Black Comedy | Guy Portman's Blog

Sepultura Blurb Reveal

Dec 08 2017

My fourth novel, Sepultura, is being released on January 11th. It is the sequel to my satirical black comedy, Necropolis. Today, I am pleased to reveal Sepultura’s blurb:

A sociopath can only keep up a façade for so long.

Dyson Devereux is a busy man, with a challenging new job at Paleham Council and a young son. He would be coping just fine were it not for crass colleagues, banal bureaucracy and contemptible clothes. He is not going to take it lying down.

Because beneath Dyson’s charming, Italian delicacy-consuming veneer lurks something sinister. As his personal and professional lives threaten to spiral out of control, will Dyson’s true nature be revealed?

Compulsive and brimming with satirical wit, Sepultura is a caustic black comedy featuring an unforgettable sociopath.

“My kind of black comedy. You’ll either love Dyson, or love to hate him” — Sandra Seymour, Author of Breed: Slayer

“A satirical gem” — Reader

“Sociopathic comedy at its best” — Adam Riley, Comedian

Sepultura’s front cover will be unveiled next week.

Necropolis Has A New Blurb

Nov 10 2017

My fourth novel, Sepultura, is being released on January 11th. It is the sequel to the satirical black comedy, Necropolis. Today, I am pleased to share with you Necropolis’s new blurb. I believe it is a better representation of the book than the old one. I hope you like it.

What is a sociopath to do?

Dyson Devereux’s life appears to be on track. He has a way with the ladies, impeccable good taste, and as the recently promoted head of Burials and Cemeteries at Newton Borough Council, a job that demands respect.

But Dyson is becoming annoyed with his drug-addled girlfriend’s decline, fed up with his banal work colleagues, and incensed by Newton New Cemetery’s gaudy memorial structures.

When Dyson suspects someone of having a darker past than him, he has a chance for redemption. Will he seize it, or is his destiny to be a life of toil in Burials and Cemeteries?

Brutal, bleak and darkly comical, Necropolis is a savage indictment of the politically correct, health and safety obsessed public sector.

‘… a magnificent foray into the mind of a sociopath’ – DLS Reviews

‘The book is full of razor-sharp satire’ – Crime Fiction Lover

‘… a mix between The Office and American Psycho’ – Amazon Reviewer

Click here to see the reviews and ratings for Necropolis on Goodreads.

Sepultura

Jul 14 2017

I am pleased to announce that my fourth novel, Sepultura, will be released on Saturday, December 2nd. Sepultura is the sequel to the satirical, black comedy, Necropolis. It sees the return of Necropolis’s sociopathic protagonist Dyson Devereux. I will be revealing more information over the forthcoming months.

For a limited time only I am continuing to offer a free copy of Sepultura’s prequel Necropolis to everyone who signs up to my newsletter. Click here to do so.

Click here to see the 46 reviews and ratings for Necropolis on Goodreads.

A black comedy of true distinction

Dyson works for the Burials and Cemeteries department in his local council. Dyson is intelligent, incisive and informed. He is also a sociopath…

Here are a few snippets from Necropolis:

To look upon Irene is to stare into a looking glass, into a world of cheap retail outlets, suburban cul-de-sacs, Sky television itineraries, frozen Iceland trifles and Co-operative Funeralcare plans.

To my left a Lithuanian gravedigger idly picks his nose. To my right a mortician plays Sonic on his iPhone. Next to him a bereavement councillor’s afro-styled head lulls to one side. In the row in front a morgue rat, his head resting against his shoulder, snores loudly, a stream of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth.

Alice, not his real name, works in the mailroom. I call him Alice because he looks just like the ageing rocker, Alice Cooper. Like the real Alice he sports a mane of black hair and wizened, heavily lined features, but for record sales read envelopes…

Necropolis is Now On Sale

Jun 24 2016

Necropolis is 99c/99p for today and only (24th). Usual price: $3.35/£2.29.

Necropolis is a satirical black comedy about a sociopath. It is my second novel.

Necropolis

The blurb:

A black comedy of true distinction

Dyson Devereux works in the Burials and Cemeteries department in his local council. Dyson is intelligent, incisive and informed. He is also a sociopath. Dyson’s contempt for the bureaucracy and banality of his workplace provides ample refuge for his mordant wit. But the prevalence of Essex Cherubs adorning the headstones of Newton New Cemetery is starting to get on his nerves.

When an opportunity presents itself will Dyson seize his chance and find freedom, or is his destiny to be a life of toil in Burials and Cemeteries?

Click here to read Crime Fiction Lover’s 5/5 star review (warning: contains some spoilers). Crime Fiction Lover is Britain’s largest and most prestigious Crime Fiction review site.

Necropolis has 42 reviews/ratings on Goodreads. Click here to see them.

Here are 2 short snippets:

It is the usual Halloween meets council workers scene – ubiquitous witches and black cats, a smattering of demons with horned-headbands, some carrying cheap plastic pitch-forks. In the far corner two finance workers wrapped in black cloaks, hold Scream film series inspired, white ghost masks to their faces…

The sale is for today only, so hurry why stocks last. Actually on second thoughts ebook stocks can’t run out. But the price will be returning to normal on the 25th ($3.35/£2.29).

Here are the links:

Amazon.com (99c)

Amazon.co.uk (99p)

Necropolis is also available in paperback.

My Year In Books

Dec 26 2014

This time last year I devoted a blog post to the books that I had read in 2013. I have decided to do the same for 2014. In addition to releasing my second novel, the satirical black comedy Necropolis, I read 34 books.

Here is a breakdown of the books I read in 2014. Click on the links to read my reviews.

Non Fiction

If you are interested in African history you might like:

King Leopold’s Ghost by Adam Hochschild – The Belgian King, Leopold II, had grown envious of his European neighbours’ portfolio of colonies, and longed for a colony that he could call his own… (More)

Classics

I read a couple of books that could be termed Classics in 2014, including:

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

The Brother Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Transgressive Fiction

Click here for a definition of Transgressive fiction. Here are 3 very different Transgressive novels that might be of interest if you haven’t read them already.

High Rise by J. G. Ballard

Post Office by Charles Bukowski

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

Black Comedy

I read a couple of books that could be termed black comedies, including:

Death and The Penguin by Andrey Kurkov – Kiev resident and journalist Viktor lives in a small flat with Misha, his pet Emperor Penguin, purchased from the near destitute city zoo…(More)

I also wrote a black comedy, which I would highly recommend.

Necropolis by Guy Portman – Dyson Devereux is Head of Burials and Cemeteries for the local council … (Click here to read Crime Fiction Lover’s review of Necropolis)

Crime Fiction

I read a fair bit of Crime fiction in 2014 including:

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

Chasing The Game by Paul Gadsby

Slur by Diane Mannion

Real Crime

The best Real Crime book that I read this year was Helter Skelter. It is about the Manson murders.

Helter Skelter by Vincent Bugliosi – In one of the most infamous mass murders in history, Sharon Tate, the Hollywood actress and pregnant wife of film director Roman Polanski, is brutally slain in her home,…(More)

Best Novella

The Old Man and The Sea by Ernest Hemingway – Set in the Gulf Stream off the coast of Cuba, this is a tale about an old man, a boy and a colossal Marlin…(More)

The Old Man And The Sea

Books about Drug Addiction

I read some good books about drug addiction in 2014 and some not so good ones. I would highly recommend these 3:

Junky by William S. Burroughs

Wasting Talent by Ryan Leone

Novel with Cocaine by M. Ageyev

Biggest Disappointments

I am a big fan of Easton Ellis and Palahniuk, but these two books failed to meet my lofty expectations.

Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis

Doomed by Chuck Palahniuk

Favourite Book

Post Office by Charles Bukowski – Henry Chinaski is a heavy drinking, womanising, race track frequenting low-life, who works at the post office. The story follows his menial existence of twelve-hour night shifts, sorting post, …(More)

My Top 5 Most Disturbing Books

Aug 22 2014

This week’s post is dedicated to the top five most disturbing books I have ever read.

5 – Lolita

Nabokov’s ornate masterpiece is about a man’s (Humbert Humbert) infatuation with a twelve-year-old girl. Lolita was regarded as so scandalous that it was rejected by a number of major publishers before its publication in 1955. If you don’t find the subject matter of Lolita disturbing, it would probably be advisable to keep it to yourself.

My Review: The protagonist, Humbert Humbert, is an intellectual with an all-consuming craving for young girls, or nymphets as he refers to them. After his wife leaves him for … (More)

4 – Less Than Zero

Less Than Zero is about a privileged group of L.A. youngsters, who appear on the surface to have an idealistic life, but in reality live unrewarding and superficial existences. Though less violent and graphic than the author’s seminal work, American Psycho, Less Than Zero’s unrelenting bleakness is deeply disturbing, at least in this reader’s opinion.

My Review: Set in nineteen-eighties Los Angeles, the story follows eighteen-year-old Clay, returned home for Christmas from college in New Hampshire. Clay immediately falls back into the L.A. social scene, … (More)

3 – Haunted

Haunted is a series of short stories, in which the author succeeds in not only amusing, horrifying and disgusting his readers, but also skilfully exploring a variety of themes. One of the short stories ‘Guts’, a tale of violent accidents involving masturbation, is so harrowing that during a 2003 reading by the author, it was reported that over thirty-five people fainted.

My Review: Haunted is about a group of writers, who have been assembled by the conniving Mr Whittier to attend a writers group. The location of the retreat is in an isolated theatre with no access to the outside … (More)

2 – American Psycho

American Psycho is a satire of the yuppies culture of the 1980s. The book caused outrage when it was published due to its explicit violent and sexual content, as well as its perceived misogynistic elements. American Psycho went on to become a cult classic and one of the most influential books of the nineties.

My Review: American Psycho is a highly controversial novel that brought its young author Bret Easton Ellis instant fame. The book is written from the perspective of a young Wall Street financier, Patrick Bateman … (More)

1 – The Killer Inside Me

The Killer Inside Me

The Killer Inside Me is a thought provoking, suspenseful and unrelentingly bleak first person narrative about a psychopath, in which the author, Jim Thompson, succeeds in engrossing and disturbing the reader through the use of suspense, and realistic, simple prose. It is without doubt the most disturbing work of fiction I have read to date.

My Review: Twenty-nine-year-old Lou Ford is a Deputy Sheriff from the West Texas town of Central City. Lou, who is in a long-term relationship with childhood sweetheart Amy Stanton, … (More)

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New Curtains and Blinds

May 30 2014

Tuesday Morning – The new curtains and blinds finally arrive. It seems an eternity ago that I ordered them, probably because it was. An hour or so later curtains and blinds have been erected downstairs. They look great, well worth the wait.

The fitter is putting the finishing touches to the Roman Blind when I walk into the upstairs room that serves as my study. I like it. He explains that it is the legal requirement that the string pulley system be at least 150cm from the ground. This is to prevent youngsters becoming entangled and potentially strangled by the string. He demonstrates the height with a measuring tape, then hands me a form to sign. The form states something to the effect that the fitting is in keeping with European standards for blind and shutter safety regulation EN13120:2009+A1:2014.

I shake my head glumly and say, ‘Perhaps I should have told you this earlier. My doctor has exempted me from all EN13120:2009 blind and shutter regulations.’

‘You have a what?’ replies the man in a surprised tone.

‘An exemption. You see a pulley system with fittings in excess of 120cm in height poses a potential threat to my wellbeing. I’m an asphyxiation fetishist you see.’

‘Excuse me.’

‘An asphyxiation fetishist.’

‘What’re those?’

‘Asphyxiation fetishists, or gaspers as they are commonly referred to in the trade, are people who get sexual gratification from the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain.’ My gaze never leaves his face as I say this, and there is not even the faintest flicker of a smile.

‘No, I err don’t know anything about that’, replies the courteous, professional, if rather timorous man.

I stride up to the blind and wrap the string around my neck. Now I’m smiling.

‘Don’t do that,’ he replies holding his arms out.

‘I’ll have to phone the shop,’ he says. ‘Do you have a doctor’s certificate? The shop might need a copy for their files.’

‘Don’t worry I’ll sign it, but be warned, if it results in misadventure this will be landing on your doorstep.’

Having signed the form I hand it back to him, thinking that perhaps I should tell him that I’m joking, as I’m feeling increasingly embarrassed. However it is evidently far, far too late for that. After refusing the offer of a cup of tea he completed the erection of the blind in the final room in less than half the time it took him to do any of the others. Then he was packing up his tools at a frenetic pace and heading out the door. I was surprised that he never questioned my preposterous and irrational lie. After all would a lower pulley system really prevent a gasper’s activities, and at any rate wouldn’t they consider ordering curtains instead. I put it down to the fact that when we are in a state of shock we often don’t think rationally, and simply go into panic mode.

The curtains and blinds look fantastic.

Necropolis Launch

Apr 24 2014

I am pleased to announce that Necropolis is now available from all regional Amazons in paperback and Kindle. Necropolis is a humorous work of dark fiction about a sociopath, who works for the Burials and Cemeteries department in his local council.

Crime Fiction Lover (Britain’s largest and most prestigious crime Fiction review site) has awarded Necropolis 5 out of 5 stars. Click here to read the review (warning: contains some spoilers).

If you haven’t seen it already this is the blurb for Necropolis:

When an opportunity presents itself will Dyson seize his chance and find freedom, or is his destiny to be a life of toil in Burials and Cemeteries?

Brutal, bleak and darkly comical, Necropolis is a savage indictment of the politically correct, health and safety obsessed world in which we live.

‘Not only a funny, twisted, erudite satire on the psychopath genre, this novel also boasts a compelling plot and finely sculpted characters’

‘A black comedy of true distinction’

‘I was at once fascinated and disturbed by the devious Dyson Devereux with his malicious pedantry, wicked schemes and grotesque good taste. A barbed joy’

Amazon.co.uk – Paperback: £6.99 Kindle: £2.22

Amazon.com – Paperback: $10.52 Kindle: $3.73

I would like to take this opportunity to thank author, writing professional and friend Diane Mannion (@Dydywriter) for her expertise, encouragement and support. And thank you Adam (@Alayerdim) for all the erudite book reviews you have contributed to this blog, and for your assistance with my two books.

Necropolis Countdown

Apr 18 2014

There is only one ~~week~~ Day to go until the release of Necropolis ~~(Release Day: Thursday, April 24th)~~. Necropolis is a humorous work of dark Fiction about a sociopath, who works for the Burials and Cemeteries department in his local council.

The following is an extract from Necropolis:

Monday 10:15 a.m. – Newton Community and Business Facility

So here I am at the quarterly cemeteries and funeral business professionals meeting. It is attended by the majority of those employed in the death business in Newton and the adjoining boroughs, both public and private sector – the good, the bad and the ugly. Other than our chosen profession there is something else that everyone in here has in common at this given time. That something is boredom, rapidly descending into apathy. To my left a Lithuanian gravedigger idly picks his nose. To my right a mortician plays Sonic on his iPhone. Next to him a bereavement councillor’s afro-styled head lulls to one side. In the row in front a morgue rat, his head resting against his shoulder, snores loudly, a stream of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth. A fellow morgue rat in the adjoining seat glances at the watch on his wrist and then utters an obscenity in some Eastern European language, an action he repeats every minute or so. That heavy set figure a few rows ahead, with spiky hair bent forward reading a book; that is Rebecca, the overseer of Boden.

At the front of the hall a thin, female, local Conservative councillor wearing glasses is giving a presentation about ‘team’, ‘teamwork’ and the Government’s plans to transfer power from Whitehall to local communities…

This is the blurb for Necropolis ~~(Release Date: April 24th)~~:

When an opportunity presents itself will Dyson seize his chance and find freedom, or is his destiny to be a life of toil in Burials and Cemeteries?

Brutal, bleak and darkly comical, Necropolis is a savage indictment of the politically correct, health and safety obsessed world in which we live.

‘Not only a funny, twisted, erudite satire on the psychopath genre, this novel also boasts a compelling plot and finely sculpted characters’

‘A black comedy of true distinction’

‘I was at once fascinated and disturbed by the devious Dyson Devereux with his malicious pedantry, wicked schemes and grotesque good taste. A barbed joy’

Black Humour

Mar 21 2014

My second book, Necropolis ~~(Release date: April 24th)~~ is a humorous work of dark fiction about a sociopath named Dyson, who works for the Burials and Cemeteries department in his local council. This week’s blog post is dedicated to the black humour genre.

The Encyclopaedia Britannica defines black humour (black comedy) – As writing that juxtaposes morbid or ghastly elements with comical ones that underscore the senselessness or futility of life.

(Note: Click on links to read my review of the given book)

Prior to the 1960’s the term black comedy was not commonly used. Early exponents include Joseph Heller, Nathanael West and Vladimir Nabokov (Lolita), Thomas Pynchon and Kurt Vonnegut.

It could be argued that the antecedents of the genre include the 5th Century BC Greek comedian Aristophanes and Voltaire’s seminal work, Candide.

Contemporary authors who utilise black humour in their writing include Irvine Welsh, Bret Easton Ellis (American Psycho, Less Than Zero & Glamorama), Andrey Kurkov (Death And The Penguin) and Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club, Haunted, Damned, Doomed & Choke).

The following is a short extract from my ~~forthcoming~~ book, Necropolis.

Why, when I work in Burials and Cemeteries, is everyone always so alive? Take this morning for instance. Council workers mingle incessantly in the passageways, talking animatedly about the usual banalities; Christmas shopping, weekend plans and family updates – anything other than work. The telephone rings remorselessly, the in-tray creaks under its heavy burden and there are requests too. Frank asking me to proof-read a sheltered housing proposal document, the education department with a question about Sage, and Grace, appearing at my desk, crucifix dangling from her neck, requesting that I speak to a Guyanese council leisure facility user on the telephone in French. On such a sunny day I only wish I were alone in Newton Old, perched on a grave, reading a newspaper and drinking a cafe latte extra hot with soy milk from Starbucks.

Tag - Black Comedy

Sepultura Blurb Reveal

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Necropolis Has A New Blurb

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Sepultura

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Necropolis is Now On Sale

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My Year In Books

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My Top 5 Most Disturbing Books

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New Curtains and Blinds

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Necropolis Launch

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Necropolis Countdown

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Black Humour

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Tag - Black Comedy

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