Guy Portman's Blog

Bizarre Books VI

This week sees the sixth and final instalment of my bizarre books series. As with previous instalments I have added pithy/fictitious comments below each.

And now for the 10 bizarre books:

Dancing with Cats

A sure way to attract the attention of the men in white coats.

 

Hog Manure Management

If you like hogs and manure this is the book for you. If not you might want to consider a different title.

 

What About Christian Rock?

What about it? No, do not press play.

 

25 Placenta Recipes


Finally! I have been growing so tired of plain boiled placentas.

 

People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead

Otherwise known as ghosts.

 

Cards As Weapons

Using cards as throwing stars can be very useful when you are poised to lose money on a card game.

 

Semenology: The Semen Bartender’s Handbook

Let this book be a warning to all those who treat bartenders badly.

 

Mommy, Why is There a Server in the House?

Mommy: ‘Since daddy left I have been feeling very lonely, and…’

 

Is It a Sin to Eat a Chocolate Bar? 


No, not if it is an organic, gluten-free, fair trade, sustainable farming WholeFoods chocolate bar.

 

Round Ireland with a fridge

Author: ‘If I knew it was going to be this difficult, I would have brought a suitcase instead.’

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