing when a seaplane misjudged its descent and struck his boat, killing him.

Vladimir Nabokov had a fixation with index cards. The majority of his novels were written out on cards with a pencil.

Dorothy Parker’s epitaph reads, Excuse my dust

Victor T. Cheney is the author of Castration: The Advantages and the Disadvantages.

In 1912 Ambrose Bierce invented 1 of the earliest emoticons, the snigger point, written as \ ___ /! It was designed to look like a smiling mouth.

Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables contains a sentence that is 823 words long.

Jane Austen never married, but she was engaged for 1 night. She accepted the proposal of marriage 2 weeks prior to her 27th birthday. Austen changed her mind the next day.

Billy Wilder epitaph is, I’m a writer but then nobody’s perfect

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Authors As Desserts VI

Oct 06 2017

This week I have been hard at work on my fourth novel, Sepultura. It is the sequel to my black comedy, Necropolis.

I have also written the sixth instalment in my series; authors and the desserts that in my opinion they/their writing corresponds to. Here are 8 authors and their corresponding desserts.

James Patterson

Patterson is one of the best-selling authors of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Vanilla ice-cream

Rationale: Vanilla ice-cream might not be the most enthralling dessert in the world, but many of us eat it all the same.

Emily Dickinson

This prolific American poet and recluse had a penchant for baking.

Corresponding dessert: Hermit Cookies

Paulo Coelho

Coelho is the best-selling Portuguese language author of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Pastel de nata

Rationale: This egg tart pastry dessert is extremely popular throughout the Portuguese-speaking world.

Helen Fielding

Chick lit author Fielding penned Bridget Jones’s Diary.

Corresponding dessert: Pink Cupcakes

Rationale: Pink cupcakes are so pretty you almost don’t want to eat them.

Jim Thompson

Jim Thompson is one of the greatest ‘pulp’ authors of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Mango Pulp

Rationale: This dessert might be pulp but it tastes sweet.

Charles Dickens

Harrowing realism was the order of the day for England’s greatest ever author.

Corresponding dessert: Dessert porridge

Thomas Hardy

Hardy was an English novelist and poet best known for Tess of the d’Ubervilles and Far from the Madding Crowd.

Corresponding dessert: Black Rice Pudding

Rationale: This dessert might be unabated in its blackness but it tastes good.

Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter’s seven best-sellers include Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right and If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans.

Corresponding dessert: Cobblers

Authors As Desserts V

Sep 15 2017

It has been quite some time since I dedicated a post to the topic of authors and the desserts that in my opinion they/their writing corresponds to. Here are 8 authors and their corresponding desserts.

Karl Marx

Corresponding dessert: Guriev Porridge

Rationale: It is widely believed that this frugal Russian dessert was invented by a serf chef.

Ambrose Bierce

Corresponding dessert: Lemon sorbet

Rationale: Few desserts are more acerbic.

Barbara Cartland

Corresponding dessert: Valentine’s Cookies

Rationale: These pink, heart-shaped morsels all taste the same.

James Joyce

Corresponding dessert: Perfect St. Patrick’s Day Cake

Rationale: This decadent, multi-layered cake is made from Guinness, Irish Cream and bittersweet chocolate.

Franz Kafka

Corresponding dessert: Sourdough Cake

Rationale: This dessert offering might not taste sweet, but it does taste good.

Sophie Kinsella

Corresponding dessert: Pink Waffle

Rationale: Pretty, pink desserts containing little more than air are not for everyone.

Jane Austen

Corresponding dessert: Lemon Drizzle Cake

Rationale: This traditional English offering is bitter yet appetising.

Jilly Cooper

Corresponding dessert: Jam Roly Poly

Rationale: This warm, sticky dessert is a staple of the English upper classes.

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A Black Comedy of True Distinction

15 Author Quotes about Ebooks

Jul 28 2017

It was not so long ago that some were predicting that the end was nigh for printed books. However, in the UK at least, it is being reported that ebook sales are now declining whilst sales of printed books are on the rise.

The other day I came across this excellent quote by Stephen Fry (see below) about Kindle. This got me thinking about what my fellow authors think about ebooks/ebook readers. On conducting some research I discovered these perceptive and amusing author quotes on the subject. Here are 15 author quotes about ebooks/ebook readers:

Books are no more threatened by Kindle than stairs by elevators. — Stephen Fry

Lovers of print are simply confusing the plate for the food. — Douglas Adams

It seems to me that anyone whose library consists of a Kindle lying on a table is some sort of bloodless nerd. — Penelope Lively

Life without a Kindle is like life without a library nearby. — Franz S. McLaren, Home Lost

Growing up in the digital age, I’m expected to embrace all forms of modern technology with blissful ignorance. Books were always one of few escapes from this, because reading a book means not having to look at another damned glowing screen… — Rebecca McNutt

F@@k them is what I say. I hate those ebooks. They can not be the future. They may well be. I will be dead. I won’t give a s@@t. — Maurice Sendak

I guess you can call me “old fashioned”. I prefer the book with the pages that you can actually turn. Sure, I may have to lick the tip of my fingers so that the pages don’t stick together… — Felicia Johnson

Have they all bought Kindles? I have one, and I use it most nights. I always imagine the books staring and whispering, Traitor! – but come on, I have a lot of free first chapters to get through. — Robin Sloan

Stock complaints about the inherent pleasure of ye olde format are bandied about whenever some new upstart invention comes along. Each moan is nothing more than a little foetus of nostalgia jerking in your gut. — Charlie Brooker

If e-book readers were invented before print books, (petty things such as) the smell of ink would have been some people’s only reason for not abandoning e-books. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

They’ll get my Kindle when they pry it from my cold dead hands, if my corpse will release it. — Elizabeth Horton-Newton

Electronic books are ideal for people who value the information contained in them, or who have vision problems, or who like to read on the subway, or who do not want other people to see how they are amusing themselves, or who have storage and clutter issues, but they are useless for people who are engaged in an intense, lifelong love affair with books… — Joe Queenan, One for the Books

If you drop a book into the toilet, you can fish it out, dry it off and read that book. But if you drop your Kindle in the toilet, you’re pretty well done. — Stephen King

You don’t see people getting pulled over by the police for reading ebooks on their smartphones. — Jason Merkoski

How do you press a wildflower into the pages of an e-book? — Lewis Buzbee, The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop: A Memoir, a History

Category - Authors

Amazon’s Review Purge

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Transgressive Fiction: A History (Part 2)

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Transgressive Fiction: A History

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20 More Quotes About Writing

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20 Quotes About Writing

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If Authors Were Desserts

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20 Bizarre Author-Related Facts

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Authors As Desserts VI

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Authors As Desserts V

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15 Author Quotes about Ebooks

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