Tag - Authors

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If Authors Were Desserts
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20 Bizarre Author-Related Facts
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Authors As Desserts VI
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Authors As Desserts V
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My Favourite Authors: their best and worst
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Famous Authors’ Bizarre Writing Habits
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7 Bizarre Author Deaths
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If Authors Were Desserts IV
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Authors as Desserts III
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15 Bizarre Male Author Facts

If Authors Were Desserts

Here are twelve authors and the desserts that in my opinion they/their writing corresponds to.

Norman Mailer

Mailer

Cultural criticism, controversy and obscenity were hallmarks of this volatile and violent author.

Corresponding dessert: Fruitcake

Fruit Cake

Rationale: Self-explanatory

 

Stephanie Meyer

Meyer

Meyer is a young-adult fiction writer responsible for the vampire romance series Twilight.

Corresponding dessert: Sponge Cake

sponge cake

Rationale: It might look like a cake, feel like a cake and smell like a cake, but on taking a bite one realises it’s mostly just air.

 

Vladimir Nabokov

Nabokov

The intellectual Russian born Nabokov utilised an ornate prose style.

Corresponding dessert: Deconstructed S’more

Deconstructed Smores

Rationale: This sophisticated, deconstructed extravagance contains chocolate-coated cereal garnishes, caramelised vanilla marshmallow and more besides.

 

L. Ron Hubbard

Hubbard

The Scientology founder wrote numerous Sci-Fi and psychotherapy books.

Corresponding dessert: Waffle

IMG_0677

Rationale: The content of Scientology’s doctrine.

 

Ambrose Bierce

Corresponding dessert: Lemon sorbet

Rationale: Few desserts are more acerbic.

 

Anne Rice

Rice

The Vampire Chronicles creator is one of the best-selling writers in recent American history.

Corresponding dessert: Jelly

Jelly

Rationale: Right-minded adults steer clear of this puerile dessert.

 

Bret Easton Ellis

Easton-Ellis

Easton Ellis is a master of social commentary. Much of his writing features vapid, soulless characters.

Corresponding dessert: Lemon Sorbet

lemon

Rationale: This cold, astringent dessert isn’t for everyone. I rather like it.

 

Dan Brown

Brown

Brown has sold more than 200 million of his mystery/conspiracy novels.

Corresponding dessert: Ring-Shaped Donut

Doughnut

Rationale: These deep-fried snacks have a gaping hole in the middle.

 

Agatha Christie

Agatha Christie

English crime novelist Agatha Christie is the best-selling author of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Tunnock’s Teacake

Tea Cake

Rationale: One has to first unwrap the packaging and then bite through the outer layer to reveal what lies beneath.

 

E. L. James

ELJAmes

Erotica novelist E. L. James is one of the World’s best-selling authors.

Corresponding dessert: Cheesecake

cheese

Rationale: Many, including yours truly, are of the opinion that cheese and cake should not be mixed.

 

Leo Tolstoy

Tolstoy

Iconic Russian writer Tolstoy is best-remembered for his opuses Anna Karenina and War And Peace.

Corresponding dessert: Heavy Cake

Heavy Cake

Rationale: Heavy Cake is dense and requires a lot of chewing, but it tastes good.

 

Sidney Sheldon

Sidney Sheldon

Chick lit/Thriller author Sheldon is the one of the best-selling authors of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Wafer

Wafer

Rationale: With their primary ingredient being air, wafers won’t satisfy one’s hunger.

 

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20 Bizarre Author-Related Facts

In recent years I have dedicated a number of blog posts to the topic of bizarre author-related trivia. Here are 20 of the most bizarre author facts I have come across to date.

Modernist writer Katherine Mansfield wore a mourning dress to her own wedding.

Zadie Smith spent the best part of 2 years writing and rewriting the first 20 pages of her novel, On Beauty.

William Burroughs accidentally killed his partner Joan Vollmer by shooting her in the head.

There is an asteroid named after Kurt Vonnegut.

J.R.R. Tolkien typed the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy with two fingers.

Dr Seuss included the word ‘contraceptive’ in a draft of his children’s book Hop on Pop to make sure the publisher was concentrating.

It took Helen Hooven Santmyer 50 years to pen And Ladies of the Club.

Dan Brown is a fan of inversion therapy He often hangs upside down in antigravity boots because he claims it helps him relax.

John Boyne claims to have written The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas in only 2 and a half days.

ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG-ANDERSON is the author of Birth Control Is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and Also Robbing God of Priesthood. Every letter in the book capitalised.

Helen Hoover Santymeyer was 88 when her seminal work And Ladies of the Club was published.

John Steinbeck — Steinbeck was obsessed with pencils, particularly Blackwing 602’s.

American music critic and author Gustav Kobbé’s was out sailing when a seaplane misjudged its descent and struck his boat, killing him.

Vladimir Nabokov had a fixation with index cards. The majority of his novels were written out on cards with a pencil.

Dorothy Parker’s epitaph reads, Excuse my dust

Victor T. Cheney is the author of Castration: The Advantages and the Disadvantages.

In 1912 Ambrose Bierce invented 1 of the earliest emoticons, the snigger point, written as \ ___ /! It was designed to look like a smiling mouth.

Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables contains a sentence that is 823 words long.

Jane Austen never married, but she was engaged for 1 night. She accepted the proposal of marriage 2 weeks prior to her 27th birthday. Austen changed her mind the next day.

Billy Wilder epitaph is, I’m a writer but then nobody’s perfect

 

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Authors As Desserts VI

This week I have been hard at work on my fourth novel, Sepultura. It is the sequel to my black comedy, Necropolis.

I have also written the sixth instalment in my series; authors and the desserts that in my opinion they/their writing corresponds to. Here are 8 authors and their corresponding desserts.

 

James Patterson

Patterson is one of the best-selling authors of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Vanilla ice-cream

Rationale: Vanilla ice-cream might not be the most enthralling dessert in the world, but many of us eat it all the same.

 

Emily Dickinson

This prolific American poet and recluse had a penchant for baking.

Corresponding dessert: Hermit Cookies

 

Paulo Coelho 

Coelho is the best-selling Portuguese language author of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Pastel de nata

Rationale: This egg tart pastry dessert is extremely popular throughout the Portuguese-speaking world.

 

Helen Fielding

Chick lit author Fielding penned Bridget Jones’s Diary.

Corresponding dessert: Pink Cupcakes

Rationale: Pink cupcakes are so pretty you almost don’t want to eat them.

 

Jim Thompson

Jim Thompson is one of the greatest ‘pulp’ authors of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Mango Pulp

Rationale: This dessert might be pulp but it tastes sweet.

 

Charles Dickens

Harrowing realism was the order of the day for England’s greatest ever author.

Corresponding dessert: Dessert porridge

 

Thomas Hardy

Hardy was an English novelist and poet best known for Tess of the d’Ubervilles and Far from the Madding Crowd.

Corresponding dessert: Black Rice Pudding

Rationale: This dessert might be unabated in its blackness but it tastes good.

 

   Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter’s seven best-sellers include Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right and If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans.

Corresponding dessert: Cobblers

 

 

 

 

 

Authors As Desserts V

It has been quite some time since I dedicated a post to the topic of authors and the desserts that in my opinion they/their writing corresponds to. Here are 8 authors and their corresponding desserts.

 

Karl Marx

Corresponding dessert: Guriev Porridge

Rationale: It is widely believed that this frugal Russian dessert was invented by a serf chef.

 

Ambrose Bierce

Corresponding dessert: Lemon sorbet

Rationale: Few desserts are more acerbic.

 

Barbara Cartland

Corresponding dessert: Valentine’s Cookies

Rationale: These pink, heart-shaped morsels all taste the same.

 

James Joyce

Corresponding dessert: Perfect St. Patrick’s Day Cake 

Rationale: This decadent, multi-layered cake is made from Guinness, Irish Cream and bittersweet chocolate.

 

Franz Kafka 

Corresponding dessert: Sourdough Cake

Rationale: This dessert offering might not taste sweet, but it does taste good.

 

Sophie Kinsella

Corresponding dessert: Pink Waffle

Rationale: Pretty, pink desserts containing little more than air are not for everyone.

 

Jane Austen

Corresponding dessert: Lemon Drizzle Cake

Rationale: This traditional English offering is bitter yet appetising.

 

Jilly Cooper

Corresponding dessert: Jam Roly Poly

Rationale: This warm, sticky dessert is a staple of the English upper classes.

 

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A Black Comedy of True Distinction

 

My Favourite Authors: their best and worst

I have my favourite authors, but that is not to say that I like all of their books. This week’s post is dedicated to what in my humble opinion is the following 4 authors’ best and worst books. Click on the links to read my reviews:

 

Vladimir Nabokov(April 22nd, 1899 – July 2nd, 1977)

Admittedly I have only read a couple of books penned by the Russian-American author and entomologist.

My favourite: Lolita

The protagonist, Humbert Humbert, is an intellectual with an all-consuming craving for young girls, or nymphets as he refers to them. After his wife leaves him for another man, Humbert Humbert becomes a live-in tutor…(more)

My least favourite: Pnin

Despite having lived in America for many years, conservative and eccentric Russian professor Timofei Pnin has never fully grasped the subtleties of the English language…(more)

 

Chuck Palahniuk(Born: February 21st, 1962)  

I have read many of this iconic transgressive fiction author’s works. Whilst I remain an avid fan, the quality of his books varies markedly in my opinion.

My favourite: Fight Club

The protagonist, who remains nameless, is an insomniac leading a bland corporate existence, investigating accidents for a car company, whose only concern is profit…(more)

My least favourite: Doomed

Doomed is the sequel to Damned and part two of a proposed Dante inspired trilogy.  It sees the return of Damned’s protagonist – the plucky, post-life, plump, periphrastic, pubescent progeny of celebrity parents…(more)

 

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn(December 11th, 1918 – August 3rd, 2008)

This controversial Russian author is one of my favourite writers. However…

My favourite: One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich

Ivan Denisovich Shukhov is a former POW serving a 10 year term in a Gulag on the Kazakh steppe for being a spy. He is innocent. The book chronicles a single day of his existence…(more)

My least favourite: August 1914

Set in the years leading up to The Revolution, this monumental book is Solzhenitsyn’s interpretation of a turbulent period in his country’s history, beginning with the outbreak of World War I…(more)

 

Bret Easton Ellis (Born: March 7th, 1964)

Easton Ellis achieved cult status for his outstanding works of transgressive fiction. In this reader’s opinion his later books are not as good as his early efforts.

My favourite: American Psycho

American Psycho is a highly controversial novel that brought its young author Bret Easton Ellis instant fame.  The book is written from the perspective of a young Wall Street financier, Patrick Bateman…(more)

My least favourite: Lunar Park

Lunar Park is a mock memoir that begins with a parodic account of Bret Easton Ellis’s early fame. The young New York resident’s existence consists of endless parties, casual relationships, spiralling drug use...(more)

 

 

 

Famous Authors’ Bizarre Writing Habits

Many authors have writing habits/routines that could be described as bizarre. Back in 2014 I dedicated a blog post to the subject. This is the second instalment. Here are 8 authors who have/had bizarre writing habits.

Alexandre Dumas — This French writer used different coloured paper for different types of writing. Blue was his colour of choice for fiction, pink for articles, and yellow for poetry.

Ernest Hemingway — Hemingway is one of a number of famous authors who liked/like to write standing up. His preference was to have a typewriter and reading board at chest-height opposite him.

Joan Didion — Literary journalist and novelist Joan Didion spends an hour alone before dinner with a drink, going through what she has written that day. When nearing the end of a book she sleeps in the same room as it.

James Joyce — This eccentric writer wrote in a white coat whilst lying on his stomach in bed. For writing materials he used cardboard and various coloured crayons. Joyce did this because he had poor eyesight. His white coat reflected the light.

Quill2

Friedrich Schiller — German poet Schiller always kept a pile of rotten apples in the drawer of his writing desk. He believed that the aroma inspired him, and that he could not write without it.

Franz Kafka — Kafka’s career left him with little time to write. After work he would rest and eat before commencing writing at 11 p.m. This taxing regime was said to have left him permanently exhausted.

W.H. Auden — This obsessive poet used drugs to balance his routine. He swallowed the amphetamine Benzedrine every morning for 20 years. At night he took the barbiturate Seconal in order to get to sleep.

John Steinbeck — Steinbeck was obsessed with pencils, particularly Blackwing 602’s. Drafts of his books were crafted in pencil, and he always kept 12 perfectly sharpened pencils aligned on his desk. He claimed pencils charged him with invention and energy.

As for me I am prone to wearing ear defenders when writing, to eliminate distracting sounds.

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7 Bizarre Author Deaths

Last year I dedicated a blog post to 10 bizarre author deaths. This is the second and final instalment. Here are 7 more author deaths that could be described as bizarre. They are presented in chronological order.

Euripideseuripides(480 B.C. – 406 B.C.)

Euripides was an Ancient Greek tragedian. It was feelings of embitterment over his defeats in the Dionysia playwriting competitions that led him to move to Macedonia. There are a number of different theories as to how he met his demise there. One is that his first experience of the cold during the Macedonian winter killed him. Others have suggested he was killed by hunting dogs, or even torn apart by women. Euripides had a reputation for being something of a misogynist.

 

PetroniusPetroniusCirca 27 A.D. – 66 A.D.

Petronius is widely accepted to be the author of the scathing satirical novel Satyricon. The book ridiculed the pretensions of Rome’s newly rich. In 66 A.D. Petronius was accused of plotting to kill the Emperor Nero. Instead of waiting for his sentence, he decided to commit suicide by having his veins opened and then bound up again. The bandages were bandaged to prolong life, so that Petronius could spend time conversing with friends and enjoying a sumptuous banquet, after which he went to bed to die in his sleep.

 

Christopher MarloweChristopher Marlowe(February 26th 1564 – May 30th 1593)

The exact circumstances surrounding playwright Christopher Marlowe’s death remain a mystery. He met his demise when companion Ingram Frizer stabbed him with a knife. The official story is that an argument broke out over a drinks bill, resulting in Marlowe attacking Frizer with a knife, only to be disarmed and dispatched with a single thrust of the blade to the eye. Some have argued that his death was a political assassination whilst others claim it was because he was deemed a danger to the state, due to his reputed atheistic beliefs.

 

Sir Francis BaconSir Francis Bacon(January 22nd 1561 – April 9th 1626)

Sir Francis Bacon was an English philosopher, scientist, statesman, orator, essayist and author. The 65-year-old Bacon was purportedly travelling in his carriage in the midst of a snowstorm in Highgate when it occurred to him that snow would be an ideal way to preserve and insulate meat. Bacon immediately purchased a gutted chicken and attempted to prove his theory by stuffing the bird with snow. Unfortunately these actions resulted in pneumonia. He perished several days later.

 

Mark TwainMark Twain(November 30th 1835 – April 21st 1910)

Mark Twain is regarded as the father of American literature. He was born shortly after a visit by Halley’s Comet. Twain was convinced that he would meet his end when the comet next returned to earth. He famously said, ‘I came in with Halley’s Comet in 1835. It is coming next year, and I expect to go out with it.’ On April 21st 1910 Twain’s prophetic declaration came true, when he died of a heart attack, merely one day after the comet’s closest proximity to earth.

 

Hart Cranecrane(July 21, 1899 – April 27, 1932)

Crane was an influential American poet who wrote modernist poetry that was highly stylized, and ambitious in its scope. Crane was a heavy drinker prone to depression. It was while on board a steamship en route to New York that he jumped overboard into the Gulf of Mexico. Witnesses believed his intentions were suicidal because several reported that he exclaimed ‘Goodbye, everybody!’ prior to throwing himself overboard. His body was never recovered.

 

Ödön von Horváthhorvath(December 9th, 1901 – June 1st 1938)

Von Horváth was an Austro-Hungarian playwright and novelist. He met his demise when a falling branch from a tree killed him during a thunderstorm on the Champs-Élysées in Paris. A few days earlier, von Horváth had said to a friend: ‘I am not so afraid of the Nazis … There are worse things one can be afraid of, namely things one is afraid of without knowing why.’ A few years earlier, von Horváth wrote a poem about lightning. Yes, thunder, that it can do. And bolt and storm. Terror and destruction.

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Click here to read Bizarre Author Deaths Part I.

If Authors Were Desserts IV

This week we return to the subject of authors and the desserts that in my opinion their writing corresponds to. Here are 8 authors and their corresponding desserts.

Leo TolstoyTolstoy

Iconic Russian writer Tolstoy is best-remembered for his opuses Anna Karenina and War And Peace.

Corresponding dessert: Heavy Cake

Heavy Cake(Courtesy of Pudsy You Like)

Rationale: Heavy Cake is dense and requires a lot of chewing, but it tastes good.

 

Anne RiceRice

The Vampire Chronicles creator is one of the best-selling writers in recent American history.

Corresponding dessert: Jelly

Jelly(Courtesy of Reddit)

Rationale: Right-minded adults steer clear of this puerile dessert.

 

William S. BurroughsWilliamBurroughs

The Beat author’s later works utilise a non-linear style.

Corresponding dessert: Upside-Down Cake

Upside Down(Courtesy of Zahlicious)

Rationale: Upside-down it might be, but this cake has many tasty ingredients.

 

Jude DeverauxDeveraux

Some of this prolific American writer’s historical romances feature paranormal themes and time travel.

Corresponding dessert: Fudge Cake

Fudge(Courtesy of Gastronomy Domine)

Rationale: To make this dessert all you have to do is get a load of fudge and bung some chocolate on top.

 

Norman MailerMailer

Cultural criticism, controversy and obscenity were hallmarks of this volatile and violent  author.

Corresponding dessert: Fruitcake

Fruit Cake(Courtesy of Food.com)

Rationale: Self-explanatory

 

Aleksandr SolzhenitsynSolzhenitsyn

Themes in Solzhenitsyn’s writing include gulags, political oppression and cancer.

Corresponding dessert: Black Bun

Black Bun(Courtesy of Baking For Britain)

Rationale: Many people would no doubt prefer a dessert with brighter colours, but not me.

 

Stephen KingStephen King

This master of horror and suspense is adored the World over.

Corresponding dessert: Devil’s Food Cake

Devil's(Courtesy of Always Foodie)

Rationale: The Devil’s voice is sweet to hear. And his cake tastes pretty good too.

 

Sidney SheldonSidney Sheldon

Chick lit/Thriller author Sheldon is the one of the best-selling authors of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Wafer

Wafer(Courtesy of Bar Bakers)

Rationale: With their primary ingredient being air, wafers won’t satisfy one’s hunger.

Click here to read Part III

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My novels include the satirical black comedy, Necropolis.

Necropolis

Authors as Desserts III

This week we return to the topic of authors and the desserts that in my opinion their writing corresponds to. Here are 8 authors and their corresponding desserts.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Dostoyevsky

Reading the iconic Russian author’s books is rewarding, but challenging.

Corresponding dessert: Gooey Butter Cake

Butter Cake

(Courtesy of Its Good To Be The Cook)

Rationale: Gooey butter cake may be delicious, but it is incredibly dense and requires a lot of chewing.

 

L. Ron Hubbard

Hubbard

The Scientology founder wrote numerous Sci-Fi and psychotherapy books.

Corresponding dessert: Waffle

IMG_0677

(Courtesy of Heritage Radio Network)

Rationale: The content of Scientology’s doctrine.

 

Virginia Woolf

Virginia Woolf

Woolf favoured observations and interior monologue over plot. Themes in her writing include suicide.

Corresponding dessert: Depression Cake

Depression Cake

(Courtesy of Pinterest)

Rationale: Depression cake might look like a normal cake, but with little or no butter, eggs or milk it isn’t particularly appetising.

 

Irvine Welsh

Irvine Welsh

Themes in this legendary Scottish transgressive author’s writing include drugs and poverty.

Corresponding dessert: Deep-Fried Mars Bar

Deep Mars

(Courtesy of The Daily Mail)

Rationale: These treats might not be soft on the eye, and they are probably bad for you, but they taste good.

 

Guy Portman

Guy Portman

You may not have heard of Guy Portman, but you can take his word for it that he’s a talented author.

Corresponding dessert: Dark Chocolate Truffles with Clementine Zest

Truffles

(Courtesy of My Tartelette)

Rationale: The zest is this exquisite delight’s pièce de résistance. It is surprising that this dessert is not more popular.

 

Yukio Mishima

Mishima

Mishima was a staunch nationalist, and Japan’s most famous ever author.

Corresponding dessert: Daifuku (大福)

Daifuku

(Courtesy of Jap Pop)

Rationale: Daifuku is a traditional Japanese dessert that some Westerners enjoy.

 

Bret Easton Ellis

Easton-Ellis

Easton Ellis is a master of social commentary. Much of his writing features vapid, soulless characters.

Corresponding dessert: Lemon Sorbet

lemon

(Courtesy of Dishmaps)

Rationale: This cold, astringent dessert isn’t for everyone. I rather like it.

 

Nora Roberts

Roberts

Nora Roberts is one of the best-selling Romance authors of all time.

Corresponding dessert: Summer Pudding

Summer Pudding

(Courtesy of Home Farmer)

Rationale: The mere sight of this pink extravagance makes me feel quite queasy.

Click here to read Part II

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Necropolis

 

15 Bizarre Male Author Facts

Here are 15 bizarre male author facts.

Pile of Books

Did you know that:

There is an asteroid named after Kurt Vonnegut.

Victor Hugo wrote The Hunchback of Notre-Dame and Les Misérables in the nude. Hugo would order his valet to hide his clothes until after he had finished writing.

Only 10 people attended D. H. Lawrence’s funeral. 1 of them was Aldous Huxley.

Billy Wilder’s epitaph is – I’m a writer but then nobody’s perfect.

William Burroughs accidentally killed his partner Joan Vollmer by shooting her in the head.

WilliamBurroughs

On his marriage document in 1582, William Shakespeare’s name was spelled William Shagspeare.

American music critic and author Gustav Kobbé’s was out sailing when a seaplane misjudged its descent and struck his boat, killing him.

American playwright Tennessee Williams died from swallowing a bottle of eye drops.

In 1912 Ambrose Bierce invented 1 of the earliest emoticons, the snigger point, written as \ ___ /! It was designed to look like a smiling mouth.

Vladimir Nabokov had a ‘genitalia’ cabinet, in which he stored his collection of male butterfly genitalia.

Nabokov

Dr Seuss included the word ‘contraceptive’ in a draft of his children’s book Hop on Pop to make sure the publisher was concentrating.

On his deathbed when asked by the priest to renounce Satan, Voltaire allegedly said, ‘Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.’

John Boyne claims to have written The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas in only 2 and a half days.

Henry David Thoreau’s last words were allegedly, ‘Moose. Indian.’ Perhaps not the most rational last words ever uttered, but apt, considering the subject matter of Thoreau’s writing.

Vladimir Nabokov had a fixation with index cards. The majority of his novels were written out on cards with a pencil. Nabokov also wrote standing up.

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I am the author of the satirical black comedy, Necropolis.

Necropolis

 

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