Twitter Part 3

(I include the first three sections for those who did not read Twitter part 1 or 2).


The evolution of Twitter since its creation in 2006 has been unprecedented in the history of the Universe.  Twitter is currently inhabited by approximately 140 million creatures (though it is suspected that some are robotic).  This study examines the role of two of Twitter’s many species.

Aims & Objectives

i).  To observe, document & compare the tweeting habits of two species.

ii). Use the results to draw conclusions on the given species prospects for further evolutionary progress.


One hundred tweets from two specimens from each species were analysed over a five day period.  On each day a different hourly time frame was evaluated.  (Note: In instances where not enough tweets were present, the team worked backwards in chronological order until the twenty tweet target was achieved).

The two species are:

Irritating Interloper (Vexo Tertius) & Inspirational Innovator (Inspiratori Novitatis)

The Irritating Interloper

Social Orientation: solitary

Habitat: scrubland & rocky outcrops

Diet: carrion

Behaviour: Irritating Interlopers generally tweet in short flurries several times a day.  Tweeting is sporadic and occurs only during waking hours.  It is very unusual for Irritating Interloper tweets to either be part of a tweeting conversation or to result in one.  Tweets are in the form of statements, generally contain capitalisation and usually at least one occurrence of the word I, Me or My (regional variations may apply).  Other species’ have been recorded recoiling at the sound of a lone Irritating Interloper’s tweeting call, before moving hastily out of tweeting range.

The Inspirational Innovator 

Social Orientation: small family groups

Habitat: burrows are located in open grassland/prairies

Diet: grass & flowers

Behaviour: Inspirational Innovators tweet intermittently on a daily basis.  Tweeting generally occurs about six to ten times in any given twenty-four period, during both waking and sleeping hours.  Inspirational Innovators are pensive rational creatures, who generally tweet about a single topic, which they deem will inspire creatures with an interest in this subject matter and which in turn will aid their own ongoing evolutionary status in the Twitter sphere.

Tweeting data

Breakdown of Irritating Interloper tweets

Breakdown of Inspirational Innovator tweets


The Irritating Interloper

i).  The research team suspects that the life span of the Irritating Interloper is brief.  Alarmingly, shortly after this study was completed one of the research specimens’s disappeared.  Despite our attempts to locate it by sending tweets that would appeal to its narcissistic tendencies, no reply was forthcoming.

ii). Static follower numbers are evidence that the tweeting habits of Irritating Interlopers are not appreciated by other species’.

iii). The research team deems that the continual use of capitalisation and/or exclamation marks in tweets is both aggressive and intrusive.  Crucially it fails to engage other creatures.

iv). The universally self-serving narcissistic nature of Irritating Interloper tweets is ironically failing to provide them with any tangible benefits.

The Inspirational Innovator

i).  It is evident from steadily growing follower numbers and the convivial nature of the few conversations that were recorded that the original/innovative tweets of Inspirational Innovators will lead to evolutionary success.

ii). Inspirational Innovators relatively low tweeting rate is evidence that it is not only voluminous/vociferous species’ that are succeeding in the Twitter sphere.


a).  Irritating Interlopers would do well to remember that carrion eaters were generally regarded as loathsome beasts in the Old world.  It is evident that this opinion remains in the Twitter sphere.  Irritating Interlopers are urged to take a more flexible approach to tweeting and engage with others in order to change this commonly held view.

b).  Inspirational Innovators are remarkable in that their evolutionary success comes despite the fact that they are far less sociable than the other successful tweeting species’ documented over the last two weeks.  Irritating Interlopers are advised to observe and learn from the tweeting habit of this species.

Comments welcomed


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